'Breast is Best'

[OddSocksandRainbowDocs]

It's National Breastfeeding Week and I've seen the phrase 'Breast is Best' banded about quite a few times.

Whilst I agree breastfeeding is scientifically better, some mothers (myself included) physically could not breastfeed so chose to formula feed instead. I was made to feel like a failure by a midwife for choosing to do so.

My little one is now one and a half. She is happy, she is healthy.

I don't know who needs to hear this but 'Breast is Best' isn't always the case. 'Fed is Best' is most definitely the case. It doesn't matter how you feed your baby, as long as the baby is fed, that is all that matters

@Flittingaboutagain I didn't 'sack it off because it was hard', I 'sacked it off' because it physically wasn't happening.

Posters saying people just gave up because it was hard are missing the point.

Firstly everyone is allowed different preferences anyway whether they even want to try and bf in the first place is up to them. We are not just vessels for babies we are women.

Secondly, there's nothing wrong with stopping when things are hard, as you say babies are hard so sometimes you have to choose your hard. You can't win every battle, and that's what breastfeeding feels like to some women, a battle.

And a breast fed baby that goes on to be weaned on those junk foods, and continues to eat them a lot throughout their childhood will not have good long term health outcomes.

A formula fed baby who is weaned onto a healthy nutritious diet however, will have be much more likely to have good long term health.

So it’s not the breast milk or formula that actually makes the difference.

It’s in response to this idea that if you feed your baby, you’re going above and beyond and the stupidity of the phrase “fed is best”. Not fed is abuse. If you have a baby the absolute bare minimum you do is feed it and keep it clean. Anything else is a bonus.

This is a really bad idea for a thread OP… I predict it will not end well!

A baby who is not hungry and grows healthily & well is the goal. It doesn’t matter how you do that- it’s a multitude of choices we all have to make from 0-18 years old and there’s no right or wrong.

Also wtf is ‘national breastfeeding week’.. please come on. I don’t think we need another themed week in the world really!!!

Breast is best though and I say this as someone whose baby was formula fed. There were reasons why I couldn't continue BF, despite desperately wanting to. Fed is what's necessary. But breast is best.

Yes, the pertinent word here is default. I was so shocked that in a bay of 6 women, only one other was opting to breastfeed. They had all pre decided to formula feed. Why?

Anyway, the problem isn't the message that breast is best, it is the support. If I hadn't been so determined, only 1 out of 6 mothers on my bay would have breastfed.

"Fed" is a pretty low bar.

Parents should not expect cheers and applause for meeting a basic human need. You dressed your baby to keep him/her warm - go you! Whoop Whoop!

Breastmilk is best for babies. No debate over that. There is a whole other side issue about women not wanting to, being failed by midwives/health visitors when they tried to, being shamed for wanting to feed in public, attitudes from relatives and all the rest of it.

But the scientific fact is that breast IS best, except in an exceptionally small number of mothers with serious medical issues.2

I started this thread in the hope it will help just one person who is struggling/has struggling or was made to feel like a failure. If people don't agree, then so be it

I always hate this kind of fight over breastfeeding awareness week post. Breastfeeding, for most women, is hard - whether that be in the beginning with latch or supply issues, or further down the line with the sacrifice that is required to be the sole nutrition source for a baby 24/7, or even further down the line when you're watching a toddler use your body as soft play while they're latched on. Why is it never ok to celebrate and raise awareness of breastfeeding without having to always caveat it with "but formula is fine too".

I bf all of mine. Hated every second of doing it. My eldest was allergic to almost everything I ate and screamed day and night, covered in a rash, while I excluded more and more from my diet.

If I had another, would I do it? Probably for a couple of weeks. Bf can be a miserable experience for many women. Why do formula fed babies thrive if it's such a bad thing?

My DM spend two weeks clinging to life in kidney failure after my Dsis was born and had to ff. Dsis is a highly regarded niche professional who earns five hundred an hour.

I didn't 'sack it off because it was hard', I 'sacked it off' because it physically wasn't happening

But you said you'd already decided you would stop "the minute it became hard"

I think this is a broader problem in terms of how we prepare women for the reality of having a baby. If women were properly educated on breastfeeding, rather then just being told it is "best" and being left to get on with it alone, tell them all the benefits but also, it can be very hard at first and you can experience a number of problems but if you keep going and have the right support you will emerge out of the other side and find it is easy, beautiful, FREE and much more convenient (I have 2dcs and never used a bottle/steriliser/perfect prep or any of that palaver).

There’s a very good reason why the breastfeeding lobby - or some of them - are called the Breastapo.

And I say that as someone who breastfed both my babies.
IMO people should just be so grateful that if, for whatever reason, breastfeeding is difficult or impossible, there is a safe, reasonably affordable alternative available just about everywhere.

Women in many countries are not so lucky.

The vast majority of women are physically able to breastfeed. But in this country breastfeeding isn't supported and encouraged. It isn't seen as normal and many new mums have quite unrealistic expectations of it.

If that's the case then, why do we celebrate breast feeding? Surely it's just 'meeting a basic human need' as you put it?

Bodily autonomy is best.

And I say that as a lifetime boycotter of nestle and Brest feeding advocate/peer supporter.

Breast feeding is of course preferable for baby.

But women making decisions about their own bodies trumps it all.

Breastapo 🤣

Not seen as normal? Breastfeeding was the only thing that was pushed, pushed and pushed again throughout my pregnancy. That's why when women can't breastfeed and choose to formula feed, they are made to feel like a failure.

If you take everything else out of it, breast is best.
however it’s a package deal, the milk and the mothers time/health. And I think people are quick to dismiss that.

It’s weighing up the benefits to the cost.

In my opinion breast is absolutely not best if it comes as a package deal with a depressed, miserable and sleep deprived mother, or a mum that can’t make enough milk so baby is hungry and mum is again sleep deprived and riddled with guilt.
or any other number of situations where the ‘package deal’ that comes with breast milk, makes it not best at all for the baby or the mum.

New mothers should be encouraged to breastfeed and given support to make it successful.

I struggled with my first child to breastfeed. With my second child it was a lot easier due to extra support.

Not everyone can breastfeed and that’s ok.

The winner of the best comment is...

I just don’t think a lot of mums prioritise breastfeeding, which is probably quite alien to many posters on mumsnet. Most of the new mums I know give it a go for a few weeks then switch to bottle if they feel it’s not worth the effort. The benefits really aren’t big enough to sacrifice your emotional or physical well-being.

I completely agree OP that ‘fed is best’. With my DS I tried to BF but felt pressure from the post natal midwives to keep persevering whilst DS was so close to being hospitalised due to jaundice. At my wits end and at 2am in the morning I decided to give formula. No midwife told me the reason he was jaundice was because he wasn’t drinking enough via BF otherwise I would have switched sooner. I felt as though because I said I wanted to BF that no other options were considered (even if medically necessary) and that we would not be discharged from hospital until we could do it confidently and consistently. I would have preferred to try to establish BF at home with support from family, friends and midwives/HV.

Crisps, chocolate and pizza is fed. Nutritious food is best.

I don’t agree with ‘breast is best’ - neither do I agree with ‘fed is best’ - but I’m generally a hater of naff rhyming or near rhyming slogans…

I do agree that breast milk as a substance has superior qualities to formula milk. There’s lots of evidence out there to confirm it but the obvious first hand evidence for me is that formula I’m supposed to use up within an hour or so of preparing it while my expressed breast milk can apparently sit it the fridge for a whole week because of it’s antibacterial properties. It’s definitely got something special going on.

But that does not mean formula is akin to fast food. I think it’s more like comparing a nutritious yet simple meat, potatoes and two veg meal (formula) to a fancy quinoa and avocado salad with other ‘superfood’ ingredients (breastmilk). Fact is, although chai seeds and bulgar wheat may pack a slightly higher nutritional punch, but you don’t need to feed it to your kids for them to thrive. They will thrive perfectly well on your regular chicken, new potatoes, broccoli and carrots.

Breast feeding doesn’t work for everyone, so obviously it’s not always ‘best’. Mine couldn’t latch to my breast for ten days, he had a severe tongue tie - so grabbing a bottle was obviously ‘best’. The other option was to let him go hungry…

That’s right. Compare breastfeeding mothers to the gestapo 🙄🤦‍♀️