Tiny ways to turn my life around

[Bemyclementine]

I'm feeling like pretty much every aspect aspect of my life is out of control atm. I kniw people say makes mall changes...can anyone help me with small,, ,(tiny) changes that have worked for you.

For context...
2 stone overweight
Tired. So bloody tired.(some medical issues too)
House is clean but so cluttered. Stuff
"Life admin " very behind with this
Personal - split ends, grey hairs, if I'm honest, just keeping on top of personal hygiene.
Go to bed too late
Once DC are in bed, i do mostly nothing.
Skint.

When I feel like this, the most important thing is to focus on self-care. When you feel better everything else falls into place. Meditating is a good idea. Making 30 mins in the day when the kids are back at school (could be the lunch break) to go for a 30 min walk somewhere nice. Or take a nap. Holidays are hard!

Do you need a vitamin B12 booster jab? You mention feeling so tired, and obviously that might just be because you have a tiring life but one of my colleagues was feeling similar and it turned out she had a vitamin deficiency, was given a B12 injection by her GP and felt like a completely new woman.

Do you have a bucket? A quick old fashioned way to have a 'shower' is to fill a bucket with warm water and use a cup to pour water onto yourself. It works quite well.

What's your financial situation? Are you working? Are you spending money things you could cut back on?

Take your kids out every day. Find out what's within walking distance or just play with them in the garden.
Do baking with them.
Have 'movie nights' with them.
Assign them tasks so you can all help keep your house clean.
@Hermonthis has an excellent list of things to do.

As for weight loss, cutting out snacking and increasing veg and fruit (buy frozen or what's on offer) will help sort that out.

Slow and steady is the way.

Set yourself one task a day.

Monday - Plan 1 job per day (for example below)
Tuesday - Book a hair appointment
Wednesday - go to bed an hour earlier and read for that hour
Thursday - clean & declutter 1 kitchen cupboard
Friday - declutter 1 draw (not a whole room)
Saturday - meal plan healthy eating for next week
Sunday - bulk cook meals for next week to make it easier

I think I can help you because I've felt like this and I've made lots of changes that are really working for me.

1. For sleep, think about trying a B12 and magnesium supplement. My sleep was really unsettled until I tried this and now I sleep solidly all night. I'm ready for sleep much earlier, too.

1. Can you go out for an evening walk once the kids are in bed? I was exactly like you, slumped on the sofa after my evening meal, watching crap, scrolling on SM and MN, snacking on junk and feeling rubbish. Now I go out for a walk, just half an hour or so and I love it. I come home feeling refreshed and I've got the energy to finish of jobs like bringing in washing and doing the dishes. Then I have a quick shower and go to bed with a book. It's helped structure my evening into meal time, walk time, job time and bedtime and it makes me ready for sleep.

1. I've struggled with my weight all my life so I can't help you much there, but I'm now focussing these 4 areas - home workouts 4 times a week, steps are in excess of 10k every day, drinking loads of water and tracking my calories (trying to stick to 1700). I don't always manage all 4 areas, but if I manage 3 out of 4 then that's ok. For example, I've just been away for a week and ate whatever I wanted and didn't track calories. but kept up with the water, steps and workouts. Thought I'd come home to a massive gain but I've only gained half a pound.

1. I've started using the vitamin E skincare range from Superdrug. It's cheap and always on offer and really good. I love the exfoliating facial scrub and the day cream. I want to try the body moisture because I've noticed my legs are really dry.

1. Find somewhere convenient that does a half decent haircut for a reasonable price, book an appointment and before you leave, book the next appointment. The place in my village does a dry cut and style for 20 quid and I book the next appointment in for 8 weeks later. I found it was getting around the calling up and making the appointment that was the stumbling block in my mind, but once it's in the diary I look forward to going. Before I was leaving it for the best part of a year before getting it cut, and then I was embarrassed to go which made it into a really big deal.

1. Ditto eyebrows - although I appreciate that you've said money is tight so this might be a bit unnecessary. I find it makes a big difference to my facial appearance. I want to start getting my nails done regularly too - not fancy artificial talons or anything, just a shape and polish - because I pick the skin around my nails dreadfully, which looks horrible and it really painful. When my nails are decent, I'm much less inclined to pick the skin.

1. Take the anti-depressants. I'm on daily sertraline after a low period caused by a stressful event 2 years ago. I came off them for a while, but then realised I was just a better person when on them. They make it a bit harder to shift weight (I find) but overall they put me in a better place, so I accept that.

1. I'm a naturally very tidy person so my house is rarely cluttered. People ask how I keep it tidy (small kids here too) but honestly, I don't think I do any more tidying than anyone else I just never let it get too bad. At the moment, you can clean or tidy for half an hour a day but the house will still look untidy because your starting point is fairly bad. If you can have a real blitz and get it into good shape, that half an hour a day will see the house in really good order because your starting point is so much better.

1. Agree with other posters to stop holding on to stuff because there might be a value in it. You've spent the money, it's no longer needed and it's getting you down. I realise it's hard to be ruthless sometimes though, but I think if you can overcome that even for one room to start with, you'll realise how much better it makes you feel and you'll want to continue.

10. Once you've decluttered, find a place for everything. It is so much easier to tidy if there's a place to actually put things. I've found loads of good storage stuff on FB marketplace.

Good luck OP, you've had some really good advice here. Try not to do too much in one go, you'll just overwhelm yourself. Life is hard and it's easy to drown in everything sometimes. You're not the only one. I think if you can start doing some of these things, the changes you'll see in your life will be all the motivation you need to keep going.

@KangarooKenny we do go out a lot, live rurally and also 25 min drive from the coast, woodland etc. It definitely helps my mind but not the state of my house!

@Hermonthis we can't use a shower attachment, it just doesn't work (how i wish it would. )

@ElizabethinherGermanGarden I'm due a thyroid/iron check in a few weeks so will ask then. I'd imagine oneir both of those is out of whack.

@IHateFlies yes I'm working, but a single parent going through divorce. This I'm ok with or at least will be once itscall done.

We do a lot of the things mentioned, we're an "outdoorsy" family, I really struggle to spend a full day at hone actually. So we do walks, wood, beach, swimming, nature trails, crafting, baking etc.

Your family life sounds wonderful so be proud of yourself for that.

With decluttering, set an alarm for 15 minutes and see how much you can get done. With kids stuff I move it to the garage and if no one asks for it in 6 months it goes.

Set an alarm for bedtime each night - have some wind down music and play it while you go your teeth etc. A nice bedtime routine that you look forward to will help you go to bed at a good hour. More sleep will also stop you mindless eating in the evening and be good for weight loss.

@anxiousatnight thank you , for such a thorough reply!

I'm single so can't go out after bedtime,I woul love to though! I will start going into the garden I think, even 10 minutes will help both me abd the garden. I have decided not to try an workout at hone, I love going to classes but hate hone workouts so am not going to make kyself miserable with it. I know its really food I need to focus on. I get 13k steps minimum so that's positive.

I do tend to blitz the house on Sundays but struggle in the week so it needs blitzing again the following Sunday. I née to find a way to keep on top of it more.

Right, I'm off to fill a bag!

Morning @Bemyclementine
One tip that really helped me to get to bed earlier was to start an evening routine, but well before bedtime. Set clothes out for next day, make sure you have what you need for following day in a place set up for it - even just a box or bag by front door. That can be done befire dinner to make it easier.
Maybe even bring dinner time forward by half an hour, so you have the energy to clear up afterwards so kitchen is fit for use first thing in the morning. Fill kettle, lay a mug out etc.
I now clean my teeth straight after dinner, set water by my bed, and make sure the cat is sorted for the night. Quick shower or wash then nightwear on. Stuff like that.
Because in my experience, I'm more likely to go to bed at a reasonable time if it's made easy. Too many times nodding off in front of telly then having to shoehorn myself off the sofa, and then find the energy to feed cat, clean teeth, get my water, take meds.
Then mornings were rubbish because i didnt want to get up to face last night's washing up, no clean clothes etc etc
Does any of that seem familiar?
Best wishes, I know it's really tough

Tl:dr - get ready for bed straight after dinner!

Ps I don't mean you have to go to bed really early, but if everything is sorted early, going to bed is less of a chore x

The 3 minute tidy.

I can't be bothered to do any more than that each day.

I set the egg timer and do 3 minutes of tidying per area (table!) or room in the house.

Daily bite size tasks make a massive difference.

Have an evening routine with your dcs too where you all spend 10-15 minutes tidying and cleaning.

Get a rubbish bag, charity bag (and selling bag if you want) set up and try to get rid of 5 things a day. By the end of the week, you'll have so much less clutter.

I agree with the bed thing, for a while I put away my phone at 8, read instead of watching tv and went to bed at 10 and I was a new person but that has significantly slipped (along with me lol!!)

Great advice from people about decluttering and self care (about a day or so after shaving legs exfoliating with salt and olive oil is my top tip, then a nice moisturiser) I’d add in that a trip to the hairdressers if at all possible is a huge thing in making you feel a bit better

Also read a book/watch a film/programme/listen to music that you know you love.

Have you tried the organised mum method/gemma bray, she has free routines on her website, she’s on YouTube and instagram and has a podcast. Her method is easy and really does work. She’s also Patreon which costs £3.20 a month. She has clean-alongs, some which are only 5 mins.

@Solosunrise YES! So familiar. I used to do "3 things to make the morning easier" the night before. I will start again and try what you suggest, it a good idea.

@Doseydots yes, something else I used to do, but dobt anymore, was TOMM thanks for the reminder.

@Bemyclementine I really hope it helps you get back on track. Morning and evening routines always help me get centred when I lose my way
Please feel free to join us here 😊

Thank you @Solosunrise I will have a look.

I've had a good day 1 bah filled fir charity, 1 bag of stuff im the bin. Meal plan and online shop done. House tidied and cleaned it looks much clearer and feels fresh with the clutter being tidy!

Going to aim for an earlier night. I have recently started taking ramipril and one of the side effects is a cough. I seem to be suffering with thus from around 3am which definitely isn't helping. I will call the Dr tomorrow to see if there is a alternative.

Wow OP that's amazing. What a great start. Don't beat yourself up if you can't do this much every day.

@Cynderella thanks for that about getting up earlier first to make you feel tired at night.

I feel you OP. I'm already nervous about this autumn/winter as I live alone and WFH. I spiralled into a dreadful depression last year. Got to be on top of my daily habits this year.

@Katyaadlerscoat thank you! Definitely won't get this much done every day, I had child free day today. Really tired though, def think my iron and thyroid need checking.

@Solongtoshort

"Too many times nodding off in front of telly then having to shoehorn myself off the sofa, and then find the energy to feed cat, clean teeth, get my water, take meds.
Then mornings were rubbish because i didnt want to get up to face last night's washing up, no clean clothes etc etc
Does any of that seem familiar?"

Oh wow this is me 😂😂😂

Join us here, OP and any others who wish:

www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/4600594-personal-hygiene?reply=119059555

I've been following the organised mum method for nearly 4 years and it is amazing, I have also been able to put the time management skills it has taught me to do my admin.

Each week i sit down for an hour and a half and work through a list of
Level One jobs
Emails (add things to to do list, delete, unsubscribe)
Check bank balance and update budget spreadsheet
Add Alexa to do list to main list and and alexa shopping list to grocery tesco basket (i shout things at alexa as they come into my head), book tesco delivery slot, sort noticeboard peg and add to to do list (i have a big peg stuck to the wall in the kitchen for any random paperwork).
Work stuff (shifts, timesheet, expenses)
School stuff (they insist on use multiple platforms for sending out info and it drives me mad), payment for wraparound care.
Repeat prescription

I don't need to do everything every week, but just check them off my list, so i know that i don't miss anything.

Level two jobs
Then i order my to do list, i have the list in a spread sheet so i can easily use the sort cells function to order it, and then start working though the list from the top.

Level 3 jobs
Every few months i spend an extra hour doing a digital declutter or reviewing my finances, or scanning/shredding paperwork.

I feel more on top of my admin then i have ever been.