How do you people respond to demands that are said rudely?

[curiousitygotthebetterofme]

Just the other day, I was sitting at my desk in work and one of my bosses was also sitting at hers. She wanted to me to come over and sign a bit of paperwork, so she turned round to face my direction and said “come here, Susan”

I would have preferred her to say “Susan, would you mind coming over here please” rather than just demanding I come over.

I really felt like saying “oh, were you talking to me? You didn’t say please” but then there were others in the room and id actually feel like the rude one when really she should be the one feeling rude.

I also have a colleague who would say stuff like “put that in the bin for me” with no please or thanks and I just do it like I’m some sort of lapdog there at their beck and call.

Is there a more appropriate way to respond to such rudeness? Or should I just put up with it? Really don’t want to have to do that though. I wouldn’t dream of being so rude and if I was unintentionally rude, I’d correct myself .

I would agree with you on your second point if it was just a one off, unfortunately this particular manager has a bad habit of barely speaking to people when she’s in a ‘mood’ and is renowned for being odd.

Object to it once, regardless of whether the person is younger, older, in a more or less senior position. The 'excuse me' response as if you did not hear the first time might bring the desired politeness, if not then you should request good manners.

“You have forgotten the magic word!”

Just respond... Oh I would be absolutely delighted to!!

I hope you're a minion and not a manager with that attitude.

I wonder how long some of the posters on this thread would last in the military?

I wouldn't. Hence why I didn't choose that career path.

Not very long, I wouldn't put up with being shouted at, I can't climb those rope wall things and camo khaki is really not my colour.

It can be very funny watching ex military people trying to cope with not being instantly obeyed...having to get by on the warmth and intelligence of their personality rather than the stripes or pips...some of them are truly fucked ...hahaha

We had quite a few ex-military people where I used to to work and they actually all sort of mentored each other as they adjusted to a more ‘normal’ working environment. It’s a very different culture! They were all nice (and very polite), but I think some of them found the change pretty challenging at first.

If it’s a one off, or done very rarely, I would assume that person is on the middle of something stressful and just give them the benefit of the doubt. However if that person is just downright rude I would say “Excise me, I didn’t catch that”.

*Excuse

I’d have said, with a big cheery smile, ‘Certainly, since you asked so nicely’. Big beam.

I’d have said, with a big cheery smile, ‘Certainly, since you asked so nicely’. Big beam

This I think is a brilliant response. I'd have had to say something but wasn't sure what.

Insubordination??? Lol. Are you one of those types who longs for the olden days, @blacksax

Here's a nice poster to put up on the wall in your office OP...

I'd try to kill them with kindness, in the hope it embarrasses them.

When someone says 'come here'

I'd say 'of course, I will come over to you right away, can I help you with anything' you need to get the sarcastic tone just right though x

I wouldn't try to come up with a clever retort, I'm not quick enough. If it isn't a one off I would ask for a meeting and be upfront about how their bad manners upset you.

No, they are not! Bosses/managers have to lead by example by being professional and polite that includes saying please and thank you. Employee are not dogs to be barked at. There’s no insubordination here. This boss clearly needs basic training on how to appropriately interact with others.

I can be unintentionally rude myself, so I get that. So I would let that go if the person was usually not rude.

But someone speaking to you like that consistently is an issue. If they're senior you could mention to their boss that their management style is inefficient given they speak to people rudely. Maybe they will be taken aside?

Something I like to do in the face of purposely rude people is be very polite back, not in a sarcastic way at all, just genuinely nice. It shows them up and you can see the change in them eventually, they realise how on show their rudeness is and begin pulling back and being overly nice. Oftentimes they start bending over backwards for you out of guilt, which is fun.

Drives me mad when people never say please and thank you. I have a friend who is very smiley and giggly so you don't kind of notice it at first. I have been wondering why her DCs are so rude and then I realised that she is too but she covers it up with smiles, giggles and friendliness.

In your case, OP, If this is one off, I would just ignore it. If the offender is always so rude, I think you should kill then with kindness as PP has suggested. If that doesn't work, you need you have a word.

The poster might help too!

"What's the magic word?"

lol loving some of the responses on here! They made me giggle.

May I add, this same boss also has a problem responding to my emails and MS teams messages even though I know she has seen them!

Recently I sent her two messages over a few weeks and she didn’t reply to either of them!

Totally irrelevant.
Never a good idea to comapere every job to the military.

Just reply "Please?" and no thats not rude, its completely acceptable and will make your colleague think twice.

As for the person that ignores you when in a bad mood (or just likes to keep people on their toes by doing this now and again), don't bother speaking to them unless they initatie it from now on. So if they say Good Morning you reply, otherwise you don't bother.