Nice well brought up women don’t end up single mums, apparently

[reaflSale]

Overheard my auntie saying this to a friend before I met her for coffee. I didn’t stay. I’m recently single after DP left. I didn’t want it to end I never wanted to be a single parent. I feel horrendous as it is without being looked at like some difficult woman.

Just wanted to vent as I feel so shit and unhappy. I’ve obviously let my very middle class family down by this mess in my life.

Ah, that's sh*t OP. Lots of didn't want to be single parents, and I want to fight anyone that starts on about this.

Lots of us.

Being a single mum is nearly always a reflection of the behavour of the father, not the mother.

That is true in pretty much all cases I know personally @DenholmElliot1

Perhaps you need to tell her that nice well- brought up men shouldn’t leave their wives and children for their affair partners. Yet they do. Every second of every day.

I beg to differ, OP. I think your very middle class family are letting YOU down. People are single parents for many reasons. We can't mitigate against death, people leaving when you don't want them to, and other situations that the crystal ball of life did not reveal when we initially decided to have children. Your auntie sounds smug and unhelpful. Be good to yourself, and surround yourself with people who are more supportive. You've got this, and you will get through it. Sending hugs x

Did you pull her up on her frankly ridiculous and antiquated views?
You haven’t let anybody down, ignore this rubbish.

Ime if i had had a better upbringing maybe my choices would have included a better incite to choosing a better dp /df of my dc.

So imo maybe a touch of truth in what she said.

So don't take it as a personal insult op but maybe she should be looking at the wider picture.

IE your dps /dgps.

@DenholmElliot1 - well said! Too true.

oh I'd be calling her on that one very loudly and in public.

Good god
send her to me and I'll set her straight.

FWIW I do think people say a lot of stuff they don't mean, but it's incredibly damaging and I don't even understand where the thought process is on that one.

My DM holds some rather odd views. Arguing with her about them is pointless.
'Never wrestle with a pig. You both get dirty, and the pig enjoys it'.

Nice well brought up women don't put up with shitty behaviour from men.

@DenholmElliot1 : absolutely correct

wow nice auntie, horrible

'Nice well brought up women like me are too polite to make a big scene but, Aunty, if you ever say anything like that in front of me or my child again it'll be the last time you see us. I won't have my child around such an unpleasant, unkind person.'

I also agree nice well brought up women don't accept shitty behaviour from men.

Nice aunties don’t badmouth their nieces. What a nasty woman. 💐

Nice, well brought up women don’t put up with crappy men.

Nice, well brought up women are capable of taking care of themselves and their children.

No need for you to feel bad just ignore it x

Well, you obviously know what she said was nonsense. Try not to let it bother you. No-one with any sense thinks like that.

Wow, what a crap auntie :( Hope the rest of your family is nicer OP!

I'd rather not be a well brought up women if that means I'd have to stay with a man I didn't love or in your case have a shitty dh/dp.

If being a door mat with no sense of self worth is an entry criteria for being a well brought up women then I don't want in and neither should you op

💐 for you op

I don't suppose my friend wanted to be a single mum with three kids.

But then she didn't want to be widowed either, did she?

Your aunt is chatting rubbish as I'm sure you know!