Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

URGENT HELP

62 replies

Bjarnum · 08/08/2022 17:50

My youngest daughter has been locked out of the flat she shares with her boyfriend. They have had issues with their relationship. The flat is his but her belongings are there and also her furniture. She cannot get in to get clothes for work and cannot get any time off. Her rabbits are locked into the garden too and she cannot reach them - and even if she could there is nowhere to take them. We live over 100 miles away and have no means of getting there. He won't answer calls and is not in. Any advice please?

OP posts:
Brogues · 08/08/2022 17:53

Can she call a locksmith?

HappyHamsters · 08/08/2022 17:54

Do you think he has deliberately kicked her out. Does he have family you could contact, failing that call the 101police, he cannot keep her belongings and the rabbits need a welfare check. Has he changed the locks.

Houseplantmad · 08/08/2022 17:54

Google a locksmith?

Antarcticant · 08/08/2022 17:55

Could you contact his workplace and ask them to pass on a message - that might shame him into contacting you?

Original poster
Bjarnum · 08/08/2022 17:56

She can't prove she lives there so locksmiths won't help. Yes, he has deliberately locked her out - he is addicted to cocaine and has minor MH problems

OP posts:
Original poster
Bjarnum · 08/08/2022 17:56

He is self employed

OP posts:
Antarcticant · 08/08/2022 17:57

Does he own or rent the flat?

Original poster
Bjarnum · 08/08/2022 17:58

Good idea about 101 will text her

OP posts:
Lockheart · 08/08/2022 18:03

Does he own or rent the flat? If the latter, I assume she's not named on the tenancy?

Does she have any official correspondence on her phone (bank statements, bills etc) or a driving licence or another form of photo ID which has the address on? Locksmiths might accept those. She needs to call round some local locksmiths, explain the situation, and ask what they need in terms of proof of residency.

Original poster
Bjarnum · 08/08/2022 18:03

He owns it

OP posts:
Original poster
Bjarnum · 08/08/2022 18:04

They have been together for about 6 years. The arguments started because he was looking at gay porn and had joined a gay dating site - he insists he is not gay. The sexual side of the relationship is dead in the water

OP posts:
Threelittlelambs · 08/08/2022 18:05

I doubt any locksmith asks for proof if you are locked out.

I would also call the police for advice.

Original poster
Bjarnum · 08/08/2022 18:05

Wiil ask her if she has anything on her phone that could show residence

OP posts:
gotagooddeal · 08/08/2022 18:06

I'd call the police to help her gain access. He's being unreasonable especially if she needs her things for work etc

Original poster
Bjarnum · 08/08/2022 18:07

Thank you all for your support

OP posts:
Russell19 · 08/08/2022 18:07

If I was you I'd drive there and pick her up

Original poster
Bjarnum · 08/08/2022 18:27

I can't! No car till Thursday - and we live too far away for her to commute from here so she'd lose her job

OP posts:
TommySaid · 08/08/2022 18:30

Can you transfer her some money so she can get a hotel room for tonight.

Is she going to leave him?

If so she could ring 101 or even the RSPCA and ask them to help her move her rabbits and then you can bring them to yours.

TommySaid · 08/08/2022 18:31

I’d get a hotel room for a couple of nights and ring the council and say she’s been kicked out.
They should be able to find her some temporary accommodation.

Does she have a car?
Theres not much point in getting all of her clothes etc if she has no where to put them right now.

HappyHamsters · 08/08/2022 18:31

When you speak to 101 tell them she is concerned for his mental health too, treat it as a welfare check,

dehloh · 08/08/2022 18:34

Bjarnum · 08/08/2022 18:27

I can't! No car till Thursday - and we live too far away for her to commute from here so she'd lose her job

I'd prioritise getting her home safe over her job tbh. Even if this gets sorted tonight she is more at risk of returning to him if she is near him.

HappyHamsters · 08/08/2022 18:36

Does her workplace know, can she go off sick tomorrow. Whatever the outcome it may not be safe for her to stay there so could you book her a hotel nearby, does she have money with her.

bullyboy · 08/08/2022 18:37

I used a locksmith only the other day. No proof was needed that I lived at my address

SirGawain · 08/08/2022 18:41

I doubt any locksmith asks for proof if you are locked out.
They do. I had to get my neighbour to vouch for me when I locked myself out.

TedMullins · 08/08/2022 18:44

no locksmith I’ve ever used has asked for proof of address and I’ve locked myself out of my own flat twice.

If this was me in your daughter’s position I would tell my work I was having a personal crisis and needed a couple of emergency days off. A lot of places have an exceptional/emergency leave policy. Or just call in sick if she doesn’t think her boss will be supportive.

Call 101 for a welfare check and use the opportunity to go in and rescue her stuff. Either stay with a friend, get a hotel for the night or get the train back to yours. Does she have a friend who could take the rabbits for a few days?

It might also be worth posting on the local Facebook group for her area to see if someone would foster the rabbits til she’s sorted a new home. They tend to be really helpful for this kind of thing.

Swipe left for the next trending thread