Be honest what's your reaction when you hear of a young person...

[EhatBow]

Killed doing something anti social/criminal?

A school aged teen died here last night. Well after midnight, on a motorbike.

He and his friends are part of a group who've been causing quite a disturbance late at night/early hours in residential streets for several weeks.

I always think there but for the grace.... I haven't always known what my DC are up to and you have to let them spread their wings and trust them at some point, although at that age they wouldn't have been out regularly after midnight.

My heart breaks for parents who made decisions they must now be regretting, but as you can imagine, the reaction locally has been "mixed".

A good friend of mine lost her 20yo only child a few years ago. He crashed his car driving far too fast. The response was venomous, but these are still someone's child 😥

*local not lock

I think it depends, is a mixture.

for his family and loved ones obviously it is a tragedy, regardless of the circumstances. And the circumstances become largely irrelevant.

drug deaths, I find harder to feel sympathy. Everyone knows the risks, and it feels like “ you know the potential consequences and you thought, wrongly, that your were too special for the the laws of physics”.

but there is one group I fucking despise, and that’s the friends of teenagers who died from drugs who vampire off those deaths into their thirties/forties and fifties. All “my poor tragic friend” when they have responsibility in the death. If you were with someone who died taking drugs you weren’t ever their friend, and should hang your head in shame.

How do you know he didn't steal the bike? Are you saying his parents bought it for him?

Yes. I wasn't a road bike.

And ffs will you stop lauding antisocial behaviour as "non rule following" as if it's something special that elevates these people to a higher plane?
It's quite ridiculous. None of these teen hooligans are going to change the world in any positive way.

The people , apologists for these kids who actually are often truly feral - have you experienced the consequences of their behaviour personally?
Because 14 year olds can and do commit robberies , assaults , the little gang I referred to earlier were stealing mopeds at knifepoint by 14 .

Of course it's sad when kids die . But some kids can't be saved from what they've become .

I've two adult kids . No one is perfect but hell - you are in cloud cuckoo land if you think they're all innocent little souls who lost their way .
The lad I dealt with from 11 - his pnc print was 63 pages long by time he was 17 - I know this because I had to read it cover to cover to get the little darling remanded after a robbery at knifepoint.

It's tragic ,there was a fifteen year old young lad stabbed to death around the corner from where I live about a year ago at about four in the morning there were lots of comments about what he was doing out so early
But how anyone can the the pointless Death of a young lad is anything but tragic is beyond me

You said motorbike in your op.
What sort of motorbike was it that was suitable for a 14 year old?

It will have been an off road bike

You aren't going to get completely honest answers on such a monitored forum.

I don't think it's uncommon for people to have less sympathy - as in less moved by such a death where the person was acting reckless or anti social.

But most people aren't heartless, if they saw the face or knew the person they'd feel terrible about it.

... and some people still won't care or just be callous

If someone dies speeding, I often don't care, no matter the age. Yes, they were young and stupid, but we know the damage speeding can do. It can kill innocent people and children etc, the same as being on your phone or driving drunk. I can't say I have sympathy.

I am in a WhatsApp group with a bunch of people I've never met, but we mutually started talking online through a Facebook group. There is one man in there who is considerably younger than us at 19, and he has mentioned before drink driving or speeding (not bragging, but say he's been drinking heavily heavily the night before and gets up far too early driving, too early to be sober and safe enough to drive) and I just think "Well if you die, it serves you right" and no, I wouldn't feel bad for it. He could kill people.

It's horribly sad.

I don't think much of anyone who is unable to find empathy in these circumstances is missing a piece of humanity

Martin Luther King was considered a delinquent teen. No, these lads probably won't, but if you're going to write them off at 14yo, I wonder why?

I wouldn’t have sympathy. I’m not proud of that sentiment, but it’s my honest answer.
Very sadly, in your example, I might actually think about who may have been saved from a future accident thanks to this. Other road users and pedestrians, especially young children. Again, not proud of it. But that’s how I feel. Young people do stupid things. If a young person dies of an overdose or because they did some kind of stupid stunt, yes I’d feel sad for them. But you don’t have to be a grown up to take into account other people and their safety into account - when people are like you say ‘causing a disturbance for several weeks’ and pissing about in a way that puts other people at risk my sympathy ends there.

I don't think me writing them off will be the cause of their unrealised potential, somehow.

I’ve not read all the responses, only the OP. This is something I’ve thought about a few times as there has been a few incidents around here recently. Not so long ago three 15,16&17 year olds drove a stolen van the wrong way down the motorway and killed two people in the vehicle they crashed into. Two of the teens died as well. I can’t feel too sorry for the teens when they have killed innocent people.
We have teens riding around on stolen motorbikes often in town. No helmets and driving like total idiots, a few months ago one of them hit my DD while she was crossing the road (thankfully not seriously injured) but they didn’t even stop to see if she was ok.

Then on the other hand, I have a teen DS, I know he’s very easily led, I try my best to always make sure I know where he is and install in him the right way to behalf but there is always that little niggle of what If he did someone stupid just once. Could I imagine all the backlash you would get and hate for the family.

I have to be honest, I'm quite a cold-hearted, selfish person. There is some woman around my way, every other night in the early hours of the morning stumbling around outside drunk or something, screaming for her boyfriend, arguing with him, sitting on the floor crying and shouting. She clearly has some issues, but I honestly wouldn't care if she died, I get tempted to throw fucking eggs at her every time. If I saw that she'd died in the local paper, I'd just be relieved that she won't be outside screaming anymore.

A 16 year old boy broke into my car (he was caught by my neighbour) and later hanged himself, there was no connection between the two things i.e. he was never charged so no potential court action.

I am a decent human being so actually managed to have empathy towards a boy who thought this was the only way out and his parents and wider family.

I grew up in a really rough area and the majority of the teenage troublemakers matured and have decent lives now.

If there is a kid who has gone missing who has been a menace to his community and his parents the same then it is likely he is very troubled. The best option would for him to be found and given some support to live a better life.

I am shocked at the callousness of a lot of posters on this thread.

If you were with someone who died taking drugs you weren’t ever their friend, and should hang your head in shame.

I disagree with this. As a teen, many of my friends took drugs, including me. We were all friends. But likewise, if I'm at a bar with my friend and she goes off the the toilet and takes a line of coke, then dies, how does that mean I'm not her friend? I mean I was there. Am I meant to prize it out of her hands and treat her like a child? I can only advise, if she wants to take it, it's her choice.

If someone dies speeding, I often don't care, no matter the age.

If someone goes at extreme speed , they are incredibly selfish. As in, 100mph on a 70 road, just unjustifiable, terrible behaviour. I wouldn't necessarily be glad, but I'd be glad if nobody else was hurt, or could be.

That could be anyone's family killed by such behaviour, so it really is hard to be sympathetic. A stupid accident that is more or less harmless to the wider community, I'd feel differently about.

A friend doesn’t support a friend taking drugs. A “drug taking mate” does that, sorry that your too thick to know the difference.

You might identify as their friend, but you were just a pack of users.

… and despite the evidence to the contrary I’m not too thick, usually, to know when your and you’re should be used in a sentence.

Tbh, these stories of young tearaways always remind me of Fiona Pilkington. I had a black friend who regularly had fireworks shoved through his letterbox, he was a lovely bloke, they could have killed him.

I’m always aghast though at the age of many of this children, firstly because of how awfully they behaved, anti social doesn’t cover it, it’s often harassment, property damage and assault. And secondly because they are often so young and you can’t help to feel that many of them are a direct consequence of some seriously shit parenting. Not all but a good many of them.

kids do stupid shit, terrorising other people on a habitual basis is not just teenage hi-jinx. You do have to wonder what kind of families these kids have.

People can be very cruel, especially the self-righteous. I hope your friend did not give the opinions of nasty people a second thought.

I feel for the parents no one should have to bury their child.
But if they're old enough to be out doing stupid things then unfortunately there's sometimes a consequence. They know what they doing and what risks they're are.
I mean whats a school age child doing out past midnight.