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Original poster

Foreskin question...

70 replies

adhdforme · 07/08/2022 21:09

Please forgive my ignorance on this topic, but when should a boys foreskin roll down so they can wash themselves? And more forward thinking - I'm worried he will become embarrassed as he gets older when it doesn't roll down for intercourse. He is 11 and I was in the bathroom with him chatting today while he has a bath and just casually asked him because I know it's not rolled down before when he was younger and it's worried me, but like anything health related if I show concern my husband rolls his eyes and says I'm making a big deal out of nothing. But my mind keeps going back to my husband's friends dad from high school (the boy obviously gossiped about his fast who had to be circumcised at the age of 40 due to issues similar to this. 😕

OP posts:
gamerchick · 07/08/2022 21:12

You sit with him while he has a bath and actually asked him if his foreskin can roll down?

itsoneofthosethings · 07/08/2022 21:13

This can't be serious 🧐

Heroicallyl0st · 07/08/2022 21:15

This might help? www.nhs.uk/conditions/phimosis/

My H had tight foreskin which caused painful erections and had a circumcision in his early 20s which solved it. He had it done privately. That was about 12yrs ago.

I’m not sure your son is quite old enough to be worrying about it too much yet unless he’s said he’s having problems - have you got any cause to worry?

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Batshittery · 07/08/2022 21:15

You asked him? Shock

DisforDarkChocolate · 07/08/2022 21:15

WTF!!!

KangarooKenny · 07/08/2022 21:16

He is 11 and you’re in the bathroom while he has a bath ?

weekendninja · 07/08/2022 21:19

Not a wierd question OP.

My 15 year old is awaiting a circumcision any time now.

From the numerous consultant appointments I had about it, it should be able to retract by time they hit 12.

I'd have a chat with your GP now, factoring in the nhs wait time. My DS has waited years and it's now happening in his GSCE year.

Original poster
adhdforme · 07/08/2022 21:19

Of course I asked him. I'm concerned. I don't have a penis. It concerned me when he was 4 but people said he was still young. It concerned me when he was 5, 6, 7, 8 and 9. It still concerns me but I kind of forgot about it. I was sat with him on the toilet just chatting and casually just said to make sure he washed himself well because he was in the pool with the chlorine from earlier and then casually asked him if he could roll it down when he washed himself to which he replied no, that would really hurt.

How else am I meant to go about finding this out and checking if he should be seen to from a Dr. It's not normal is it?

OP posts:
Lollypop701 · 07/08/2022 21:22

Yep sounds exactly like something a parent would do and post about…..🙄

marlowe5 · 07/08/2022 21:22

Really nothing wrong with what the OP has asked IMHO. (I had a partner years ago who had had a problem until his early 20s with this so much so that he had convinced himself that he could never have a sexual relationship - had he had a parent mention what the OP says, earlier in his youth, it would have saved him having his teenage years marred by anxiety. My youngest was told by his doctor that boys with a slightly tight foreskin should try to roll it down in the bath as they get a little older, prior to teen years, to both wash and also loosen this. I hope that might be helpful OP l, though I'm no medical expert!

RudsyFarmer · 07/08/2022 21:23

I have honestly never given this a nanoseconds thought and I have two boys. The time I plan on discussing their foreskins with them would be never.

topcat2014 · 07/08/2022 21:25

I don't recall ever discussing the mechanics of this part of my anatomy with anyone..

But, its around about this age that the penis starts to have two settings..

He will work it all out...

pedropony76 · 07/08/2022 21:26

Nothing wrong with what the OP has asked.

This is why a lot of men who aren’t circumcised don’t even know that they need to pull their foreskin back to clean themselves properly, because their parents clearly never mentioned/taught them.

I only have a 3 month old who will be getting circumcised soon so unfortunately I can’t give any advice OP. Nothing wrong with what you’ve done/asking on here tho

Musicalmistress · 07/08/2022 21:30

My DN had this issue and was circumcised as a fairly young child.

Original poster
adhdforme · 07/08/2022 21:31

Thank you to those of you who replied seriously and can understand why I'm asking this. I am asking as a concerned parent who has a son who has quite bad anxiety and RSD (rejection sensitivity disphoria) due to having adhd like myself. He is very hard on himself and gets embarrassed and thinks everyone in the world hates him sometimes. I am concerned that this issue may one day have a big impact on his self confidence and also cause him pain.

And to the posters who replied sarcastically and critically, please be a bit more thoughtful and considerate when you reply. Not everything on MN is a windup or a troll.

OP posts:
Flowersintheattic57 · 07/08/2022 21:32

As far as I know when your boy starts to seriously play with his penis he will find out if it retracts or if it gets stuck. If it does circumcision is not always necessary as they now can do a little nick on the side that gives the foreskin a tiny bit more ease.
Your son might feel more comfortable talking to his dad about that sort of thing though.

Bottlesandjars · 07/08/2022 21:32

topcat2014 · 07/08/2022 21:25

I don't recall ever discussing the mechanics of this part of my anatomy with anyone..

But, its around about this age that the penis starts to have two settings..

He will work it all out...

But we talk to girls about their bodies so why not boys ?

Shouldbedoing · 07/08/2022 21:33

OP, I don't think you're over-involved or OTT. My 12 y o DS isn't bashful whilst in the bath and I often pop by to remind him to wash all of himself and not just some of himself, that the soap needs to be wetted for washing, bone dry soap is a giveaway, and to remind him to try to roll back his foreskin whilst bathing because it hasn't fully retracted yet as far as I know. We're open to discussion about bodily functions in my home. 12 is the perfect age to talk about starting to self check for testicular cancer too.

redbigbananafeet · 07/08/2022 21:34

I think the disbelief is why a mother is in the bathroom sitting on the loo taking to an 11 year boy in the bath.

Morechocmorechoc · 07/08/2022 21:35

Worrying if you're a parent of a boy and can't talk about their penis. No wonder so many kids have issues they think they can't talk about. Good job checking op

Shouldbedoing · 07/08/2022 21:36

@adhdforme my DS has ASD and perhaps that's what makes him very matter of fact about biology

Iamnotthe1 · 07/08/2022 21:36

I don't understand why some posters think that this isn't something a parent should discuss with their sons. We certainly cover it with the boys during relationships, sex and health education and also encourage boys to talk to their parents about it if they are concerned.

If you don't discuss it then you are far less likely to identify that there could be a problem. Missing it would just lead to increased anxiety and possibly even pain for your sons: why would anyone risk that just because the chat makes them feel a little uncomfortable?

Icecreamandapplepie · 07/08/2022 21:37

My dh had a circumcision at 30.

Better to have it earlier if needed.

Its not as uncommon as people may think.

redbigbananafeet · 07/08/2022 21:38

Iamnotthe1 · 07/08/2022 21:36

I don't understand why some posters think that this isn't something a parent should discuss with their sons. We certainly cover it with the boys during relationships, sex and health education and also encourage boys to talk to their parents about it if they are concerned.

If you don't discuss it then you are far less likely to identify that there could be a problem. Missing it would just lead to increased anxiety and possibly even pain for your sons: why would anyone risk that just because the chat makes them feel a little uncomfortable?

Why can't the boys chat to their dads that have a penis? Why's this left to the mum?

Grosscostsagreed · 07/08/2022 21:38

My DS7 has this issue. He has tried steriod creams with no success and is now on the waiting list to see urology. His dad was circumcised in his early 20's for the same reason and he has stressed how much this would have been less traumatic pre puberty, so I would definitely get it checked out, the GP said lots of people have success just using the steroid cream.

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