What’s the worst food someone ever gave you when you visited?

[LadyCampanulaTottington]

This week I was invited to friends house. She’s just moved in and wanted me to see the place. She said she would provide lunch and not to bring anything.

So I rock up hungry as it’s already 1:30. We start with a couple of pieces of baguette with some sliced salame and prosciutto, liver pate and some cheese. There is also a small bowl of salad leaves.

I take a small portion of each thing except the pate and my friend has some too. After a while it becomes apparent that this was not the starter but the entire meal. I was debating taking more when my friend started to clean up. I was still hungry!!

So I had to sit there with my stomach rumbling for another half an hour before I could leave and go get something to eat!

I’ve had meals in her house before but this is the first time she’s served such a small meal, she’s usually generous with portions. Does she think I’m fat and is trying to help? 😂

As someone who grows courgettes every year and never learns this might have been me. I am sorry. Last year to stop my family hating me I started leaving the green fuckers on the garden wall for passers by to take which helped.

Worst thing served...MiL who is a good cook once lost her judgement whilst using a 70s edition of a Cranks cookbook and served up a cauliflower, banana and date salad, all mixed up with mayonnaise. Madness.

Big enough to last all day you say?

I'll go with that! Fuck yeah!

Fried bread excuse found 😁

Oh I remember that one! And she found examples online of all day breakfasts on the breakfast menu, served till 11 - conveniently missing the fact that it was also on the lunch menu, which was served till 4. Then argued that, as they closed at 5, it didn't count as being served all day.

Details might not be exactly that (possibly two different places and maybe the times aren't spot on).

Can't agree with haggis- I'm not Scottish but totally love it- with mash , Yorkshires and greens- yum!!

I think tripe is probably the worst for me

My MIL came to stay occasionally and usually made her culinary special, jelly whipped up with condensed milk, always pink. A single pack of jelly made a really vast amount. Once our family had christened it (privately!) "placenta froth" I was never able to choke it down again.
She really was a terrible cook, if she did a Sunday roast she would start cooking it at breakfast time. By the time the tiny joint arrived it would just be grey and we could only tell what the meat was by what came with it, apple/mint/horseradish sauce.

When my DH was a child she used to stuff boiled potatoes with overcooked cabbage as he didn't like brassicas. No wonder his dislike of them has continued to this day, they actually make him vomit!

Ooh, I used to LOVE jelly made with condensed milk when I was little! A real treat 😁

I would offer jelly and chips evaporated milk it to Brownies on pack holiday or camp up until a couple of years ago.
They loved it, especially with tinned peaches in the jelly.

When I was at University in the early 80s 'Jelly and Evap' was on the list as pudding at least once a fortnight.

My mum used to make the jelly whipped with evaporated milk - jelly mousse she called it - and I loved it. These days I am still very fond of jelly and evap, or jelly and condensed milk as a real treat

I love jelly with condensed milk (poured on though) with tinned mandarin 😬

I was going away for the weekend and left a big bowl of creamy egg custard for my DH to put in the ice cream machine for the kids. When I got back they'd eaten it but compained that it didn't taste of anything. I looked in the fridge and the custard was still there, turned out he'd used a bowl of goosefat left over from Christmas. When they moaned he just told they to get on with it - and they did. I've no idea why they weren't all terribly sick!

Crikey! Is he related to this chap? www.mumsnet.com/talk/mumsnet_classics/2017083-He-has-eaten-a-fat-ball

No - at least not that I know of! I doubt that he ate any of it himself anyway, he doesn't like ice cream

Have never forgotten the 'spag bol' a new boyfriend's mother served when I was invited to dinner.
The spaghetti was massive fat noodles that had been boiled to death so it had the most disgusting slimy, soggy texture. The bolognese was cheap beef mince and tinned tomatoes, no seasoning and she hadn't fried the mince beforehand to drain the fat off, so it was disgustingly greasy .
I was 18 and had been brought up to eat what was offered because it was impolite not to. It was disgusting.

This many many years ago. Was at a friend's house after school and her mum gave me cold mashed potato with a tomato. Was a bit 🤮 at the cold potato with tomato. I was 11 at the time. The thing is at our house my mum served up loads of homemade chips with beans but can't remember what else. She loved the food at our house and tucked in with a big smile on her face. Think chips didn't feature much if at all at her house. which was really a flat in a private school as her dad was a teacher there Her mum smoked and was very thin. A bit Mrs Robinson.

With some bacon and tinned tomatoes. I mean if I'm feeling greedy a round of thick white bread for a dirty butty as well. One of my favourites

I stayed over a friends house when I was around 14 years old.

My friend got out a packet of sausages that have all that sausage juice (don't know what it's called sorry?!!) around them. Her cat walked all over it and left a load of fur on the sausages. My friend still stuck them in the microwave and tried to give them to me.

I was retching trying to eat them so I pretended I had a sick bug, rang my Mum and got the fuck out of there.

My father in law did most of the cooking, his liver and onion gravy with mash and cabbage was to die for, his mince pies at Christmas were th best I’ve tasted. BUT, he also served up the most weird concoctions.
Boiled rice with a cheap burger, tinned tomatoes and salad cream was unforgettable.
A Whole Tinned chicken one Sunday lunch with boiled spuds, boiled cabbage, tinned peas and carrots was another eye opener. He didn’t drain anything properly, he used a straining spoon so everything was watery. I’d never seen a whole tinned chicken before. I nearly threw up when he opened the tin and tipped it and it’s gloopy juices onto a serving dish.
DH once came home from a 12 hour shift to a cheap burger, and Chips. Kept warm in the oven for about four hours, it was like shoe leather.

The brown banana for breakfast one has reminded me of this instance.

I had an illness many years ago which rendered me bedridden for about ten days. Could barely eat anything but one day I felt slightly better, still no energy but felt hungry and asked my then boyfriend if he could possibly make me something to eat.

Bear in mind I'd cooked for him nearly every single day in the run up to this, we shopped together, been out for meals, he knew what foods I ate/liked. But he stared at me with such a blank look like I'd asked him to complete such a difficult task that was so unreasonable of me.

I said 'Make me a wrap. I know we've got wraps, that isn't difficult is it?'

It was apparently.

He cooked a sausage. One single vegetarian sausage. In the microwave. He brought me up a plate atop which was a cold, stiff tortilla wrap (it had been in the fridge and he hadn't warmed it) which he'd attempted to wrap around said sausage but obviously being stiff and cold, it had just flopped open onto the plate instead.
He'd also added a small, raw mushroom. So I got a plate with a wrap on it with one microwaved sausage and a mushroom

No sauce, no dressings, nothing else at all.

I didn't eat it, and used all the small amount of energy I had having a go at him for being so bloody useless.

A friend of mine makes the evap and jelly thing and calls it Elephants Foam!
My worst meal was when a (different) friend invited us over for 'Italian night' and made spaghetti boiled to kingdom come but served cold with a lukewarm tin of tomatoes on top and all floating in a starchy puddle of spaghetti water. With dried mixed herbs to sprinkle on top as a garnish.

Àt a friends house . Her mum made Sausage pie. The sausages were still froze2n!!

Not at a visit but in the family home. Not an absolute disaster.... mum brought in some sausage rolls. I told her the pastry tasted sweet. She took a bite fthen grabbed evening's plate. Eventually emerging with the same pastry. This time stuffed with tinned Cherries and a jug of custard!!!

Chitterling sausage salad in Brittany. Oh, the smell! 🤢