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Original poster

Wanted a girl… talk to me about a boy?! Please

102 replies

Interga · 31/08/2022 18:04

I know it’s silly. I’m sad as might be my only dc… I feel awful for being sad! His dad is a bit unpredictable too and is likely not going to be around much, I worry I won’t know what I’m doing. Worry boys need dads more than girls do etc etc. And I just don’t feel excited as I should .

OP posts:
PinotPony · 31/08/2022 20:49

Relax. Whatever you're feeling now will pass.

I desperately wanted a girl second time round. Almost cried when the sonography's said it was another boy. But I wouldn't change a thing. They are the light of my life.... just with a lot less ponies and plaits than I'd envisaged!

TooGood2BeFalse · 31/08/2022 21:03

Both boys and girls are amazing.

I have two sons,never had a preference although my 'motherly instinct' was wrong both times,thought they were girls 😁

They are 6 and 10 now,both fabulous little people with a massive range of interests including Roblox,insects,aliens, baking,painting nails, animals, swimming and Barbie. Their Dad is also not really in the picture but they are very happy kids, and just as dramatic at times as sometimes people assume girls to be.

I have no doubt if I had a daughter,she'd be just as wacky as us 3. 🤣 And also covered in mud.

Not negating your feelings at all OP, it must be an overwhelming time. Congratulations on expecting your little boy, and I am sure you will be very happy together xx

RLOU30 · 31/08/2022 21:44

My boy is 4 and I cannot imagine having a girl. He is funny, affectionate and imaginative with his play (dress up, kitchen/shop pretend play as well as hot wheels car mad) he really is everything to me and I think you can’t beat a mum and son relationship ❤️

Ticksallboxes · 31/08/2022 23:33

Mummyboy1 · 31/08/2022 18:18

Single parent here! Currently watching my 8 month old boy rolling around the floor. He's absolutely lovely and my best friend. I couldn't imagine a different baby. He's a joy, he's happy and loving, is starting to give actual cuddles. I'm in love completely with him. Obviously he could be like this if he was a girl!

Oh my...what a beautiful post!

Ticksallboxes · 31/08/2022 23:49

I have a teenage boy and girl and adore them equally, but they are so very different.

My older DS is sort of reserved, but I am sort of in awe of him as he's incredibly focused and organised.

On paper I'm closer to my younger DD - we do loads together. But we also argue a lot as she's very charming but very self absorbed and lazy. She also came out as gay this year, aged 15, which we've fully embraced.

Ticksallboxes · 31/08/2022 23:50

Anothernosebleed · 31/08/2022 18:30

I have one child, a boy, and his dad is not in the picture.

He is the most amazing person I could ever have wished for. Hes my best bud. Nearly 6, and has a lot of difficulties but I wouldn't change him for the world.

These utterly lovely posts are making me cry.

SleepingStandingUp · 01/09/2022 00:03

The upset of having a boy is so common on here, you should def do a thread search for people's answers.

It's your child. You'll work our what to do with it. Because they're all different. The only difference in them as babies is boys pee up and girls pee down

x2boys · 01/09/2022 02:50

Wouldloveanother · 31/08/2022 20:07

I mean look at the MN opinion of men - that they’re mainly self centred, egotistical rapists. I’m not surprised it’s put fear into some women about expecting boys.

Yeah that's mumsnets opnion 🙄
O0 you will love him because he's your child i couldn't love my boys more if i tried ,I would feel exactly the same with girls

OnlyEverAutumn · 01/09/2022 03:01

It always makes me laugh when posters say “I was very lucky to have one of each” as if those of us with same gender siblings are unlucky 🙄.

OP I have three teenage boys and they are an absolute joy. They are funny, clever, respectful, and the biggest feminists i know. There’s soooo much crap about “gender disappointment” (don’t get me started 😬) on here but the reality is so different ❤️.

Mummabear1234 · 01/09/2022 03:19

OP I have 3 DC and DC4 on the way, I had 2 girls in a row, and for some reason got it in my head my third would be a girl, I just always assumed I'd be a girl mom 🤷‍♀️

So imagine my surprise when my sister did my gender reveal and my eldest bit into a bright blue cupcake! Stunned silence. I loathe to admit it but I was initially horrified. I'd never looked after a little boy before, my girls were wonderful and I was just convinced I'd struggle to connect with a boy. I couldn't find a name for him right until he was born and I just fretted constantly that it would somehow be different and I'd feel detached.

I wish I hadn't. He's 7months old now and the absolute SWEETEST snd most content baby I could have ever wished for. He laughs all the time, is a constant ray of sunshine and always has the biggest smile. I love him beyond all measure. The girls adore him and often compete for his attention. I'm really hoping my next (and last lol) is another boy, I would love another, having him has totally changed my perspective.

So please don't worry, these things have a way of working out! Best of luck regardless xxx

user1471462428 · 01/09/2022 03:30

No one will ever love you as much as a four year old boy. I just got woken by mine as he missed me in his dreams. My daughter was never like that. And still isn’t!

blackpearwhitelilies · 01/09/2022 03:40

I was desperate for a girl. I’d always imagined having a daughter and longed for one. I did have a pang when they said we were having a boy, but he was the easiest, sweetest person to fall in love with and 21 years later he still is. When I was having my second I was desperate for a boy, because I wanted the same all over again. He was a boy and completely unlike his brother, but every bit as gorgeous and wonderful. They have been the cuddliest, most affectionate, gentlest people I know. Congratulations on your boy, OP. I bet he’ll be fabulous.

Butterfly44 · 01/09/2022 07:03

They are "mummy's boy" for a reason!!! So much more affectionate, loving and giving cuddles. You'll see Smile

Downtherefordancing · 01/09/2022 07:07

I felt the same as you Op. Its a while ago now, but when I was pregnant with my first, I was totally convinced it would be a girl. I was from a family with only girls. All young boys seemed to be thugs (no offence 😊). I was devastated when I found at the scan that it would be a boy.

I would say now, out of the 3 dc I have, I am closest to my boy. He is 23 now and is such a lovely person.

Also his dad wasn’t around much but he is fine.

You’ll be fine … your boy will be fine … he will become a fabulous person with your support and love ❤️

Charlavail · 01/09/2022 07:15

These threads are never the other way round which is strange as in the past boys were more wanted than girls. That isn't a criticism OP as I was desperate for a girl with my first baby! My boy is only a baby so I don't know much about them yet but he is a gorgeous slice of heaven.

Charlavail · 01/09/2022 07:18

Meant to add I did find it nearly impossible to find a name for DS. Whereas with DD there was loads of names I loved. I've also found dressing DD much more interesting but I know people on here would find that a ridiculous thing to say

ChagSameachDoreen · 01/09/2022 07:23

Charlavail · 01/09/2022 07:15

These threads are never the other way round which is strange as in the past boys were more wanted than girls. That isn't a criticism OP as I was desperate for a girl with my first baby! My boy is only a baby so I don't know much about them yet but he is a gorgeous slice of heaven.

I think it's great that girls are the more wanted sex now. Hopefully it will go some way to redress the milllenia of female infanticides, sex-selective abortions, and general disappointment with girl children.

LolaLoo2 · 01/09/2022 07:26

I thought my first would be a girl but ended up being a boy, I think I suffered slight gender disappointment at the time (few years ago now) but honestly, he is the best! I adore having a son. He's so loving and gentle, compared to all of my friends daughters I'd choose him in a heartbeat. I'm having a girl due Dec, and happy to get to experience both but me and DH have talked about it we had a 3rd we would so far be overjoyed if we had another boy.

DaisyWaldron · 01/09/2022 07:36

I have a boy and a girl, both teens, and if I gave you a description of their personalities, I don't think you would be able to guess which was which.

Eldest is quite reserved and driven, flits between a couple of mixed-gender friendship groups, likes anime, gaming, art, drama and sport, is currently a bit too old for frequent cuddles but is does a lot of thoughtful, caring acts. Enjoys spending the money earned in a part time job.

Youngest is generally sunny and laid-back, but when upset shuts down completely and dramatically. Has a close-knit mixed gender friendship group that that has lasted (with new additions) since primary school. Likes anime, gaming, animals and sport. Messy and disorganised (has possibly inherited my ADHD) and still gives good cuddles. Not really interested in buying things,

georgarina · 01/09/2022 07:45

Oh I understand. I knew my first was a boy before the scan, but I had only my favourite girls names picked (from childhood), wanted to buy beautiful girls clothes and toys and bond with her as she grew up.

But I couldn’t love my son any more. Yes, he is very boyish - all cars and guns and running around - but he’s the sweetest little thing, and you meet other boy mums and you just can’t imagine any different.

Try and think about it more as being excited to meet this baby who is completely unique and only yours. Gender is only one of a billion things.

Good luck x

Squiff70 · 01/09/2022 07:46

OP I have a 2 year old daughter and a 2 WEEK old son who is breastfeeding and giving me milky smiles as I type this. I am utterly besotted with them both. There's more to having a child than what is between their legs. It's preferential for a child to have both parents involved but only when circumstances allow (ie. in cases of abuse or potential abuse one non-abusive parent is better!).

You will adore your baby - just wait and see!

TokenGinger · 01/09/2022 08:15

I absolutely adore my DS. I'm now expecting a girl and my first thought was, "what do I do a with a girl?! What do they like?"

With DS, having a boy has quickly become all that I know. He's fantastic. He definitely needs his mummy more than his daddy - he's a really soft, cuddly, mummy's boy.

Hand on heart, if I had only him, or if this current pregnancy had been a boy, I wouldn't have felt like I've missed out on anything because he's so completely fulfilling in every way. I can't explain how incredibly special he is to me.

Frazzled2207 · 01/09/2022 08:20

I wanted a girl and got two boys.
honestly they’re amazing.
and are very loving towards their mum in a way I was never able to be towards my own mother (long and complicated story).

part of me wishes I had had a daughter. But I wouldn’t change anything about these two and I most definitely don’t want a third child.

foofington · 01/09/2022 08:22

I think boys need a role model if the father is absent.
I desperately wanted a girl and everyone saying the stereotypes blah blah well I did nothing other then 'gender neutral' things with my dd ie didn't dress her in pink I was raised by an engineer father who had zero girl/boy expectations I was expected to fix my own car same as my brother so it wasn't because of that it was like you OP because I was terrified that I would have no idea about a boy, the stereotypes for me started in school, dd coming home wanting only princess/pink/purple stuff. It was annoying but it wasn't in my control when she just wanted to fit with her friends. So I actually think most people do have a stage at least of stereotypical boy girl 'stuff' in their household.

Anyway, my friend who struggled with her fertility desperately wanted a girl and after 5 years she finally fell pregnant and jokingly said let's face it I've been so unlucky I'm going to have a boy. She ended up with boy boy twins and they are literally the apple of her eye. She is very happy. You will love your baby come what may!

HailAdrian · 01/09/2022 08:23

Boys are awesome.