Be honest what's your reaction when you hear of a young person...

[EhatBow]

Killed doing something anti social/criminal?

A school aged teen died here last night. Well after midnight, on a motorbike.

He and his friends are part of a group who've been causing quite a disturbance late at night/early hours in residential streets for several weeks.

I always think there but for the grace.... I haven't always known what my DC are up to and you have to let them spread their wings and trust them at some point, although at that age they wouldn't have been out regularly after midnight.

My heart breaks for parents who made decisions they must now be regretting, but as you can imagine, the reaction locally has been "mixed".

A good friend of mine lost her 20yo only child a few years ago. He crashed his car driving far too fast. The response was venomous, but these are still someone's child 😥

Death is a huge price to pay for doing something stupid, especially when young. So I do think "what a waste".
But my honest opinion when I hear of things that is that it is almost certainly a parenting failure. That's not something I would say to anyone in real life, but that is what I think. And I do have teenagers.

There is a boy in my ds9's class whose parents bought him an electric scooter. I don't know if it's the kind that is illegal in public or not, but it goes very fast and this boy who is 9 rides it to school every day. He rides at full speed on the pavement right up to your ankles and then just before hitting you, he swerves quickly into the road without looking. This happens every morning and afternoon, parents never tell him off or to slow down, not to mention why does a 9 year old have something that goes so fast. This is the kind of kid that will be out all night at 14 climbing on shop roofs and being anti social.

Passing sympathy. Both for the dead and their family.
It's awful and a waste of life, but I couldn't mourn someone I didn't know. I feel this way be they a teen or someone in their 50s or older.

Where I live 3 young lads were involved in a crash all young teens early hours the driver survived, as far as I know is still in hospital. I feel incredibly sorry for the parents and family. But the death has no impact on my life, so I feel nothing more than sorry for the families involved.

I'm afraid to say that in our village there would be much delight as there is a gang of feral teens causing a lot of trouble.

They aren't local they travel from the town on their bikes and wreak havoc.

I wouldn't be a [person celebrating but there are plenty who would be.

This what sick bastard would have any other reaction

When I was new in my job it used to really upset me .

I realised I had become hardened to it when last year a one teen crime wave locally decided to take a car for a spin at over 100mph with his 2 equally roguish mates . He couldn't drive and didn't have a licence .
He crashed . They all died at the scene .

I had dealt with the teen since age 11 . He had gone from out of control kid to armed robbery in the space of 7 years and an awful lot of stuff in between. He caused misery to all his victims . It does make me sad as a mother but I'm just glad he didn't kill any innocents . (His mates were not nice but of course everyone crawled out of the woodwork to say what loveable rogues they all were ) He was failed by his family and social services. But if you live by the sword , you tend to die by it . I don't think there was much sympathy . Sad . But now they aren't terrorising anyone .

Seriously. If you had your sleep disturbed a few times you'd think so what that a 14th year old child lost his life?? So glad I don't know people like you. You should be ashamed of your perfect sec

This is what makes mumsnet so interesting, I guess. You get to see what people are really like under the veneer that they put on to the outside world.

I am genuinely surprised at how many posters on this thread seem to be so utterly callous and devoid of basic compassion. I think very few people would be willing to show this callous side of themselves in real life. It's fascinating and depressing in equal measure, but it explains a lot.

@clpsmum you have clearly never had your life made a misery by any of these scrotes. Haven't a gang hanging around in front of your house. Excrement through your letterbox. Wheelie bin set alight, windows smashed. The constant and relentless state of terror over what they will do next.
Trust me, if one of these "lovable rogues" was killed by their own stupidity I would be popping a champagne cork and I can assure you I'm not the only one with those thoughts!

A similar situation locally here too, the boy was 15, and a mixed reaction across social media.

The loss of a young life is always tragic, regardless of the circumstances. However, I do believe that things happen for a reason, and if it makes other youngsters stop and think about their own risky behaviours, then some good comes out of it.

That being said, it never ceases to amaze me that parents/carers don’t have conversations with their kids, they don’t set out expectations, boundaries and simply don’t speak enough about dangerous and risky behaviour. Yet, they appear happy to allow their kids out at all times of day/night, pay little or no interest in the company they’re keeping, enable access to motorbikes, quad bikes etc and quite happily allow them to vape, drink, smoke from a young age.

14! That is tragic but why on earth was he allowed out in the early hours at that age. I couldn’t imagine my 14 year old being out and about after midnight, causing disturbances etc. Unfortunately the lack of parental boundaries can cause unnecessary tragedy, I remember it happening to some youngsters killed in a stolen car at all hours, instead of being safely at home. 😕

A schoolfriend of my brothers lost his life while riding the back of a friend´s motorbike at 100 km/h through a residential street limited to 50 km/h. He was thrown against a wall and died instantly. We were all horrified, pleased they didn´t kill anyone else. He was also a student of my mum´s, we knew his family. His mother was practically destroyed by his death, years of deep depression a shadow of what she had been. So you can be horrified that such a young life wasted while relieved no one else was killed.

I think it's terrible and my heart goes out to the family.

Too much coldness on this thread.

Too many perfect parents, not my child, got what they deserved, stupid idiots etc.

At the end of the day a child died. A 14 year old child died. That is nothing but tragic. An extremely sad, shocking, dreadful waste of a young life.

You know what? I am glad I am moved, I am glad that I feel sad, I am glad that I feel sympathy and empathy. I cannot imagine feeling any other way.

The ugliest thing I have ever seen is a human being without compassion.

A couple of years ago, 4 lads got killed by a horrific car accident (police chase) during the night. One of them was a local lad who owned the powerful sports car. He was an awful person, had no care for the safety of others around him. Behaved like he was the king of the road. That same car they were driving almost smashed into me a week or 2 before the accident that killed them. I had also seen the same car previously pulling into our street and the driver refused to give way to another car whose right of way it was. The other driver was an elderly man on his own. The young lad driving then spat at the old man’s car hurled a bottle of coke at him. I reported it to the police as unsafe driving and being a nuisance on the road. Anyway, when the tragic accident happened the whole community started writing messages of condolences on Facebook. There was a huge funeral and they were treated like heroes.
I was sad that it came to this, but I was also relieved that it was them that lost their lives and not innocent law abiding citizens. I was also relieved that their deaths would be a lesson for many young people who looked up to them and realised that such behaviour and attitude can very quickly escalate into a situation like this.

Kids sneak out, kids go off the rails, kids get out windows, down drainpipes, run away, say they are staying over in friends houses. Some of those parents are good parents who have tried their best, so that sweeping statement about your 14 year old tucked up safely in bed every night might not always be the way it is going to be. Don't be smug.

Yes if 20 odd years of parenting have taught me anything it's that just because you seem to have the whole thing licked today, doesn't mean you will tomorrow and just as you start to feel a bit smug about how well you've done/are doing is when the wheels come off.

I understand what you mean.

A school peer of mine died cycling home in a Storm. He was blown off his bike and went under the car behind him.

Car driver will never get over that I shouldn't think but school peer was drunk.

We'll never know how much that contributed to the accident over the weather (likely a combo of both) but as a bunch of 13/14yo who had lost a peer it was the elephant in the room.

Many years ago near me some neighbours son had a party whilst they were away for the weekend. Quite normal. Drinking vodka from a bottle - dangerous but not unheard of being that pissed at a teen petty when parents are away.

But they were driving around on his moped - boys in just shorts and girls in mini skirts (belts!) and crop tops and none were wearing shoes.

I rang the police. They couldn't come - there had been a murder in next town and all busy.

I asked how they'd feel if one of these teens ended up dead because no one stopped them. They weren't impressed and even suggested I go and have a word!!!

Christ however annoying or anti social the teen was I wouldn’t wish them dead 🙄. Monstrous reaction.

Exactly. Pride comes before a fall. You never can tell what way a child is going to go so you may be sitting pretty now but you can swiftly get kicked off your throne in the blink of an eye.

Absolutely agree no parent of teens can ever afford to be smug…

Waste of a life. But I don’t really care, the off road bikes around me are a nightmare. They don’t wear helmets or stop at junctions.

People make stupid decisions all the time. I don't think anyone makes these sort of decisions and fully processes what it means to die, I always feels sympathy.

I work with a lot of people who have essentially survived doing stupid things, some with life changing injuries and there's every sort of person, sometimes it's just one decision that spirals, sometimes its many decisions but it's almost always someone being an idiot rather than an innate unpleasant character. Never think it wouldn't be my son/daughter because it could so easily be.

It's also very easy to think as an adult I would never do that, as an adult I would question that person, I wouldn't give into peer pressure etc.

But as a 14 Yr old I was easily led, found it hard to say no and question people. I was bored a lot of the time. I did stupid things, because I wanted to have fun, wanted to be liked and didn't want to be seen as boring. I also definitely thought it wouldn't be me - because generally I was well behaved, middle class and not the type of person to say be in a drunk driver crash. The sort of attitude that it's not my son or daughter is often what leads to tragedies, people assume it won't be them and they are somehow safer than others doing stupid things.

I never did anything insanely stupid or dangerous to others but I do look back and think what the fuck was I thinking, and can see how it could easily have been me woth the right sort of peer pressure, right time.

I always think it’s so unfairly tragic. Such a waste of a life. We all did stupid things as teenagers, although possibly not to the extent you’re talking about but there is always time to change. Their future is snuffed out in a moment, their poor parents.

Whatever you think about the teen and whether they deserved it, surely one must feel sad for the parents who lost a child to such tragic circumstances. Especially if they tried to give their child a good education.