I know this is so spiteful but here goes…

[Tryoj]

I’ve had a shit few years. Work, heartbreak, abusive ex, abortion, single mum. It’s been hell. Meanwhile my siblings have happily got married and bought beautiful homes, friends have progressed etc

My life isn’t awful and I’m getting there now but would love to be on the other side for a change… will problems ever happen for these other people?! It’s not that I wish something awful on them but I just feel so left out and ostrichised sometimes. Like they don’t understand what it’s like to have challenges in any form. I know I sound horrible.

You don’t know what goes on behind closed doors 🙄. You might think other people have easy lovely lives but you might just know about the good stuff and none of the bad stuff. In the last 10 years: my dad died, my husband cheated on me with a “friend” of mine, subsequently l divorced him and he tried to rip me off financially (luckily by that point l knew about the financial abuse during the marriage and the emotional abuse was obvious). l have had skin cancer, covid twice (the first time very badly), a few failed cycles of IVF and still childless. The divorce and IVF set me back a lot financially so l typically work 6 days a week. It’s not been a walk in the park!

homelessness!

forgot that one

Death of parents/grandparents!

I feel the same OP and my heart goes out to you. I’m glad you started this thread as some of the replies have helped me and I hope they help you too.

same here 💐

@Somethingsnappy

Have a ODFOD yourself. You don't get to police responses of those who disagree with you. we are all human here.

I had so many years of sarcasm and pity that it just ground me down even more.

Is this at the heart of it OP? Not that they haven't/don't seem to have had any problems, but that instead of being supportive or just nice they've gone out of their way to rub your nose in your own misfortunes?

@Somethingsnappy, I have thanks.😘

Op is this it? Or is this your perception of it?

I ask because often our perception may not be reality and you also need to distinguish between where you were a victim versus the master of your own misfortune.

we have all witnessed friends who make continual bad life choices and won’t be told, blame others, then complain and there comes a point everyone gets sick of it. But we have also witnessed folks who just have a run of awful luck. Who really are victims. And they deserve Support and sympathy.

so determining the real situation here is important. Wishing Ill on your friends and family will never be a positive for you, and as said you need to work out how much of their good fortune is down to luck or good life choices and how much of yours is down to bad luck v poor life choices.

You aren’t being spiteful, you just need a break. My il’s keep inviting us on £400-5k days out and holidays and being completely insensitive to the fact I tend to get one day off every three weeks, if that. When I do see them they ignore me, boast about their big houses or give me a couple of very unsubtle “pity”comments. The funny thing is, I hang around with richer people in my city who don’t make me feel terrible about myself and also work hard and we get along great!

You don’t need anything terrible to happen to them, you need something good to happen to yourself. 💐❤️ From me, I hope things get a lot better for you in the near future.

I’ve been in situations where I was so depressed it only ended when I ended up in hospital. There was nothing I could do to stop it. The happiness of others WAS of help to me. At least there was some chance that I too would find happiness

I’ve since divorced, ended up in abusive relationships, trapped in a god forsaken hole of a country. I got out eventually after 3 years. Out of the relationship a year later

I tried to get myself back up on my feet again but then found myself in a situation where I didn’t even know how I’d make it through to of pay day and still manage to get to work

I had nothing, was in a total mess. I’d made the mistake of trusting my sons dad, (the abusive ex) and spent the money he said he’d send for Christmas

but didn’t. for 3 months.

I got cash advances on credit cards. Promised myself it would be just the once, but of course it wasn’t

that was how deep a hole I was in.

then I met my oh. He’s mega rich and we’re happy as clams and made for each other

I know some of my friends resent that and it’s the saddest thing in the world to me.

if I was them looking at me, I’d know how much they’d suffered and I’d know how karma had to pay them back somehow.

I have super real friends that are pleased for me, but it’s the ones who aren’t that really hurt.

don’t be the bitter person. It taints you. Be happy for the happiness of others and it will give you the glow that attracts good things.

this peace and happiness I wish for you. It’s fucking great. You CAN achieve more, but not if you carry bitterness and resentment

<manly arm punch> come on @Tryoj you're better than that xx

Yep … can’t move past that 😳

This is happen to me.

and i’m the lucky sister.

my oldest sister is married with abusive husband and my youngest sister is depressed.

in my case. Its because i dont make bad choice. I put head first over everything. I think it through.

for example my sister really love her husband. She knows he got problem but still married him. On the other hand i love my ex but i decide to leave him because he is not good for me.

dont compare yourself. But do think about your choice in life. Sometime we have to think it through rather than use our feelings. Have you always try to do right choice in life??

I'm totally with you, it feels like it's always me sometimes. My sister died of cancer, my mum got diagnosed with dementia and my dd with autism all the while nothing like this ever seems to happen to friends and colleagues.

I think you’ve worded your post badly or at least I hope so. To answer your question about others having problems then yes I’m sure they will or already have but you may not know about them. I echo what someone said that’s you never know what’s happening behind closed doors. I do sincerely hope you have better luck and this is the end of your problems too. Please don’t feel so deflated x

You do sound horrible yes. Bad stuff happens to every single person. You have no idea about the state of other people's lives.

Like crap it does, some people are incredibly fortunate in life with nothing bad happening but carry on with your stupid cliches.

You really dont know what is going on in their lives.

Looking from the outside people may think I've got a perfect life, but the amount of crap going on.
I dont like to burden people with my.problems, so keep chat light.
I'm stressed, hate my job and currently got money worries- which should get sorted out. But the next few weeks especially are going to be tough.

And no my family aren't aware because I dont like broadcasting my problems.

So yeah, I'm not wishing problems on your family, but you really dont know whether they have issues just by looking from the outside.

I too have had an awful year.
But when someone I love has a win, it's a win for me too to be able to see them happy and thriving.
I can't fathom wishing misfortune on people I care about just so you don't feel "left out".
Horrible.

Me too!

Brilliant.

This is exactly what got me! 🙈