Messiest gift your child has ever been given pls

[ReluctantCourier]

For an 8yo who helpfully loves arts and crafts.

Received a snide comment about my home at a family bbq and wish to discreetly send the giver my fondest regards whilst winning their child’s affections!

You can get a type of moon sand you use underwater

If you want slow-burning resentment rather than mess get sea monkeys the most frustrating waste of money ever invented

My SIL has 5 year old twins and I remember hearing her swear a lot as they opened yet another gift of kinetic sand!
I've only known her let them play with it outside in the garden, never in the house!

Make your own perfume kit it smells it spills it stains

Loving this thread.

Whatever you send, make sure it’s packaged in those bastard tiny polystyrene round packaging chips, and that the parcel is addressed to the child (not mother), so the kid rips into it and scatters them everywhere. I still regularly find chips from a memorable Christmas 12 years ago.

Hahaha...

1. Recorder

2. Whistle

3. Tin whistle

4. A beginners violin! 😁 - I can vouch for this, in untrained hands even wallpaper may curl.

Thank you so much for this thread, my youngest is nearly out her teens and I have cried with laughter with your tales of woe and realise I got off lightly!!

Slime ruined 3 duvet covers, 2 of which occurred after I banned it from the house!

The revenge gift I gave was a magic set for my nephew so my brother and SIL had to endure repeated requests to ‘pick a card, any card’ after years of crappy gifts for my 2DC

See, I wouldn’t mind that because I could be sitting on the sofa with half an eye on the TV. Much better than being press-ganged into the tedium of some interminable crafting.

Hopefully the OP knows her victim well enough to choose the most appropriate form of parental torture.

Face paint? Messy whilst doing and when they’re rolling around on the floor and sofa after.

crayola spray marker thingy? Like a little spray paint gun.

A glitter tattoo set. Gets glitter everywhere and takes ages to scrub off child’s arms for school the next day.

Loving the potter’s wheel idea- I know from an evening class how the ‘Ghost’ fantasy is actually a lot of actual mud, let’s face it, flicking around!

and sequin blow pens ffs?! Who hates parents that much?!

We took a joke book on a flight once and that was the longest 3 hours of my life by far oh dear god.

I think I’m choosing mess as my weapon- a potters wheel with some Gelli baff, a slime kit and glitter something would be something from each of the kids and us and covers so much ground…

@MissLucyEyelesbarrow I do grant you that being endlessly harangued to ‘help’ make a friendship bracelet etc etc is also delightful torture

Make sure you choose one with the fine glitter in today ds wore his mask it had glitter on it the glitter was from 6 years ago? We are still finding that shit

@Irridescantshimmmer missed off the kazoo. Its the perfect gift, 10 minutes of furious bees and then a stream of dribble comes out the end.

Amazon have a combined Gelli baff and slime bumper pack...also has some weird shitty rock things that dye your bath green 😑

Second vote for sea monkeys. We were bought these one Christmas and the buggers just kept breeding in the little pot thing, seemed to mutate and would not die. Ds was also recently gifted an ANT FARM. I wish I was joking. Luckily he is very young so it was swiftly removed from eye line. My ILs hate me in case you can't tell.

@Worriedandconfused23 child in question is desperate for a pet…! Tho would hate to start some mad arms race that ends up with up opening the door to a pony 🤔

Moonsand

kinetic rock. 100% this stuff

Hams beads

@ReluctantCourier honestly I think I might have preferred a pony. All I could picture was the ant infestation that would soon be living in my home. Funnily enough the gifter of said ant farm also likes to make snooty comments about our home while watching her visiting dc slowly cause mayhem in it. I sent them nerf guns for a recent birthday.

What about those use a tiny wooden hammer to break through a big egg and find a fossil kits? They take ages, plus the dust goes everywhere 😂😂

Bubble machine. The fucking worst, sticky water everywhere!!!

Tie dye kit 🙈

math I ‘know‘ you of old (tho I’m more of a lurker rather than a poster)

ive always thought of you as wise and knowledgeable…

it appears you are also fookin evil.
how wonderful :)

My daughter had a gem book where you stick teeny tiny gems to make a big overall picture.... bloody awful!

A child's diamond painting kit? Umpteen billion tiny rhinestones?