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Original poster

Do you send you in laws wedding anniversary cards?

68 replies

Gallant282 · 26/08/2022 10:59

Every year my MIL has a tantrum over lack of anniversary cards. FIL always gives her one plus a gift but I must admit that we (DH and I) frequently forget. My parents don't bother much with theirs (they exchange cards but don't expect others to send them). We have celebrated/marked the big ones with both sets of parents.

I dont understand why it bothers her so much. We weren't alive when they got married. DH and I gave been married 20 years and only receive cards off eachother and MIL.

Should I make more of an effort to remember or ISBU?

OP posts:

AnnaFri · 26/08/2022 11:01

Of course

I do the same for friends as well on their wedding anniversaries

Gooseysgirl · 26/08/2022 11:02

No - only for milestone ones. We send texts instead.

abovedecknotbelow · 26/08/2022 11:02

No apart from 'big' ones. I barely remember to get one for my husband.

MIL gets us one, I find it a bit odd.

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Penguinfeather781 · 26/08/2022 11:09

No. I only know what month it falls in anyway not the actual date, same with my parents. I can barely remember birthdays, I’m not getting into remembering wedding anniversaries too. It’s just between the couple as far as I’m concerned.

Burgerqueenbee · 26/08/2022 11:10

No I don't, or for my own parents either - I also would not expect my dc to get one for us, personally think it is a bit weird to get them for your parents.

BlueRidge · 26/08/2022 11:14

Good Lord, no!
Frequently forget my own.

QuietYou · 26/08/2022 11:14

I don't always get DH a card.
We have bought cards and gifts for parents for the big ones. Although I wouldn't necessarily know when they are, usually there's a hint from them or they're having a party.

MassiveSalad22 · 26/08/2022 11:15

Er, no. I have no idea when they even got married. They don’t get us one and I wouldn’t expect it. I’m always surprised when my mum gets us one.

GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut · 26/08/2022 11:16

No. I think it's between the couple.

DPs regularly forget their own, and only remember when the card from DGM turns up! It's the only card they've ever recieved apart from ones from each other (if they remember!)

Valid8me · 26/08/2022 11:18

Nope. I don't send anybody one unless its a big one, 25/40/50 years or something and even then, only if they mentioned it otherwise I wouldn't even know when it was.

InDubiousBattle · 26/08/2022 11:19

I never have, I couldn't tell you when other people's anniversaries are except for one family member and that's only because they got married on my birthday!

Beamur · 26/08/2022 11:20

I don't even know when their anniversary was! DH has never marked it either.

QueSyrahSyrah · 26/08/2022 11:22

Unless it was a big one then no. I'd find it very odd to receive a wedding anniversary card from anyone other than DH.

Isthisjustnormal · 26/08/2022 11:23

I don’t - but Dh does send one to his PIL because it means loads to his mum. If it matters to your dhs mum, why doesn’t he just add it to his calendar and moon pig a card? Not your job, his…

GiftIdeasAlwaysNeeded · 26/08/2022 11:24

I send my DP a card and flowers every anniversary.

DH's parents are separated so obviously we don't, but would if they were together.

We usually receive a card from MIL, and a card/bottle/chocolate from my parents on our anniversary.

Isthisjustnormal · 26/08/2022 11:24

Mil always sends us an anniversary card too, btw - as so other of dhs family. It would be weird in my family but it is normal in his….

SlowingDownAndDown · 26/08/2022 11:25

It’s odd but not a massive demand. I suppose it depends whether she’s generally unreasonable, and whether your husband is over dependent on you to remember his family’s birthdays.

Tryingtokeepgoing · 26/08/2022 11:26

Anniversaries are only really important to the couple themselves, surely? Other than milestone anniversaries, which would be marked by the couple themselves organising a party which might prompt me to get a card, I’ve never sent an anniversary card to anyone, and even when my husband was alive we only got wedding anniversary cards at the one year mark! Seems a very strange thing to both expect and be upset about when no one does!

wtfisgoingonhere21 · 26/08/2022 11:27

No I don't get in laws or parents anniversary cards.
They get a happy anniversary text

Me and my mum have actually had many words over this over the years as she likes to make a massive fuss about theirs every year and I don't get it.

Last year I put my foot down and told her it's their anniversary so as long as they do something nice together etc that's what matters.

I find it odd that everyone's expected to do cards and flowers for everyone's wedding anniversary.

Obviously a big one is different.

Whataretheodds · 26/08/2022 11:28

I don't swnd anniversary carss for anyone else's weddings. I don't know what's going on with them.

I think it comes from thinking how ridiculous it was for my parents to receive a card for a marriage that involved so much screaming.

If they chose to throw a party/invite people to celebrate with them then i would take a card/present, but only because they initiated the celebration.

Isthisreasonable · 26/08/2022 11:28

No it's just between the couple.

Alldelicious · 26/08/2022 11:30

I send them to my parents. My mum doesn't ask for much and gives loads and she really appreciates a card, so I send them, even though I think it's a bit of a nonsense.

QueenofLouisiana · 26/08/2022 11:31

Yes, we do. Such things are considered very important by DH's family and we get cards from his aunts and uncles on our anniversary. One year we got the date wrong- we were forgiven only because I was overdue with DS and we were a little distracted to say the least.

Sunshine9356 · 26/08/2022 11:37

No but surely it would be for your OH to arrange anyway.

Original poster

Gallant282 · 26/08/2022 11:40

Thanks everyone, so that's mostly a no.

It's odd really because they're not even happily married. FIL is constantly in the dog house for one thing or another.

We have so many birthdays to remember. DH is 1 of 4 and I'm 1 of 3, all with multiple nieces and nephews to remember. I just can't keep with wedding anniversaries as well.

It also falls during the summer holidays when we're very often away which is another reason why we end up missing it.

OP posts:

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