Do you send you in laws wedding anniversary cards?

[Gallant282]

Every year my MIL has a tantrum over lack of anniversary cards. FIL always gives her one plus a gift but I must admit that we (DH and I) frequently forget. My parents don't bother much with theirs (they exchange cards but don't expect others to send them). We have celebrated/marked the big ones with both sets of parents.

I dont understand why it bothers her so much. We weren't alive when they got married. DH and I gave been married 20 years and only receive cards off eachother and MIL.

Should I make more of an effort to remember or ISBU?

Definitely not! shudders

I have to admit to asking my - adult - children (nicely and slightly apologetically) if they would give us cards for our 25th Wedding Anniversary - we couldn't afford a celebration - as I really wanted some small memento and acknowledgement that we had survived so far 😄 and I didn't want to drop massive hints as I think that is a bit naff! They gave us some lovely cards and some lovely presents as well, which I wasn't expecting, which just made it nicely special.

Since then my DH and I haven't even given each other cards - when you both start feeling that finding an attractive picture with appropriate words inside is becoming a bit of a chore, when you already know that you love each other, then it seems like it is time to stop with the commercial side of it!

Well if no-one is buying them then the card shops would not be selling them would they?

They don't just have one or two either, they have a large selection of general ones and ones to specific family.

I think many many people do send them.

A lot of posters here say they don't even send them to their OH's and yet just about everyone I know celebrates their wedding anniversary and sends a card to their OH.

It's a boomer thing, and a dying art. Thank goodness!

Definitely not! I didn't for my parents either.

Whilst you may wish to join a celebration for Silver, Golden or Ruby weddings (or Diamond or even longer), other anniversaries should be between the couple only, in my view.

Why "thank goodness"? Surely doesn't matter to you whether people send cards or not

Not sure it is a dying art anyway. My nieces send cards and they are aged from 18 to 30.

That's your view and your are entitled to it but it is certainly not everyone's view

Respond as you wish to maintain. With a little 1 and DH and I working full time, we dont have the bandwidth to remember to send cards. We've offended MILbecause of this, but, keep in mind both are retired living relatively comfortable life (well MIL never worked) so I guess retired housewife, so they have all the time in the world to mull over this stuff. DH has specifically instructed me not to stress over cards and gifts, because the year we can't do it, we've had it

My DPs family get funny about it. They also all send each other £20. God help them if they don't. I don't understand it myself, especially now with the cost of living!

I send everyone a 1st anniversary card, or the traditional milestone anniversary card such as silver, golden etc. None of the silly 10ths, 20ths etc and I would only be able to send if they have mentioned it, as otherwise I wouldn't know it was a big anniversary! I wouldn't send for any other anniversary.

If MIL was upset I would just plainly say I never expect anniversary cards and never send them and then leave it at that. If your dh wants to send his mum an anniversary card that is up to him to do.

My side of the family are much more about cards than DH’s. We do exchange anniversary cards with my parents. I also exchange cards with my siblings My parents paid for my wedding flowers so my DM likes to give me similar flowers but on a smaller scale for our anniversary. I always got my parents a gift. Now DF has died I usually get my mum a little token plant in memory (obviously don’t do a card)
Send a text to FIL on his wedding anniversary (remarried since divorced MIL). They do similar for us. But no cards or gifts

No but they send us one which I find a bit ott.

There's enough to remember with birthdays etc without having to remember the date that everyone in the family got married as well 😫

I know my parents never acknowledged their anniversary, at least in front of me or my sister, because it would be admitting that they married six months after my older sister was born. My parents had a bit of shame about it and kept that hidden.

My in-laws, on the other hand, married in October and had my husband six months later. They did mention feeling a little shameful at the time but they owned it and always traveled on a holiday or at least a short break for their anniversary.

Anyways, I don't think I've ever given an anniversary card to my husband. We will have a great meal out but that is about it.

As for friends or family, I mention it to them by text, social media or give them a quick call.

I will say that I was really strangely upset when I found out my MIL has always sent my BIL and his wife an anniversary card. In fact, she even ordered gifts monogrammed with their names and wedding date throughout their marriage. I suppose I felt slighted because we've been married only seven months less than them. It shouldn't bother me but it did. I mentioned it to my husband's sister and the anniversary cards started showing up. Now, I want them to stop. There's no pleasing me 🙈

No it isn't. I'm a boomer and we didn't even remember our own anniversaries. And none of our save age siblings did the anniversary card thing either.

Some people are card people, some aren't. My DD, early 30s will send a card to anyone for the slightest of reasons.

Well yes, a lot of people have bought into the marketing and buy the cards the shops sell and a lot of us haven't. The shops will of course continue to bring out cards for all occasions to try and persuade people to buy them.

Nope. I couldn’t even tell you when their anniversaries were. I’m always surprised if we get cards on ours.

We celebrated my grandparent’s 50th wedding anniversary but that was a lovely celebration and special.