'Breast is Best'

[OddSocksandRainbowDocs]

It's National Breastfeeding Week and I've seen the phrase 'Breast is Best' banded about quite a few times.

Whilst I agree breastfeeding is scientifically better, some mothers (myself included) physically could not breastfeed so chose to formula feed instead. I was made to feel like a failure by a midwife for choosing to do so.

My little one is now one and a half. She is happy, she is healthy.

I don't know who needs to hear this but 'Breast is Best' isn't always the case. 'Fed is Best' is most definitely the case. It doesn't matter how you feed your baby, as long as the baby is fed, that is all that matters

It's always a real giveaway when someone thinks the only reason someone could disagree with them is because they take it personally. It's a real inability to understand that things function on a level above the playground insult.

I don't have 'a' baby, hun, I have triplets. And I'm breastfeeding them all right now. I thought you knew everything about me?

I take issue with the OP saying "breastfeeding mothers are not shamed"
For a start, how can she possibly know what the experience is for some one who did things differently to her? Try feeding your infant after 6 months and see how many negative, disbelieving, nosey comments you get about it.
Surely the real issue is that mothers are shamed and feel guilty about so many of their experiences and choices. And yet once again, we have someone starting a thread to bring out the divisions.

@Namechangenoidea Where do you get that from? I agree breastfed babies might wake more often as breastmilk is less calorie dense than formula, but I don't know where you get the rest from.

Breastfeeding might be harder for the initial stages (not always) but I don't think it is after that. You don't have to buy formula and sterilise and make up bottles. You have an easy way to soothe your baby any time, any place. Plus breastfeeding makes problems like ear infections and stomach upsets less likely.

It is best though. That doesn't mean to say formula feeding is bad, it's just breast is better.
If you don't have a choice, you don't have a choice.

Nobody is telling you that you can't be proud of the fact you breastfed your children.

But using formula is fine too and doesn't make any of us bad parents for choosing that route. .

this Is why I hate middle class mums

so glad I don’t live in motherlandville

Breast is best.
Not everyone can breastfeed.
Formula is better than not fed.

There is no doubt that breast milk is more beneficial than formula. Why lie?

@Whiskeypowers congrats hun on using big words

but even if FF is a choice that is fine too.........

My baby had a freak reaction to meds I was on. We almost lost him and the doctors all said it couldn't be down to my meds and that ds was a mystery

If it wasn't for 1 doctor who said he'd seen the reaction before and told me to stop feeding him we'd have lost him.

The bitch of a bf support worker's parting words were " we know mummy's milk is best" as she left the room the day I stopped feeding him

Stop making mums feel like crap, I'm pretty sure we're all riddled with guilt about everything else as it is!

Why would you feel like crap over something so minute! Nobody is making anybody feel that way. If they do, it's because they think BiB themselves, nothing else.

In some countries breastfeeding rates are above 90% and in years gone by even higher yet in the U.K. 40% of women claim they couldn't breastfeed. I'm not doubting it can be difficult, I'm not doubting there can be a lack of timely support, but in reality very few women cannot breastfeed with perseverance and in my experience it is those who found it hard and gave up who are trying to use the fed is best slogan to make themselves feel better.

Feed your baby however you want but breastfeeding is better just like a well balanced home prepared meal with fresh steamed vegetables is better than a ready meal - both fill you up but ultra processed food isn't the best idea, baby formula is ultra processed.

I would like to see far better training for home visiting midwives and a better network of both paid and volunteer lactation specialist to visit new mothers to help them, plus a helpline 24 hours a day

Whilst I agree breastfeeding is scientifically better, some mothers (myself included) physically could not breastfeed so chose to formula feed instead. I

sorry you wanted to but couldn’t

but the health of future babies shouldn’t be compromised because we don’t want to hurt mothers feelings that don’t / can’t breastfeed.

it is too important to be vague and Willy-Nilly about.

@OddSocksandRainbowDocs - thank you, thank you, thank you for this post! I too, could not breastfeed (EMCS and lots of blood loss = body failing to make milk) and was made to feel SUCH a failure by many HCPs. My DD is 16 now - happy and healthy and utterly beautiful (I'm biased, I know!), and guess what, not one person looks at her now and says, "You weren't breastfed, were you?"

I have no doubt (it's clinically proven) that breast milk is the best nutritionally, but there are many other factors at play - women who can't breastfeed and women who don't breast feed by choice should ALL be supported in their decisions, at what is usually a very stressful and emotionally / physically draining time.

Oh please let's not have the 'don't make a rod for your own back with clingy babies' nonsense please. Newborn babies are supposed to be clingy. It's a survival mechanism and perfectly normal!

Yes, fortunately enough, most formula fed children grow up to be healthy. But I can also say quite truthfully that I was a heavy smoker for 45 years and my lungs are healthy. That doesn't mean that smoking is good for everyone

Are you actually comparing FF to smoking?
As for most formula fed children grow up to be healthy.....do you honestly believe that using formula is that much of a gamble? Because you know that isn't true right?

Formula isn't unhealthy. Breast milk might be optimal but that doesn't automatically mean formula is bad.

Nuts are brilliant sources of protein.

lots of kids have allergies

should we stop educating people how great nuts are because we might hurt the mothers that can’t give their children nuts?

perhaps you could find a way to neatly segue this into some sort of online demographic profiling on me in much the same manner as you have with the breastfeeding cafe mothers and ages of breastfeeding mothers

you do seem to have made a start already. Although I should urge caution in that denigrate and spurious in my mind are not “big words” and last time I checked a hun was someone that insulted in 5th century war and combat

Where does it end?

not being clear in health messages for fear that will hurt those that can’t / or don’t want to for whatever reason

These threads never go well, OP.

You're not wrong. But many will tell you you are.

We shouldn't stop educating people, of course. But we should stop trying to make them feel like failures.

Indulged even 😂

But it isn't about 'science' for these people, not really. It's all about feelings - their need to feel superior, their need to make others feel bad, their need to see their choices validated and celebrated, their need to feel proud about something - anything, no matter how inconsequential it is.

I say this as a breastfeeding mother who is absolutely disgusted by the 'breast is best' weirdos on here. It's like a cult the way they mindlessly repeat mantras. I always think that even if there were massive life-changing health benefits to being breastfed they'd be cancelled out by the harm being raised by one of these dickheads would do.

From my life experience. I genuinely believe formula fed babies in general are more content. I don’t agree bottle is better but they’re pros and cons to both.