'Breast is Best'

[OddSocksandRainbowDocs]

It's National Breastfeeding Week and I've seen the phrase 'Breast is Best' banded about quite a few times.

Whilst I agree breastfeeding is scientifically better, some mothers (myself included) physically could not breastfeed so chose to formula feed instead. I was made to feel like a failure by a midwife for choosing to do so.

My little one is now one and a half. She is happy, she is healthy.

I don't know who needs to hear this but 'Breast is Best' isn't always the case. 'Fed is Best' is most definitely the case. It doesn't matter how you feed your baby, as long as the baby is fed, that is all that matters

I couldn't breast feed, ds couldn't latch, i found it painful, I was so incredibly engorged that even the midwife couldn't milk me until I was attached to a pump, even then it was a piss poor amount mixed with lots of blood from sore cracked nipples. But I was determined to breast feed ds, in the end I expressed for 6 months, I used a manual pump and gave myself rsi in both thumbs. But it meant he could be fed by his dad, by grandparents I think it was the best choice for our family.

Each to their own. But honestly, when there is an alternative liquid you can use on which your baby will thrive perfectly well, then putting yourself through all that for six months, injuring your hands in the process, is just plain daft in my opinion. Principles over brains and common sense.

Missed my point about people not being able to tell who was fed what

Awful as that is, what do you feel should be ‘done’ about it? And is it relevant to formula feeding mums now?

Because breastfeeding is HARD and is usually painful to begin with. Why not celebrate those mothers who persevered? It doesn’t have to be a slight against those who give up (unless they choose to take it that way).

People keep saying this. But I have never heard a breastfeeding advocate say that if you breastfeed your baby when they get older anyone will be able to tell if they were breastfed or not.

Wow! What a lovely bunch of people making mothers who could not breastfeed to feel guilty.

I wanted to breastfeed. I couldn't. It was impossible. And I have been to BF clinics etc and I still couldn't do it.

Thanks for making me feel guilty!

Encourage breastfeeding 🤷‍♀️

Breastfeeding is the physiological norm, anything else is lacking. No NHS trust uses the term breast is best.

Make your choice and own that decision. No one can make you feel anything. Most mothers who argue fed is best start their argument with all the barriers they met with breastfeeding, so they obviously wanted to do in the first place, and originally believed it was the optimum choice.

I totally get the dairy intolerance, I'm in the same position myself and chose to cut dairy out of my own diet. But that's why informed and supported is best. You made an informed decision that was right for your family.

The guilt comes from you. No one else can make you feel guilty,

Who's celebrating it? Yes, because of the dismal breastfeeding rates work is done to promote it but there's no fanfare.

Because breastfeeding is HARD and is usually painful to begin with. Why not celebrate those mothers who persevered? It doesn’t have to be a slight against those who give up (unless they choose to take it that way).

Exactly. It's an personal achievement when you pull through after trying to establish it. That doesn't mean we need to asterisk everything, just for saying that.

Also, it seems to be mostly FF mums who feel guilty. Why are you feeling guilty? Disappointed if you wanted to have the experience, sure. But guilty? It's like some secretly think breast is best hence the defensiveness at something that doesn't matter.

Totally agree that people who have thought through the benefits and drawbacks and made whatever the decision based on their own situation have nothing to feel guilty about.

This idea that no-one must EVER say that breastmilk is best or that formula is adequate but not the best just in case someone feels guilty is nuts.

It’s World Breastfeeding Awareness Week.

The Uk has chronically under invested in breastfeeding support for decades, despite continuing the rhetoric that (scientifically) breast is best. This is where so much of the guilt comes from.

This is the problem because whilst breast is best it’s not necessarily easy and many women need far more support than is available or given. Most midwives don’t have specialist BF training to support a good latch and we routinely do not get told what the realities of breastfeeding a baby are.

Research shows that many women stop breastfeeding way sooner than they are ready to, and that’s tbe saddest thing - a mum wants to feed her baby, it’s really hard, really sore, HC professionals don’t have the skills and or time to nurture/there’s no drop ins close by. Mum is expected, with all the hormones and life turning upside down to seek out support. So mum uses formula. All the while feeling incredibly guilty.

Informed is best. Supported is best. Informed about what BF is actually like. Informed about where to seek support, plus easy access to this. Supported by HCP that understand the realities of BF. Supported by families and friends.

Respecting choices (eg to FF) is all well and good, but we need to make sure these are actual choices, rather than choices made because access to support for BF wasn’t there, as for many mums it just isn’t.

I absolutely support anyone a choice to FF. But we need to do so much better at providing support for BF.

OP, to me it sounds like you know you did what was best for your baby in the moment, but that it wasn’t your initial choice. I’m so sorry you weren’t supported 💐

@SnowdropsInSpring actually no, I was content with my decision to feed my baby formula. It's some vile posters on this thread who have made me feel guilty and inadequate!

We should encourage women to breastfeed to get revenge on formula companies?

Have you read some of the accounts on here?

Well my breast wasn’t best because it didn’t produce milk. It’s just a stupid slogan.
Studies into the benefits of breast milk are misleading. I am the only formula fed baby of all my siblings and I am the only one who isn’t overweight with significant allergies and health problems. I’m also the only one that did well academically.

But objectively, and without emotion, breast is best.

Basically, this ^^
But fed is best if you can't or don't want to breast feed.

No, honey. The difference is you feel guilty about not breastfeeding, but nobody comes up to you in the street and says “you awful mother not naturally feeding your baby!”

However breastfed mothers do get people coming up to them in the street and abusing them for feeding in public.

What does best mean? Nutritionally, breast is better, can't really argue with that. If a mother is in pain, not sleeping, baby not settling, poor supply, depressed etc then she can't give her best to all the other aspects of care and so switching to formula might be best all round.

Ah I remember the days when this was such a big deal to me.

Don't any of you worry about a thing. Feed your baby and be content and happy with your choices. In 6 months you can make them delicious nutritious weaning food and in just a year or so it's all behind you. Don't let stress about feeding take over in those precious early months.

@SnowdropsInSpring its using terminology like ‘give up’ breastfeeding that’s problematic. I’d love you to say to my sil who was in ICU for FOUR WEEKS in a coma after birth going very wrong and being on such strong meds that it wasn’t safe to express the milk either. Also a friend who was on chemo days after giving birth. There’s all sorts of reasons women cannot breastfeed it’s not that rare.

Oh come on. Surely nobody thinks that this sort of wee story is in any way scientific.

I said breastfeeding should be encouraged. I didn’t say anything about getting revenge on formula companies. You decided to read it that way.

So true, no difference at all.