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Original poster

Found drugs DS15 - how do I tackle it?

81 replies

worriesoftheworld · 21/08/2022 07:56

I’m really disappointed & upset. My ds is at a friend’s house and I was washing his clothes. Something fell out of his hoody. It is a wallet with a small grinder & the remains of weed.

I am going to collect him later and thought I would broach it in the car. It will be hard for me not to fly off the handle. I hate that I can’t trust him any more. Ex and I thought we were doing a reasonably good job. We were going to give him an allowance every month but now I feel I can’t, He has been selling his things on debop etc and now I’m concerned the money has been going on drugs.

He is at boarding school. I don’t think he would dare dabble at school but I will discuss this with someone there in September. I’m so concerned. My ex, unfortunately, is passive about things. We have them 50:50. I’ve suggested he becomes more engaged because it feels as though a lot of stuff goes untracked when the dcs are under his watch.

Please could someone advise on how to tackle this? My ds and I have a pretty good relationship on the whole.

OP posts:
Hanstarlucky · 22/08/2022 21:46

worriesoftheworld · 21/08/2022 07:56

I’m really disappointed & upset. My ds is at a friend’s house and I was washing his clothes. Something fell out of his hoody. It is a wallet with a small grinder & the remains of weed.

I am going to collect him later and thought I would broach it in the car. It will be hard for me not to fly off the handle. I hate that I can’t trust him any more. Ex and I thought we were doing a reasonably good job. We were going to give him an allowance every month but now I feel I can’t, He has been selling his things on debop etc and now I’m concerned the money has been going on drugs.

He is at boarding school. I don’t think he would dare dabble at school but I will discuss this with someone there in September. I’m so concerned. My ex, unfortunately, is passive about things. We have them 50:50. I’ve suggested he becomes more engaged because it feels as though a lot of stuff goes untracked when the dcs are under his watch.

Please could someone advise on how to tackle this? My ds and I have a pretty good relationship on the whole.

when my dad caught me trying a cigarette when I was sixteen (I don’t smoke by the way) he didn’t shout and scream he calmly said “I thought you would be more sensible than that” and it’s stuck with me in to adult years, the thought that I had disappointed him was way more effective than if I had been shouted at

im not in anyway suggesting that weed is not a big deal but it would have been worse if you had found coke or other class As that is a serious addiction and a different high.

DesertOrchi · 24/08/2022 07:06

I forecast that the murder of the child in Liverpool will be drugs related i.e the gunman and the adult victims will be involved in the supply of illegal drugs.
Anyone on here now ready to defend weak/no action against cannabis users?

YoSofi · 24/08/2022 08:01

DesertOrchi · 24/08/2022 07:06

I forecast that the murder of the child in Liverpool will be drugs related i.e the gunman and the adult victims will be involved in the supply of illegal drugs.
Anyone on here now ready to defend weak/no action against cannabis users?

It absolutely will be.

I can’t defend cannabis use, I worked with vulnerable children who had been involved in county lines. A 14 year old girl who had been asked to sell weed to work off a debt, except obviously the debt kept going up so she ended up selling crack and being gang raped by dealers.

I’m pleased your son isn’t deeply involved and it does sound like he just tried it, which is normal at his age, but people should not under estimate the absolute horror in the chain that comes with drugs, even “just a bit of weed”.

Hanstarlucky · 24/08/2022 10:36

Crinkle77 · 21/08/2022 22:49

Seriously, you don't think alcohol is a threat to our society? Alcohol kills thousands every year not to mention the thousands more who are dependent on it. Then there's alcohol related accidents and violence.

Show quote history

I hundred percent agree with your comments Crinkle 77

DesertOrchi · 24/08/2022 10:44

But there are no "county lines" for alcohol (or tobacco) !!!!

Hanstarlucky · 24/08/2022 10:49

Tinytinseltown · 21/08/2022 16:08

I think there’s some very unhelpful comments here OP - don’t listen to any of the preachy lot who tell you to go nuclear, it won’t help at all. Most teenage boys (and girls) are going to be exposed to drugs at some point, and a close knit environment like boarding school even more so. It doesn’t sound like it’s affected his school attainment, personal relationships or anything else or you’d have noticed.

By all means talk to him about the supply chain and whatnot, I think that’s fair, but it’s totally unrealistic to think they’ll never see or touch drugs (or other things that are bad for them) due to a stern talking to. I went to a grammar (not the same as boarding I appreciate, but similar attitudes) and everyone was drinking, smoking weed and getting off with each other from about 13. Not to say it was all rosy, but kids experiment, and it’s better if the parents accommodate (reasonably) so it’s done safely. If you go mad at him, he’ll just do it behind your back - they’re crafty, as were we at that age. All those I’m still in touch with are all in well paid jobs, stable relationships, happy kids (those that have them).

Honestly appalled by the ‘lock them up and throw away the key brigade’ here. It’s so unrealistic and hypocritical - guarantee the majority of MM have smoked weed and drank as teens, and many many more will have enjoyed MDMA and Coke in their 20s and beyond. Some people can have problems with drugs. Some can have problems with alcohol. Some can have problems with sex. Your kid sounds fine.

i have to agree with your comments. Going nuclear might not have the outcome the OP wants. Also if OP does talk to her child about drug chains please do the research first before diving straight in

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