Hello, newbie here and in dire need for advice please. I have two sons, 25 and 19 and have been trying to cope with an alcoholic husband for years, something which is obviously negatively affecting us all. My 19 year old is a really sharp and kind kid, on his first year at law school. He lives at home, is fully dependent on us and for the most part, he and I have a very good relationship, talk a lot about everything, help each other emotionally and get on quite well, most of the time. However, he has always been pretty assertive, does not easily take no for an answer, always wants to have the last word and has been physically and emotionally abusive to me on two major occasions in the last 3 years. This usually follows a conversation that gets heated up for no real reason and when this happens, I usually say or show him that I do not want to keep talking and/or arguing on this tone, and will do so later when things calm down. On both occasions he refuses to accept or respect this. The first time, I tried to get some time-out and retreated to my bedroom. He followed me up there, calling me names and relentlessly pursued me around the house, slamming doors and breaking things and physically shoving me and pushing me around. Today, the same thing happened, I said I did not wish to continue talking until he had calmed down and used a less aggressive tone of voice and when he did not respect that, I simply closed off my ears with my hands and concentrated on my laptop, choosing to ignore him. He responded by coming over to where I was sitting, towering over me, grabbing by wrists and physically pulling them away from my ears, pinning me down and calling me names. I did not speak to him at all, just tried to defend myself and free myself from his grasp and accidentally knocking his phone down. He continued to grab and hurt me physically, shutting down and threatening to break my laptop, calling me names and laughing in my face. This behavior is very very hurtful for me and I don’t know how to cope with it. I realize that his father addiction to alcohol may be at the root of some of this aggressive behavior, but I don’t think it justifies the whole of it. Last time this happened, I left the house for 5 days. This time, I decided to face him with consequences, so I withdrew his monthly allowance from his bank account. I am planning to tell him that I am perfectly happy to pay for his lifestyle and studies, as long as we are in a mutually loving and respectful relationship, but not otherwise. I do not know what else to do and how to cope with this very hurtful situation and any advice would be more than welcome.