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Original poster

Do you send you in laws wedding anniversary cards?

68 replies

Gallant282 · 26/08/2022 10:59

Every year my MIL has a tantrum over lack of anniversary cards. FIL always gives her one plus a gift but I must admit that we (DH and I) frequently forget. My parents don't bother much with theirs (they exchange cards but don't expect others to send them). We have celebrated/marked the big ones with both sets of parents.

I dont understand why it bothers her so much. We weren't alive when they got married. DH and I gave been married 20 years and only receive cards off eachother and MIL.

Should I make more of an effort to remember or ISBU?

OP posts:

Original poster

Gallant282 · 26/08/2022 11:41

Sunshine9356 · 26/08/2022 11:37

No but surely it would be for your OH to arrange anyway.

Yes, he does his side of the family and I do mine but I still cop the flack off MIL.

OP posts:

Phos · 26/08/2022 11:44

I don't even know when their anniversary is. I have enough trouble remembering my own.

DappledThings · 26/08/2022 11:49

Nope. It's weird to send anyone an anniversary card other than your own spouse.

Interested in this thread?

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Events & celebrations

ReginaFilange001 · 26/08/2022 11:50

No I don't. I've never got one for my parents

Me and dh barely remember to get each other one it's not important to us.

I've never bought one for any other family members (in laws or siblings)

Malariahilaria · 26/08/2022 11:51

Definitely not the done thing in this house. MIL does send us a card every year but i think thats odd. She also sends easter cards and new years cards so I think she just likes sending cards. She doesn't demand i do anything tho, that's totally childish.

Drivebye · 26/08/2022 11:51

No because they are DH parents and it's up to him. He would never think to get my parents a card. In fact he never sends any cards to his family which is quite sad imo and reflect a poorly on him as a person.

Timetogetup123 · 26/08/2022 11:52

No. Not necessary and at a push ,it's absolutely NOT your job but if they insist, it should be your DHs job, you are not his secretary.

Drivebye · 26/08/2022 11:53

Sounds like you do all the cards and it's too much. Why don't you get him to do bus side if the family, job done.

Lunabun · 26/08/2022 11:54

Never sent or even congratulated anyone's anniversary until very recently...

When me and my husband celebrated our first wedding anniversary last year, I was so surprised to receive cards and gifts from many people. I mentioned it to my mother - she told me that it's the norm, but that I probably would never have realised this since my own mother refused to celebrate anyone else's anniversary because she was divorced and wouldn't get to celebrate one herself 🤣

So now I do send cards, yes!

Original poster

Gallant282 · 26/08/2022 12:08

Drivebye · 26/08/2022 11:53

Sounds like you do all the cards and it's too much. Why don't you get him to do bus side if the family, job done.

See previous post, we do already do that.

OP posts:

pumpkinpie01 · 26/08/2022 12:09

God no - have a job to remember my own tbh

Cas112 · 26/08/2022 12:37

No, how weird

Rowen32 · 26/08/2022 12:45

This drives me bananas!! The only ones that need to celebrate their wedding anniversary are the couple! Bar big ones which are special..
I would leave it up to your husband..
If ye decide not to send one then tell her going forward that's how it's going to be and she doesn't need to send you one either :-)

TPL · 26/08/2022 12:46

My DP's mum is obsessed with cards. She gets extremely annoyed when not sent one. We get her and DP's dad an anniversary card every year. We do this just for an easy life. Sometimes it is best just to do these things then cop the flack you will get for not doing it. I see it in a similar way to giving a child a packet of sweets to keep them quiet.

TeacupDrama · 26/08/2022 12:48

except for our own wedding it is 25/40/50/60 only my sister just had 25 years my parents had 50 a few years ago

mydogisthebest · 26/08/2022 12:57

When my parents were alive I sent them an anniversary card every year as did both my siblings. On big ones we all bought a joint gift.

I send cards to both my siblings and this year, as they both celebrated 40 years of marriage, I bought them a gift.

I also send cards to my 2 nieces that are married and they send one to us.

Me and DH give each other a card and have done since we married 42 years ago and always receive a card from my siblings. We always got a card from my parents too.

We also always sent a card to DH's parents and they sent one to us.

Ponderingwindow · 26/08/2022 12:59

I’ve always thought of anniversary celebrations as primarily between just the spouses. The exceptions would be big milestones like 25 or 50 years where sometimes there are parties.

LittleLlama · 26/08/2022 13:04

We don’t send Wedding Anniversary cards to anyone (that includes each other). We don’t do valentines cards either.

Fortunately everyone I know seems to feel the same.

DappledThings · 26/08/2022 13:06

Quite a few posters seem to maintain that it's not normal to buy for anyone other than your partner but, if that is the case, why do card shops sell so many anniversary card? They have lots of general ones but also ones to mum and dad, sister and brother in law, brother and sister in law, daughter, son etc.
So they can encourage you to spend your money of course! The cards are created, which then creates a demand for them as people buy into it. The demand didn't create the cards in the first place.

DelurkingAJ · 26/08/2022 13:08

No, nor do we receive them. Frankly, this year, DH remembered to say ‘Happy Anniversary for tomorrow ’ to me and I managed ‘Happy Anniversary for yesterday’ but we both forgot on the day. And are very happily married!

SirChenjins · 26/08/2022 13:10

No - unless it's a big anniversary and there's a party that I'm invited to then I never send anniversary cards. I couldn't tell you when any of my friends ore relatives got married, it's not something I'm interested in and don't expect them to be interested in our wedding anniversary.

startfresh · 26/08/2022 13:28

No, I would find it strange. But I think they're just for couples to give to each other.

BlancmanegeBunny · 26/08/2022 13:34

Only for milestone anniversaries! Me and dh don't get each other cards.

LateSummerLobelia · 26/08/2022 14:24

No! Maybe for a milestone one.

My parents anniversary is the same day as the birthday of one of my DCs so i clearly remember it. I say happy Anniversary to them on that day, but that's it. My parents have never remembered the date of my anniversay so don't get that back. The Ils are deceased but no, absolutely not. Nor did they recall our date, or indeed did they ever recall the date of my birthday! I can quite honestly say none of that ever bothered me. i got on great with them and my FIL would give me a couple of hundred pounds every Christmas as a gift with the instruction that it was just for me to treat myself so it was never an indication of a lack of fondness / love. Just a lack of other people's wedding dates are not really noteworthy I think.

AuntieStella · 26/08/2022 14:28

Only for their Golden and their Diamond.

If annual card giving is their family norm, then it's a job for DH, isn't it?

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