It has cost me over £200 to sign my toddler up for classes twice a week

[SpicyJalfrezi]

Then on top of that he has a weekly swimming lesson which is costly - £54 a month.

I know they aren’t compulsory and you don’t have to do them and some MNetters would rather gauge their own eyes out, etc. But it’s pretty sad that people who would like to do them won’t be able to if the cost is prohibitive.

£10/per hour (assuming a ten week term) is a lot of money if you don’t have it, but it’s a morning out, hopefully you’ll make friends etc etc.

Worth looking at your local independent schools. They often run toddler groups on mornings and don’t charge a fortune. My local one is £5 per family for a two hour session, inc coffee and biscuits.

Toddlers from less affluent homes can still learn and see things without the need to spend a fortune on classes.

Yes, it’s not fair OP. But it will be the same with lots of other things - holidays, hobbies, days out, activities, extra-curricular lessons, tutoring, private schools. It’s never going to be equal. Some families choose different priorities in their spending. Another toddler’s parents may prefer to put that £200 towards a weekend away. Some people might not have it to spare at all.

We used to have annual passes to things like zoo, science museum & go to city farms & museums which were free to visit. Aren't there any local attractions you can join where you can visit regularly for a one off cost?

Mine used to do gymnastics which was probably the most expensive thing they did. Even that was about £70 a term.

I'd be surprised if you had no cheap toddler groups in your area at all.

I pay less than £200 a term for my teenage daughter to do intensive musical theatre classes with masterclasses each time with West end stars! That's a ludicrous amount for a toddler!!

Babies/toddlers don't need 'classes'. They just need to be out and about observing and taking part in life.
This could be watching the buses come and go at the bus station or visiting the local ducks.
But really is there literally nothing low cost in your area? No Rhyme Time at a local library? No baby groups held at a church hall? Unless you live in a tiny village I find that unusual.

@Needmorelego

Even tiny villages have toddler groups in the church hall. It's actually cities that have toddler activities at £££

Toddlers can learn a lot just being in the garden or going for walks, by looking at insects and plants, smelling foliage (mint, lavender) seeing birds. provided someone is showing them and explaining to them.

How old is your LO OP?

Mines 1 and we do the following activities (not every day or week but when we can fit them it etc.

Park (free)
Go to friends house to play (free)
Swimming (£5)
Toddler club in the church hall (£1.50)
Play centre (3.50-5.00) sometimes up to £20 if we have lunch etc.
Baby movers class (4.50)

I always take drinks and snacks and try to time it so its just after lunch.

Classes are great but they tend to tie you down a little. I like to do PAYG then can meet with a friend one day or skip a class if they've overslept etc.

Forgot to mention the library!

They can @NewThisSummer , but what they don’t get (until free nursery hours kick in) is social interaction. I don’t necessarily mean in terms of lifelong bonds but they do need time out of the house, interaction with other adults and children and enrichment through play.

Of course, classes aren’t essential to that but they are a help. And if your child doesn’t attend nursery and if the only groups running are ones you just can’t afford, it’s going to take a lot of motivation to replicate that at home, especially if finances mean travel is also prohibitive.

a lot of things have closed, here at any rate, I accept I may have done that annoying thing of assuming that because it is like that here it is everywhere, but there is next to nothing free or cheap.

I'm not sure if some people are being particularly obtuse, or if they're just not understanding the OPs point? I don't believe the OP means to complain about the cost they've chosen to pay, rather it's being raised as yet another sign of how children from lower-income households are at a disadvantage.

Termly payments necessarily require a high up front cost. Perhaps those families could find the money weekly, but they may not be able to find the whole term up front: thus, the child misses out.

The OP is merely sympathising with the inequality this causes, not whining on their own account.

Park (free) sure, but once wet weather kicks in this isn’t an appealing option for either party. It also only kills around an hour max.

Go to friends house to play (free) yes

Swimming (£5) not here - the leisure centre is a lot more than that. We do have a family gym membership which we do use, but poorer people won’t have this optoon

Toddler club in the church hall (£1.50)
Play centre (3.50-5.00) sometimes up to £20 if we have lunch etc.
Baby movers class (4.50)

we don’t have these sort of low cost activities here. Everything there was has stopped. There is one toddler group I know of locally which is £2, but that is on a day when I work - a shame, but of course it will be helpful to others. However, I have seen it is struggling as well.

Im not starting the thread looking for suggestions for us personally, I’m just thinking aloud about how unfair life is. It is true that the playground and friends houses are free and available, but life with very small children can be isolating and restrictive for both parties and poorer people often feel this most. Ideally, things like cheap sessions at the library or community centres should be available to all.

You are right @PollyEsther

there have perhaps been a couple of genuine misunderstandings but unfortunately you are correct and the AIBU ‘tude does seem to have permeated through MN generally, which is a pity.

I’m guessing at that price the person running the classes does it as their job & will probably have overheads to cover from that money.

I never understand the 'they won't remember' argument. There is so much benefit to be had from toddler groups and experiencing new things with little ones. Although it's not all about learning, it definitely aids development - which won't be forgotten, just built upon. Also, they may not have vivid memories before the age of 6 but they remember feelings and form attachments which play a huge part of their core beliefs and sense of security. Spending time with your children in meaningful, fun and loving ways from birth helps to set strong foundations that can shape their entire future.

And yes I do also agree that they are expensive! Our family has hit a point now where we can't sign up to everything that we used to.

@SpicyJalfrezi How long is a term for £100?

I do a toddler music/dance class once a week and that's £40 for a 5 week term (so £8 a class)

As well as that she has her swimming lesson once a week, but that includes free soft play entry afterwards.

I haven't rtft but you choose what you pay for, surely you could take her to play parks to meet other kids her own age or start a local meet up on your local fb group for parents in the same position, kids can play together, adults can enjoy a drink and a chat?
We started something similar during lockdown when you were allowed to meet up with another person and I think there's about 20 of us, with kids of varying ages someone will just say "any one fancy the park/local soft play tomorrow?" And there's almost always some one up for it

Agree prices are crazy.

It's £9.40 to take my 3 year old to local pool for a 45 min session. I find this extortionate.

Soft play is £12

Where are you op?

We have a zoo membership which is money well spent for us

Toddler classes really aren’t a ‘must’ in any way. Plenty of people who can afford them still don’t bother. People who can’t afford them are still more than able to provide their LOs with enrichment in plenty of other, probably better ways in all honesty. I would never have splashed that kind of money on ‘classes’.
I sense this is also more of a PFB issue. Most parents who have older kids who want to play football, do gymnastics, learn an instrument or whatever - classes that they will truly benefit from and are worth the cash - don’t waste their money on classes for the 1 or 2 year old siblings who are just as happy pottering around the local play park for free as they are at overpriced ‘tiny tots toddler trapeze and trampolining’ or whatever it is you’ve signed up for.

I pay around £15 a week for my toddlers' two sessions (gymnastics and moo music).

@BeanieTeen A lot of what you do at toddler classes you can do at home. For us it's more an excuse to force us out of the house and get out and about, and ties nicely with food shopping etc.

If we were struggling financially though I wouldn't hesitate to drop them.

I’m not being belligerent about the cost, @MsSquiz , which is pretty clear to be honest. I’m not trying to sound like an arse, but there’s really very little to be gained from endlessly repeating myself, especially if people aren’t reading the answers!

Toddler groups get us both out of the house, mean DS can use up some of his pent up energy leaping around to Sleeping Bunnies while I don’t feel an idiot as everyone else is doing it, get me smiling and chatting with other parents and I even get a cup of coffee made by someone else. I don’t mind paying.

But it doesn’t change the fact that not everyone can. So you do wonder … or I do … in ten years time, what are the differences?

Child A can swim, has nice teeth, has had experience in their early years learning songs and stories alongside other children. Child B can’t swim, can’t see a dentist and spent their toddler years doing not much. Now I realise good parenting can address child B to a point and all respect to those parents, but it is so much harder than it should be.

Why can't B see a dentist? You've lost me there.

What does your toddler do while you work? Nursery?

They will get a lot of learning experiences there.

The poorest families get free hours from 2yo for this reason.