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Original poster

Be honest what's your reaction when you hear of a young person...

145 replies

EhatBow · 02/08/2022 14:04

Killed doing something anti social/criminal?

A school aged teen died here last night. Well after midnight, on a motorbike.

He and his friends are part of a group who've been causing quite a disturbance late at night/early hours in residential streets for several weeks.

I always think there but for the grace.... I haven't always known what my DC are up to and you have to let them spread their wings and trust them at some point, although at that age they wouldn't have been out regularly after midnight.

My heart breaks for parents who made decisions they must now be regretting, but as you can imagine, the reaction locally has been "mixed".

A good friend of mine lost her 20yo only child a few years ago. He crashed his car driving far too fast. The response was venomous, but these are still someone's child 😥

OP posts:
35965a · 02/08/2022 14:06

I find it upsetting; young people do stupid things. They’re still learning. It’s unfortunate that sometimes stupid things end in tragedy.

Anothernamechangeplease · 02/08/2022 14:08

I don't know how anyone could think such deaths are anything other than utterly tragic. All the more so, tbh, if the deaths arose from stupid or misguided behaviour that could have been avoided.

Must be unbearable for the parents and my heart goes out to anyone in that situation.

ShadowoftheFall · 02/08/2022 14:09

I think of all the poor decisions I’ve made that could have gone another way and thank my lucky stars I’ve lived long enough to learn from the mistakes of others.

CalistoNoSolo · 02/08/2022 14:10

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AppleBottomRats · 02/08/2022 14:10

I don’t have enormous amounts of sympathy, to be honest. I’m relatively young still (20s) and have managed to never do anything dangerous and illegal, nor my friendship group. Millions of teenagers manage to grow up without doing anything majorly idiotic, I don’t think age is an excuse. Driving dangerously is a danger to others as well, it’s lucky that no one else was injured or killed.

DelurkingAJ · 02/08/2022 14:11

I think it’s a tragedy…and there but for the grace of God go I and all those I care about. Young people’s brains are still developing until about 25 and I challenge anyone to say they’ve never done anything rash (or that someone else might see as rash). For example, I frequently used to walk home alone in the middle of the night, somewhat drunk, rather than cough up for a cab. Yes, not criminal, but pretty foolhardy some might say.

Original poster
EhatBow · 02/08/2022 14:12

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He was 14. I don't think 14yos who are going to achieve great, out of the ordinary things, are fitting neatly into your boxes.

I don't know if this one would have or not, but all the big achievers take risks.

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 02/08/2022 14:12

Tragic and that maybe somewhere along the line they may have been failed by people supposed to be caring for them.

sunsetsandsandybeaches · 02/08/2022 14:12

It's horribly sad, but equally if those kids have been upsetting and scaring people with their antics, I can see why the reaction is mixed.

Original poster
EhatBow · 02/08/2022 14:14

DelurkingAJ · 02/08/2022 14:11

I think it’s a tragedy…and there but for the grace of God go I and all those I care about. Young people’s brains are still developing until about 25 and I challenge anyone to say they’ve never done anything rash (or that someone else might see as rash). For example, I frequently used to walk home alone in the middle of the night, somewhat drunk, rather than cough up for a cab. Yes, not criminal, but pretty foolhardy some might say.

I do that now. It's my risk to take and yes, so far I've got away with it, but it's very controversial among my friends.

OP posts:
carefullycourageous · 02/08/2022 14:14

It's always sad, they were presumably loved by their family and friends. I feel so sorry for anyone who loses a child. I don't think sadness is reserved only for the perfect.

MouseShoes · 02/08/2022 14:14

If I was one of the people whose sleep was being regularly disturbed or property stolen or damaged then I would think ‘so what?’.

Original poster
EhatBow · 02/08/2022 14:16

MouseShoes · 02/08/2022 14:14

If I was one of the people whose sleep was being regularly disturbed or property stolen or damaged then I would think ‘so what?’.

Nothing was stolen.

I don't think I would. I think you can be annoyed about their behaviour and still recognise the death is tragic. Feel for those they left behind, if not for them.

OP posts:
carefullycourageous · 02/08/2022 14:16

Oh only 14, that really is sad.

Trulyweird1 · 02/08/2022 14:17

Totally with @DelurkingAJ ; we are all/ have all been young and stupid at some point, even if for most it wasn’t criminal and didn’t end badly.
There’s such a loss of the potential to turn things around. Heartbreaking for their families.
I live in an area where many youngsters have been lost to driving their own cars beyond their limits. It’s always a tragedy, no matter how stupid.

Anothernamechangeplease · 02/08/2022 14:17

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What a cold way of looking at the world.

I don't suppose that many of us will be a huge loss to humanity when we die. However, this young child's death will nevertheless be a monumental loss to those who loved and cared for him. I find it strange that you seem to feel no compassion.

CalistoNoSolo · 02/08/2022 14:17

EhatBow · 02/08/2022 14:12

He was 14. I don't think 14yos who are going to achieve great, out of the ordinary things, are fitting neatly into your boxes.

I don't know if this one would have or not, but all the big achievers take risks.

Show quote history

No boxes, he was out illegally riding a motorbike after midnight. He was stupid and his parents also bear some responsibility. Would he have grown up to be a decent member of society? Maybe, maybe not but it doesn't break my heart he's dead. Why on earth would it?

Sapphirensteel · 02/08/2022 14:18

I feel sorry for their family. No one wants that knock on the door, your life changes for ever in an instant.
All teens do daft things , I look back at some things me and my friends did and wonder how no one died ( hanging by one hand off the open platform of a moving bus, hitch hiking at 14/15) tho they were pretty tame.

FlorettaB · 02/08/2022 14:18

My reaction is what a waste of a life. So many teenagers and young adults go through a period of antisocial behaviour and come out the other side as calmer, more mature adults who go on to have children of their own. Whatever they were doing at the time they died they were still someone’s baby and they’ll never get the chance to to do something they’re proud of, to hold their own baby or to look back and reflect on what they did as a teenager and how they’ve changed.

ThanksAntsThants · 02/08/2022 14:20

I always think it’s a hell of a price to pay for being young and stupid. I also think I hope to God that’s never my child.

CalistoNoSolo · 02/08/2022 14:21

Anothernamechangeplease · 02/08/2022 14:17

What a cold way of looking at the world.

I don't suppose that many of us will be a huge loss to humanity when we die. However, this young child's death will nevertheless be a monumental loss to those who loved and cared for him. I find it strange that you seem to feel no compassion.

Show quote history

Maybe i'm cold, maybe its just another point of view.

IsThisNormal123 · 02/08/2022 14:21

honestly… I think, what a waste of a life, to do something reckless that kills you.

also, if that reckless act endangers others, e.g. speeding or drink driving, I have more sympathy those who’s lives’ were at risk.

Penguinfeather781 · 02/08/2022 14:26

I think it’s sad, every death is sad. I live in an area with similar issues with kids and motorbikes and them pulling ridiculous stunts and at some point one of them is almost certainly going to get very seriously hurt. As annoying and loud and dangerous as they are I don’t think they deserve to die. But I’ll also be relieved if they don’t take anyone “innocent” with them - round here they’re riding mopeds on footpaths at speed and I’d not be surprised if they killed a pedestrian at some point.

Their parents know perfectly well what they are up to though, they buy them the machines and they’re forever on local FB sites defending their children’s idiocy as “having fun” and “living life”.

Moonface123 · 02/08/2022 14:34

Some youngsters are naturally programmed to be high risk takers, humanity would never have survived this far otherwise had we played it too safe. Its unrealistic to expect otherwise. Youngsters unfortunately make poor choices, he paid a high price for it and so have his family, some of the comments on here are harsh.

Fuuuuuckit · 02/08/2022 14:34

I have been the victim of crime perpetrated by teenagers, one of whom was later killed whilst doing something illegal.

Of course its devastating to lose a child. But I have zero personal feeling other than the trajectory of his life was heading that way.

I feel the same about some of the posts on fb for missing kids. One I knew very well, was a complete hooligan, lots of petty crime - graffiti, shoplifting, burglary, shouting obscenities at the elderly, awful to classmates, his parents, was a menace to our local community. But hundreds of 'shared Lancs/Kent/Edinburgh' posts later and I'm afraid I was thinking actually it would be better if he didn't come home.