Found vape products in teens bedroom - help me navigate this

[TeenVapeAngst]

For disclosure - i didnt go looking, i respect their privacy but had been given permission to pop in to their room to gather laundry from floor (sigh) while they are away for a couple of days, and this is where i found the stuff. I don't usually do their laundry, but it's just one of those occasions where they have a tight turn around and hadn't got around to it.

My teen is almost 18 so I count myself lucky we've got this far and honestly feel this is a recent thing in their life.

They have a close friend who vapes and I am hoping this is more of a fitting in choice than anything but who knows?

Anyway, I'm honestly heartbroken over the vaping. Please don't bring me down for this - but I'm against this, for my own reasons and teen knows this and I thought respected this.

Also, if I'm thinking correctly then they've used money I've given them for lunches for this stuff and therefore skipped food in favour of vapes which just makes me worry even more. How much does this stuff cost? I've no idea?

I did ask the other night if they'd been vaping in their room and then seemed shocked that I'd asked but it was just a random moment when I just thought a) husky voice - odd, and b) vapey aroma in room. 🤨 they just brushed it off with a remark of being in company of friends who vape so of course theyd pick up thd smell on their clothes!

It's all piecing together now.

Until now we've had no issues of concern so have navigated the teen years fairly well. It's just now that I'm worried and I just don't know how to handle this.

They'll be back at college in the next couple of weeks.

Any advice?

Hmm, not great but could be soooo much worse. I think you either have to accept if they're honest with you, you'll hear things you don't like. The alternative is they hide it & you don't know. My parents didn't know about my drinking & smoking & drugs when I was a teen. They'd have been horrified. There's nothing you can do about it really, I would think they're unlikely to listen to you. Emotional blackmail may work but they're almost an adult. I've a few years to go before my dc get to this stage, (although ds 12 says loss of children do it in the school toilets!), so watching with interest...

I thought from your title your child would be 13 not nearly 18!

Just say:

‘I know you vape and don’t want you to do it in the house or garden. I do hope you’re not spending a lot of cash on vaping as, if you are, perhaps I’m giving you too much pocket money?’

If this is the worst you have to deal with in raising teenagers then you’re very lucky indeed.

As pp, if my parents knew what I got up to 14-17 I'd be under the ground.

He's nearly 18, not alot you can do other than tell him not to do in the house and stop giving him money.

Well, they have kind of hidden it really - as far as they're concerned, I don't know. So that's disappointing.

It's also disappointing that they are using my money to buy the stuff - not very respectful is it, especially when they know I'm against vaping?

Most importantly, it's disappointing that they have no regard for their health at thus time, particularly considering the career they are thinking of going into where fitness is a key element.

Aside from banning it in your home there's not a huge amount you can do given they are almost 18.

Don’t say anything. DD has both cigarettes and vaping stuff in her room and has done so since she was 17. She doesn’t hide them but she knows I’d rather she didn’t do either. She stopped vaping completely quite early on and now has an occasional self rolled cigarette. Her body etc.

Yes, I suppose it could be a worse situation ....

But that doesn't negate how I feel and neither does that negate that I need to find a way to navigate this conversation going forward.

Oh and a shop close to her secondary school was selling cheap vapes to students, which is when she started. They have now been clamped down on by the school, who patrol the area after school, and police.

@Houseplantmad thankyou - you make a valid point which I did need reminding of, it is their body .....

I need to think through whether I have this conversation now or hold fast and wait a while .... I'd rather it was an open conversation than a hidden secret tbh. I think, surely that's better?

At 18, there really isn't much to done is there ?

Can you tell from what you've found whether there is nicotine in the vapes or not? It's possible that if they're vaping to fit in with their peers, they could be vaping 0% e-juice - which is a mixture of propylene glycol and vegetable glycerine, plus flavouring (which is the same as food flavouring). If it was that, I wouldn't be too worried.

You can't do much to stop them - but please try to make sure they are buying legal vaping products. Lots of newsagents etc sell cheap products that are not legal, and those are more likely to contain the chemicals that cause popcorn lung, for example.

@Inextremis - I think it says blueberry ???

@TeenVapeAngst Blueberry is just the flavour - you need to look for something that says what % of nicotine is in there - could be anything from 0% to 20%.

There’s not much to navigate tbh. They’re nearly 18, vaping isn’t great but it’s along the lines of a few beers - to be honest if that’s their ‘vice’ I would leave them to it and just be pleased it’s not something stronger. Deffo tell them off if they do it in the house though.

You're just going to have to get over yourself I'm afraid

Your DC is practically an adult so you need to let go of this feeling if control asap

Wow, this has happened to me today, although my daughter is only 13yo. It's the Max strawberry one.

I found it in her room when looking for all the missing water bottles. What do we do?

At 18 I think you need to just let them know you’re not happy about it and it’s not to happen in your house but there’s nothing else you can do, mine did it at 18. I told him I wasn’t happy about it and reiterated my reasons why I am strongly against it but in the grand scheme of teen rebellion it’s pretty far down the scale and totally within the realms of normal and not worth getting stressed over

I know quite a lot about vaping. What exactly is it you’ve found? A bottle of liquid? Or a tube type thing? A lot of young people are using cheap disposable vapes.

@GCBookseller it's a blue tube thing

Please dont worry....ive got a dd aged 19...ive found vapes...tobacco...condoms and sex toys in her room since she was around 16...i just put them back and say nothing....its nothing i didn't do as a teenager.

On the tube it should say a %. E.g.like this photo. 2% is pretty standard for nicotine. 0% means no nicotine.

2% (20mg) is the highest legal nicotine strength you can buy in the UK, although if you know where to look, 5% (50mg) vapes can easily enough be found. Those Elfbar type vapes are about £6 a pop, if she’s vaping regularly that’ll get expensive. I wouldn’t worry too much about it, for a lot of the youngsters it seems to be a social thing more than an addiction.

@GCBookseller thos is what I've found. I hate rummaging ......

Explain how you feel. Offer to get some non-nicotine vapes to help get her/him off the nicotine? That’s what I’ve done for my younger teenager.