What’s the worst food someone ever gave you when you visited?

[LadyCampanulaTottington]

This week I was invited to friends house. She’s just moved in and wanted me to see the place. She said she would provide lunch and not to bring anything.

So I rock up hungry as it’s already 1:30. We start with a couple of pieces of baguette with some sliced salame and prosciutto, liver pate and some cheese. There is also a small bowl of salad leaves.

I take a small portion of each thing except the pate and my friend has some too. After a while it becomes apparent that this was not the starter but the entire meal. I was debating taking more when my friend started to clean up. I was still hungry!!

So I had to sit there with my stomach rumbling for another half an hour before I could leave and go get something to eat!

I’ve had meals in her house before but this is the first time she’s served such a small meal, she’s usually generous with portions. Does she think I’m fat and is trying to help? 😂

Daily Shite headline attempt. 'My thought my stewed plums were venison!'

An amateur cook took to Mumsnet to describe her embarrassment over her hysterical culinary disaster when she took her eye off the ball and stewed pink plums [geddit??] instead of a dead deer blah blah with hilarious consequences blah blah ...

My mil who I love to bits didn’t know what to feed a vegetarian. Both me and her ds were vegetarians when we first started going out.
First time I stayed over at their house she made breakfast for us. Sausage, bacon and eggs etc. My now husband just gave me a look and told me it was easier just to eat it. I was a wee timid thing and just ate everything. I vaguely remember quite enjoyed it.

Another time at a family get together at their house she was all in a panic and didn’t know what I was going to eat. She had washed and chopped a bunch of vegetables and sent me into the kitchen to make it myself. Perfectly fair and understandable but I was a very shy 21 year old meeting dh family for the first time. I still cringe at how awkward it was.

We eat a lot of game. I just go over it with the fish tweezers and take the pellets out, it takes about three minutes ( The fish tweezers are for stray bones after DH has finished with the filleting knife. No one can say we don’t face up to where our food comes from - and we honour it).

Most things consumed at my grandparents' were awful. They chain smoked, so anything that wasn't eaten immediately after being unsealed tasted like an ashtray.

It was even worse if we were given any leftovers to take home to consume, because it was easier to smell and taste away from the nose blocking fug. The homemade sponge cake was the worst. It absorbed the smell like, well, like a sponge.

I can see how it could happen. Unlabelled tub in the freezer, dark red chunks inside. It's only by sheer good luck nothing quite as bad as that has happened to me. When I defrost the freezer, we often end up having Freezer Surprise that evening and there have been a few real surprises over the years once the ice melts ...

A Beetroot sandwich in homemade Bread

The first time dh made me cheese on toast he put the bread in the toaster then when it was done took the toast out, put cheese on then put it in the bloody microwave to melt the cheese 😱
I recently asked for cheese chips. Everyone I know has it with grated cheese on chips straight out of the oven. Dh cooked chips, added cheese then put them back in the oven to melt the cheese!
Worse food cooked was years back & my dd made us kids homemade rice pudding but the dope put in salt instead of sugar 😝

Chips with oven-melted cheese sounds nicer than chips with grated cheese!

@stuntbubbles I was thinking that too!

Went to bil for tea long time ago and he made one of them tin pies. I was sat there for ages chewing on it think it was steak or something chewy but I couldn't swallow it. Ended up going to toilet to rid and was full up pretty soon that day.

Sal

Just remembered something DM used to make. A kind of bake with fennel in sauce & hardboiled eggs 🤮She was a good cook generally but that made me retch! But then I can’t be doing with eggs in dishes. On their own is fine!

This may really date me, but as a child, one of my favourite puddings was chocolate blancmange. It came in a packet and you added sugar and hot milk. Or, if you were my dad, and a bit distracted, salt and hot milk! It didn’t taste good. He only did it once.

So not mine, but my mothers.

She is Scandinavian and met my dad and came over here and got married in the early 70's.

My great-grandmother invited them over for dinner when my brother was about 18 months old so in Terry nappies at the time. She was served a steak & kidney pie in suet pastry, and my gg mother was not a talented cook. At all.

My mother found it repulsive, both on a cultural as well as a culinary front. So as to be polite, she started shovelling it down the back of my brothers nappy whenever no one was looking. When she was done, she picked my dbrother up, sniffed his bum and said 'oh my! What a full nappy!' Took him out and emptied it down the toilet. 😂

DillonPanthersTexas your post is hilarious & gross in equal measure! 🤣

I've just remembered one. While volunteering in Africa, a host we were staying with gave us avocado and raw onion sandwiches.
It was just awful but I had to eat it as I didn't want to be rude.

The poster who mentioned her mums school packed lunches made from a sort of pink, rubbery gelatinous meat, from a tin that had to be opened with tin. Could it be Corned Beef? That’s the only meat I can think of that comes in a key opened tin
If the tin is at room temperature it is a you described.
Corned beef is a staple food round here , we keep it the fridge so it firms up, makes slicing it easier for sandwiches. If I’m making a pie or a corned beef hash I keep it in the cupboard, it’s going to be mushed up anyway so no need to chill it.
Or it may have been Brawn, sort of a potted meat spread, with melted butter on the top, left to harden. Mum used to make it. .once the butter was scraped off it wasn’t too bad. In small doses.

Think they mean the stuff you get in a round or sometimes pear shaped times it's more like a pork gammon type stuff bit like spam

I can’t top any of these!

Probably a plate of just boiled pasta served plain in bowls, with a bowl of Dolmio just plonked on the table for us to spoon over the pasta, cold. That wasn’t nice. I think I ate the pasta plain.

This kind of thing

I eat avocado on toast with chopped raw shallots on top, salt, pepper and white condiment. It's lovely, and a sandwich of sorts.

Or it may have been Brawn, sort of a potted meat spread, with melted butter on the top, left to harden. Mum used to make it. .once the butter was scraped off it wasn’t too bad. In small doses

I used to cut up boiled pigs' heads to make brawn, as part of a summer job. Brawn is all the bits of muscle/lean meat on the head, there's quite a big one behind the eye. I think every bit of the pig was used to make food in the factory except the tail, though I've had this stewed in Jamaica.

As they say, you can eat every bit of a pig bar its grunt.

Much more likely to be Spam or another kind of luncheon meat, surely? I have a dim memory of the Spam tin being opened with a key when I was young. Haven't had Spam for decades. I used to love it! Especially the jelly, which I know a lot of people loathe. See also: tinned ham, as pictured by someone a few posts up from mine. There's almost nothing I won't eat, although @echt's description of making brawn is testing me a bit ...

I think you mean pork brawn. I worked on a supermarket deli counter in the 70s which sold it. A sort of fat long pink greasy sausage dotted with lumps of fat which was sliced on the machine. It looked and tasted disgusting.
Beef brawn, on the other hand was like shredded beef in jelly, also to to be sliced on the machine, which looked and tasted much better 😋

I eat avocado on toast with chopped raw shallots on top, salt, pepper and white condiment. It's lovely, and a sandwich of sorts.

I don't even bother with the toast. Just a bowl of avocado with chopped red onion, lime juice, salt and black pepper. Yum!

Sounds more like Pek to me. Thankfully I was never forced to eat it although I am partial to a bacon grill sandwich!