Tiny ways to turn my life around

[Bemyclementine]

I'm feeling like pretty much every aspect aspect of my life is out of control atm. I kniw people say makes mall changes...can anyone help me with small,, ,(tiny) changes that have worked for you.

For context...
2 stone overweight
Tired. So bloody tired.(some medical issues too)
House is clean but so cluttered. Stuff
"Life admin " very behind with this
Personal - split ends, grey hairs, if I'm honest, just keeping on top of personal hygiene.
Go to bed too late
Once DC are in bed, i do mostly nothing.
Skint.

(Just been prescribed anti depressants, and referred for DA specific counselling )

When I feel overwhelmed by the house (4 children and constant clutter) I make it my goal to fill one carrier bag - either with rubbish to bin/recycle or nice stuff for the charity shop (or you could sell it).

One bag feels achievable even when overwhelmed.

Treat yourself to 10 minutes of meditation each day.

Eg. Do you have a bath? Put a candle on in the evening and have a moment to yourself? Followed by a nice body cream and fluffy dressing gown. Make it a ritual.

Yes, get rid of some stuff.

Don't equate your stuff with cash, don't wait to try and sell it. You have already spent that money,it's gone and keeping the item isn't going to change that.

Could you go for a walk in the early evenings whilst it's light nights and the dc are on school holidays? It's a good way of spending time together and getting a bit of exercise too.

I'm sorry you've found yourself in this situation. The most obvious thing that looks like it might help you is to stop going to bed so late which will in turn help the tiredness (but not the medical issues) bring your bedtime forward by 5 minutes every day and you won't notice it but it might help you feel better

@bigbeautifulmonster I do have a bath, it's the bane of my life - no shower! But yes I should start trying to enjoy it.

OP

I have some / many of these issues (I suspect adult adhd). But anyway - the going to bed late is the absolute shit for creating a vicious circle. If you can make yourself go to bed earlier that would improve things!

this worked for me…

Mediation is a great idea but really underlying that:

focus on how you feel and what makes you feel good, and make feeling good the most important thing in your life

meditation will help you tune into that because feelings are in your body, so taking 10 minutes a day to practice switching off your thoughts will help you drop your awareness into your body and tune into your feelings.

Start listening to Abraham Hicks (YouTube) if you want to understand more - all sounds totally batty to begin with when you’re in a slump but honestly along with counselling it’ll change your life. I spent years tired out on the sofa in the evening listening to Abraham Hicks talks and dropping off for deep naps and it did me the world of good!

PS I didn’t have ADHD - I had childhood trauma and neglect. Emotional neglect is so freaking common it’s scary. There might be absolutely nothing wrong with you and your nervous system might just be overloaded. Once you rest and let your feelings heal you’ll begin to feel better and your surrounds - your body, house etc will begin to line up.

Please don't recommend a bath for someone who is skint! It costs a fortune to run.

@MuffinMcLayLikeABundleOfHay that us part of the problem, I'm so skint, so struggle with letting things go for free. I do need to try harder with it

I think that is the case for a lot of people with too much stuff. But the stuff is making you unhappy.

@EmergencyHepNeeded problem is, I only have a bath. I see it as another chore tbh.

Personally, telling me to go to bed earlier is pointless. What I need is to get up earlier. Few days of that has me needing to go to bed earlier. That's why it's so hard to sort sleep problems - you need to be in a good place to do it.

Getting rid of a carrier bag of stuff every day is easier - sorting one drawer or shelf is a start. I don't mind letting stuff go for free, but I hate throwing away something that could be used if only the right person and place materialises.

Could you cut out something high in calories? Maybe less sugar in coffee, less or no butter, smaller portion of everything?

@Heroicallyl0st I will look him up, thank you. I used to do a guided meditation often, just one of the many things I've let slip.

@Cynderella I think I agree, I will start setting an alarm. I am nitmally ok with late nights but currently so tired. Rather than go to he'd 5 minutes earlier I will get up 5 mins earlier.

Tomorrow I will meal plan for the week. I dont feel like I'm eating all that badly but I am older and have hypothyroidism so probably need to be more careful.

How old are the kids? Are they old enough to be responsible for having a stuff clear out of their own? If you don't like the thought of not selling stuff on and you live on a road where you could do a driveway sale and leave the kids in charge. Low prices and then anything that doesn't sell gets taken to charity.

Do the kids have age appropriate chores? That could potentially take some of the tasks away from you.

Are you due a thyroid check? Maybe your meds needs reviewing.

I've been trying to do 10k a day and it has helped my weight. Your phone my have an inbuilt step monitor.

I hate throwing away something that could be used if only the right person and place materialises.

This is the reason so many people are hoarders or unhappy with their house. They just don’t value themselves enough to chuck stuff out.

Kids are 5 and 7. 5yr old is happy to let stuff go 7 yr old is not. Thry had sone lovely (exornsice) toys that they no longer play with tgat I should start with listing really

We live on a road to nowhere sadly. They dobt really do regular chores.

Today I'm going to meal plan, list a bundle to sell and take a bag to charity. Also, be in bed by 11

Oh I do around 13k steps a day but mostly pottering.

Sleep, sleep and more sleep. Going to bed early will help a few things, no tv on which you clearly aren’t paying attention to will declutter your mind and save you money, once you are rested it will make it easier to take care of yourself and make a plan to battle your clutter.

Take the kids out for a walk. If they’re not keen make it into a game, eg how many red cars will we see.
Book into the hairdressers.
The clutter can seem overwhelming, so do one drawer/cupboard/room at a time.
Throw the kids stuff out when they are at school.

OP I recommend buying a bath to shower attachment so the kids can start having showers. You may need to hold the hose bit (unless there’s a suction cup shower hose bracket anywhere online?) but they just need a quick 2 mins and they’re done. Will save you in the long run as a bath is about £1 a time at the moment (I can’t remember where I read that!)

In our last house we did the bath to shower hose trick and it was great with little kids. Made life much simpler Xx

Do you have beauty/pampering stuff like nail varnish? When I’m in a slump period like this I try to multi task with my tv watching. So one night I’ll do my nails, one night a face mask (can just be soluble aspirin in honey no need to be expensive), one night body cream, one night a hair mask (again no need to be expensive, egg is a great protein mask - just rinse it in lukewarm water…)

by the end of the week I’m feeling more put together and that makes me feel better in general

I saw a quote once that said you need to clear out the old toys/stuff to make space for kids space to grown into the new ones...it quite helpful to think of throwing the past out to make way for the future. Look forward, never back.

I used to write down free bucket lists for each season as we never had money to spend on things. I can only find Autumns at the moment…

.Go for a bike ride and dress up warm.
.Take a flask of hot chocolate and go for a woodland walk
.Hunt for different coloured leaves.
.Make a collage with the leaves.
.Go for a walk in the dark early evening, enjoy the smells of Autumn & the lights.
.Go stargazing on a clear night
.Dress up warm & decorate the patio with chalks
.Use any materials to make bright firework paintings on black card.
.Go puddle splashing in a puddle suit and wellies!
.Watch the sunset together
.Visit your local National Park
.Make fun Halloween masks
.Bake apple pie or apple crumble
.Go blackberry picking
.Bake flapjacks
.Get up early for a fresh misty stroll
.Stomp on crunchy leaves
.Roast some marshmallows & drink hot chocolate
.Bake oat cookies.
.Dress up warm and have warm drinks on a fleece picnic blanket in the garden
.Have a bug hunt
.Watch fireworks
.Go on a leaf hunt. Find out what trees they come from
.Make leaf paint prints
.Visit a free museum!
.Go kite flying
.Make an outside den from sticks / logs in the woods
.Make an indoors fort from sofa cushions
.Collect toilet roll tubes, decorate and play skittles on the lawn (dress up warm!)
.Enjoy outdoor sparklers
.Hunt for conkers! And play conkers!
.Start geocaching. Aim for 3 in Autumn.
.Attend a bonfire
.Make soup together ❤ and homemade bread
.Use the slow cooker and give your meals “Harry Potter” names. We have Hogwarts Stew…