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Original poster

Crying at the thought of going in tomorrow

113 replies

Butterfly94 · 06/09/2022 22:54

Teacher at a secondary school, very very challenging behaviour in every class. I'm going to be handing my notice in ASAP as I just can't stand going in anymore, and we can't afford the childcare anyway. It's my first day back teaching tomorrow as I work part time, and I'm sat here panicking and crying about the behaviour I'll have to face tomorrow. It's everywhere, SLT are ineffective and the kids run the place. I've lost any ability to control the classes, and my heart absolutely isn't in it. I can't keep going until December and will try to negotiate an early finish. Someone help me feel better about going in tomorrow? I don't want to go to bed as then the morning will come too quickly!

OP posts:

OldChinaJug · 07/09/2022 03:40

I also knew you'd be a teacher from your thread title.

Behaviour is deteriorating generally from primary upwards and I'm not sure what SLT can do about it.

Tbh, I think the pandemic is a convenient scapegoat. Behaviour was deteriorating long before lockdowns. The pandemic didn't help but its far further reaching than that.

OP, I agree with the others. I'd call in sick tomorrow, get yourself to the doctors and hand in your notice. Take care of yourself.

OnlyEverAutumn · 07/09/2022 03:56

@OldChinaJug couldnt agree more - I’ve just left teaching for the same reason. The pandemic has exacerbated an already horrendous decline in behaviour.

You only have to look at some of the ludicrous threads on here to see where the problem lies 🤷‍♀️.

OP I hope you got it sorted x

BCBird · 07/09/2022 05:15

You must put your health first. That is your priority. I am.a teacher too. My school is not the same as your school re behaviour but I have been in a similar situation.

Loads of people cite indiscipline as a reason why they are leaving and tbh I totally understand.
People saying just get in with it have no idea what it is like.

Look after yourself

MarieG10 · 07/09/2022 05:21

If your SLT is in effective the only hope is to leave. I am a chair of governors and took over in the midst of a crap SLT....there is no hope until the head is replaced and then they can go about holding the rest of SLT to account. Believe me they all start to leave their leadership posts quick when they find out it isn't about continuing to be an ineffective teacher just laid more.

In the meantime, your mental health can't wait for that so get out now and give yourself a break

backwhiteandredallover · 07/09/2022 05:36

I also knew you'd be a teacher. I was you many years ago. The thing that saved me was getting signed off.
It's horrendous being in a job that makes you feel like this.
Go and see your GP tomorrow if you can, any decent GP will be only too familiar with teachers in this position and sign you off I a second. I know mind did.
Good look

OhTheLeetleHandsAndFeetle · 07/09/2022 06:19

Get signed off but don’t give up on teaching completely . When it goes well it’s a truly wonderful job and there are still some good schools out there. Get well, then take your time selecting one you’d like to work in. I have every sympathy with how you are feeling now. Look after yourself.

carefullycourageous · 07/09/2022 06:40

LuluBlakey1 · 06/09/2022 23:17

Why didn't you resign so you could have left at the end of summer term?

My friend has a mum who asks questions like this. They don't chat much for obvious reasons. What is the point of your question? The op is asking what to do next.

rainuntilseptember · 07/09/2022 06:41

I know how awful this can feel OP but I'm possibly not in the "don't go in" camp because I have felt this way a number of times and carried on - it has always got better. Either by moving schools, being more familiar to the pupils, or working something else out for behaviour (in your case, you can't rely on management so you need a different approach).
If you've a couple of children teaching will bring in a reasonable (not great!) income for you and you can spend a lot of holiday time with them. I'm surprised your salary doesn't cover childcare.
Basically I would go in today, there is often a hill of negative expectation about the first day back and it isn't always as bad when you get there. But absolutely if this dread doesn't alleviate see your GP.

wibblywobblybits · 07/09/2022 06:42

My friend has a mum who asks questions like this. They don't chat much for obvious reasons.

@carefullycourageous Yes I also used to have a friend like this.

Note the use of past tenses...

MumofSpud · 07/09/2022 06:45

Yesterday was Day 1 of my ECT (NQT in 'old money'!)
I feel your pain - behaviour is, I am sure, the top reason teachers leave.
Good Luck!

Flowerhorn · 07/09/2022 06:52

I agree not to go in and definitely get signed off sick you should be paid. But not all schools are like the one you describe. So don't necessarily give up on teaching just find a better school where SLT have behaviour as their remit.

rainuntilseptember · 07/09/2022 07:00

I don't always agree with LuluBlakey's posts, but I can't see what's wrong with asking what has changed since the last resignation date that has made things so much harder.

carefullycourageous · 07/09/2022 08:10

rainuntilseptember · 07/09/2022 07:00

I don't always agree with LuluBlakey's posts, but I can't see what's wrong with asking what has changed since the last resignation date that has made things so much harder.

That's not what they asked

They asked Why didn't you resign so you could have left at the end of summer term? which is fucking pointless.

justaladyLOL · 07/09/2022 08:53

"You need to get yourself signed off sick."
That is exactly the problem many companies have
Sorry to be harsh but if you cannot cope with the job resign and do something else
I think a lot of state schools have hideously badly behaved kids

Kanaloa · 07/09/2022 08:57

If you can’t/don’t want to get signed off sick I’d just check out. I’ve done that before when I’ve worked at horribly run schools (in the nursery right enough). You can’t do your job well without the right tools and support, because if the school is run badly overall with bad behavioural support you’re not going to be able to change that in the class. So I’d completely check out, just deliver the class in a monotone and let them behave badly, knowing that you’re working your notice out anyway. Or call for your superior at every unmanageable behaviour issue and make it their problem.

Original poster

Butterfly94 · 07/09/2022 09:00

Thanks all. I'm not going in today and am waiting for a call back from my doctor. Will be handing my notice in this week, so looking forward to actually doing that! Feel so much better already.

I don't even think we can blame the pandemic. It's always been a school with terrible behaviour - kids barging into your class when your teaching and refusing to leave, SLT literally chasing groups of truants around the corridors while classes watch and laugh, and constant swearing and violence from kids and sometimes parents. I came back from maternity leave in May and things were so much worse if you can believe it! Each day in has chipped away at my confidence as a teacher and I feel like I've snapped. I spent the weekend dreading today, which is ridiculous. I really hope they let me go early and I don't have to go back. Tutoring might be something to look into, but I might have to have a bit of a break from education before looking into it.

OP posts:

Softplayhooray · 07/09/2022 09:04

Honestly I'd sign off sick or just hand in your notice! Or failing that, walk in inviting the craziness as you know you're on your way out, and every single moment of stress is a 100% endorsement of your decision to walk away!

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 07/09/2022 09:04

Teaching broke my mental health and l ended up with ill health retirement.

You hhe my deepest sympathy.

Iammatrix · 07/09/2022 09:05

My DS got GP to sign her off
on sick leave.

She was anxious, felt unsupported and made to feel she was the problem.

She also works in a SEN school.

She resigned and has now has a new job.

If it is making you feel like this you need to be mindful of your own MH.

Helgadaley · 07/09/2022 09:05

I read / posted on a thread recently about a teacher keeping a class back at hometime for 15 minutes, because there were children not lining up properly.

The number of posters who called the teacher 'a twat' and who piled on with aggressive comments towards her was astounding.
This teacher was obviously trying to establish some kind of discipline in the class.

It's no wonder that children are so badly behaved today - their parents don't support their teachers.

I got a lot of flack from other posters when I said that things were different when I was a teacher.

One poster said I needed 'training.'

There were some quite appalling posts from parents who should know better.

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 07/09/2022 09:06

I know how awful this can feel OP but I'm possibly not in the "don't go in" camp because I have felt this way a number of times and carried on - it has always got better

No that didn’t happen to me. It just got worse until it broke me.

Bluevelvetsofa · 07/09/2022 09:16

I knew from the title also, that this would be about teaching.

When I first started, there were always one or two in the class whose behaviour was challenging. Now it feels as though it’s the majority. It’s exhausting in a way that no one who has never experienced it would understand. I’ve been reduced to tears in a classroom, which is absolutely the worst thing you can do.

Why is it so much more difficult these days? It’s not just the pandemic, because it was poor before, although it didn’t help. Is that parents aren’t parenting, is it so much social media, screen time, entitlement? I don’t know, but it’s not for you OP. Get out as soon as you can before it breaks you and your family.

acorntotree · 07/09/2022 09:20

I work as a tutor (used to be secondary teacher) and the stories I hear from the pupils about their schools are horrific. Behaviour seems to be at an all time low following covid. I am genuinely worried about it for when my children are old enough for secondary.

EnidSpyton · 07/09/2022 09:25

justaladyLOL · 07/09/2022 08:53

This post exemplifies what a lot of people don’t seem to understand about how things work differently for teachers.

You can’t just resign and leave immediately. It doesn’t work like that. There are set dates by which you have to resign in order to leave at the next holiday. The notice period can be up to a whole school term if you mess up the deadlines or decide you can’t cope after a resignation deadline has passed. OP has missed the deadline to leave by half term at this point so the next opportunity to leave won’t be until Christmas. That’s 4 months of being absolutely miserable, in what is the longest and most challenging term of the school year.

I used to work in an independent school where the notice was a whole term. So if you started in September and didn’t like it, you were stuck there until Easter (because the resignation date to leave at Christmas was the end of the summer term). Asking people to spend 9 months working in a place that is making them mentally ill before they can leave is ridiculous.

So this is why many teachers are forced to go off sick before they leave. If there were more flexibility around notice periods there wouldn’t be this need.

TokyoTen · 07/09/2022 09:26

If it's that bad get signed off!

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