'Breast is Best'

[OddSocksandRainbowDocs]

It's National Breastfeeding Week and I've seen the phrase 'Breast is Best' banded about quite a few times.

Whilst I agree breastfeeding is scientifically better, some mothers (myself included) physically could not breastfeed so chose to formula feed instead. I was made to feel like a failure by a midwife for choosing to do so.

My little one is now one and a half. She is happy, she is healthy.

I don't know who needs to hear this but 'Breast is Best' isn't always the case. 'Fed is Best' is most definitely the case. It doesn't matter how you feed your baby, as long as the baby is fed, that is all that matters

Formula is fine but it's disingenuous to say you "chose to formula feed". You didn't. You couldn't breast feed so had to use formula. You clearly attempted to breastfeed and wanted to breastfeed. There must have been a reason. I suspect that reason was that you know that breast really is best. Or why would anyone choose it?

Don't keep your feelings of guilt from understanding and believing the science.

If we want to be really clear on the 'best' the hierarchy is:

• breast from mother
• breast from other healthy Biological female
• pumped milk from mother
• pumped milk from other healthy biological female
• shop bought formula
• home made formula with clear consideration for nutritional make up
• other food sources

The long term benefits to an individual child of breastfeeding in a country such as ours is very small. BUT the population level the benefits to children and VERY importantly to Women (cancer prevention, cognitive function etc) are becoming more apparent. So breast is best from a population level and to women in particular.

Gonna need sources for that

@Herejustforthisone hahaha of COURSE she was in Lucy and yak dungarees. Christ. Why is there such a ‘type’ of woman who immediately becomes a BF warrior, only shops in zero waste shops and wears dungarees, and dresses their 6month old daughter in tops that say things like ‘women rule’ whenever they become a mum 😫

you know what they need to make BF friendly clothes that are actually fashionable- that might bloody help. Giant baby dungarees aren’t the one.

Breastfeeding women are not shamed.

Yes, yes they are. Publicly and repeatedly.

I’ve had it happen to me and seen it happen to others.

The education on breastfeeding is crap. All this you'll only feel pain if latch is wrong. No it kills for first few weeks. I only knew this because between my mum and sister they breastfed 5 babies and could tell me honestly. There needs to be better peer to peer support.

I had such a rocky road. I lost a lot of blood, 2 litres and ended up very dehydrated and I think my milk just dried up. I kept going and kept going and finally the HV on day 5 suggested nipple shields and these were a savior for me as I have really small nipples ha.

I'm so proud of persevering. We should be more honest about how hard it is.

Agreed. Women often experience judgement no matter how they choose to feed- it's just that we don't see the other side if we've only fed one way. I definitely experienced shaming when I FF, but I also experienced it when I EBF. A lot of it was tied to the sexualisation of women's bodies by society.

I actually found the attitudes I encountered while BF more difficult to endure because of the suggestion that there was something indecent about what I was doing (especially feeding an older baby/toddler)- because a lot of people immediately associate breasts with sex I suppose. I'm not meaning to dismiss the experiences of mothers who FF by saying that, because I'm sure there are all sorts of unpleasant attitudes on the other side that I've had the good luck not to encounter.

I think they're just stating an objective fact (if you were to look at the composition of break milk and formula milk) but it isn't taken that way by new mothers who might be struggling and are having a load of guilt heaped onto them. It would be insensitive to say it in that situation, even if it is factually correct.

I formula fed my first baby because I couldn't breastfeed. And when I say I couldn't, I mean that my body was physically capable of producing it and my baby was capable of latching etc but the circumstances of the birth made it almost impossible. I had an eclamptic seizure just after giving birth. I spent the majority of the first week of my baby's life in intensive care while he was in the neonatal unit. I didn't even have a clue where he was. There was no pumping to be done because I was unable to move very much in case I had another seizure. The NHS had heavily pushed breastfeeding (even to the point that they wouldn't freely give out information about formula feeding in the antenatal classes I attended unless you put your hand up and specifically requested it. Unsurprisingly, most people weren't willing to put themselves forward for judgment like that) but gave absolutely no support when it came to it. I seemed to be judged and held to a much higher standard due to my age, so I was determined to do everything 'right'. As soon as I got out of intensive care, I started trying to pump. I woke myself up every three hours to try to increase my milk production. I had no support and nobody told me how to go about doing this. I wasn't able to bring my baby home until I'd successfully breastfed, so I had to stay in a room on the neonatal ward overnight to get to grips with it. He wouldn't settle and constantly cried (obviously because I was producing nowhere near enough milk at that stage) and when I asked the midwife for help, as I'd been instructed to, she snapped that she wasn't a breastfeeding expert and what did I expect her to do?

When I got home I carried on attempting it, but was told that I had to top up with formula because he was basically starving. I was then told by the consultant that I was not to get up in the night and pump or attempt breastfeeding anymore because my blood pressure was rising rather than falling and I was headed for another seizure. That pretty much put an end to it. You can't produce milk if you only partially breastfeed the baby during daytime hours and have a prolonged period of separation from birth. I was actually making myself dangerously ill in my quest to do the 'best' thing. I was gutted when I had to stop and felt a failure already. When the midwife came to do our six week check, she asked about breastfeeding and tutted and rolled her eyes when I told her that I'd had to give up after two weeks. I don't think she'd read my notes fully. I wish I could go back as an older, much more self assured mother and put her in her place because she made me feel small and pathetic at a vulnerable time.

I breastfed my second baby successfully after a bit of a bumpy start. I don't feel any guilt about how I fed either of them. I don't really think about it now.

Honestly, this seems like such a big deal when you're in the throes of it, but it fades into insignificance once your children are a bit older. I don't understand how people almost come to define themselves by how they feed their baby. It is a tiny period of your life and nobody cares afterwards.

So, I agree that it is an insensitive thing to say to a new mother at a vulnerable time but that doesn't stop it being correct. A bit like how you wouldn't tell somebody that their new haircut doesn't suit them. You might think that is the truth but you don't need to say it to that person at that moment.

I'm sorry but I completely disagree my little boy didn't latch had formula and turned out he has severe cows milk allergy which wouldn't of helped him if I was to have breast fed.

Breast has got to be better, because for a lot of women, they poured their blood and sweat into getting it to work, so it NEEDS to be better, to make their effort worthwhile*

Maybe it is a bit better, but the studies that account for the socio-economic factors show the difference is pretty negligible, and all short term. Tummy bugs (not likely to be dangerous in this country) and ear infections.

The ban on promoting formula means even if there was evidence that formula was better, or someone invented a formula that did something remarkable, the scientific community would be legally prevented from saying this. The mantra 'breast is best ' may be true, but it's the only one we are permitted to say regardless.

*Mum of one very healthy ff child, and one child with serious health problems who I bf for 2 years.

You can disagree all you like. There is no reason you can't breastfeed a child with a CMPA, at all. Your choice is fine and great and may have been the best choice for you.
But it doesn't change the overall fact.

But it is just as good. It feeds a baby, gives them nutrients and helps them grow.

No. Breastmilk is a live substance that adapts to meet the baby’s needs with each feed. It’s a two way process between the mother and her infant. If the baby gets ill the milk adapts to include antibodies. If it’s hot the milk is more watery, the more they feed the higher the fat content. A baby fed from the breast can’t be over fed and is less likely to be obese in later life. Feeding from the breast is good for the baby’s mouth development which helps earring solids and learning to talk. Breastfeeding lowers the mothers risk of several cancers.

You say you were flooded with information about the benefits of breastfeeding but since you didn’t do it you simply reject the lot and conclude cow’s milk modified with fish oil fed from a plastic teat is the same. You know it’s not the same or you wouldn’t be defensive.

There is no army of breast feeders. They’re the minority in the U.K. by a wide margin.

Most babies are formula fed and there’s nothing wrong with one week a year to highlight the benefits to a woman and her baby of breastfeeding, which is the biological norm. Pregnant women whose friends and family have all formula fed may see their only examples of breastfeeding from media in this week.

Lobby is quite an interesting choice of words when breastfeeding groups are volunteers, and bottle feeding support is companies like Nestle with access to any level of legal/marketing/PR/Actual Lobbying support.

Breastapo is a slur invented to silence women.

The medical studies are absolutely clear that breast fed children (as a group) do better health wise than their bottle fed counterparts, although the range for individual children is wide.

OP, no one wants to feel bad about their choices, and we are all sensitive to feeling defensive and prickly about things.
But have a think about the words that could have been used to help you feel happy with your choice whilst still acknowledging that breast fed children (as a group) do better health wise than their bottle fed counterparts, although the range for individual children is wide. and what if the words you wanted to hear were just wrong for others.

I agree OP I think the WHO needs to drop the breast is best thing. Even if it is the best (by a small margin)
The reason being the detrimental affect to the mental health of those who couldn't breastfeed and feel they somehow let their child down, in my opinion outweighs the possible benefits to a child of being breastfed. My child was formula fed and he's been healthy, happy and completely normal!

Not really, it’s just that anything not part of a study is anecdotal. If the differences were tiny between BF and FF kids then the studies would find this.

Again, no judgements. I don’t care what you feed your baby but I do care what I feed mine.

Interesting and true in my experience too - I have a fair amount of friends scattered around the world, and I remember crying down the phone to several of them during the early feeding woes. I remember most of them, despite being supportive of course, were entirely confused as to why I cared so much!

just off the top of my head …..

colostrum
antibodies
white blood cells
hormones including oxytocin which promote bonding
prebiotics
long chain fatty acids
enzymes

breast milk is dynamic and adaptive. Formula isn’t. Obviously.

formula contains

corn syrup
plant based oils
fish oil derived fatty acids
plant minerals
some probiotics

proteins need to be added to get the level up from cows milk to what a baby needs to make it equivalent to breastmilk naturally occurring protein levels

It feeds a baby, gives them nutrients and helps them grow.

Both formula and breastmilk contain nutrients like protein, fat, carbohydrate, vitamins and minerals. These serve the basic needs of the baby.

Where breastmilk is different (and better) is that it has bioactive components that go a bit further than just providing calories and things you need for growth. Things like antibodies and hormones that you don't get in formula.

There are also HMOs (human milk oligosaccharides) which are not digested by the body but they provide food for particular types of bacteria in the baby's gut. This steers which bacteria grow well, which in turn has impacts on the immune system and health.

That's why it's not the same. Breastmilk has a very complex combination of components that formula does not have.

Also the argument that keeps being trotted out on this thread and elsewhere about 'You can't tell when walking down the street/looking at kids in nursery who was formula fed or not' is just nonsense.

I understand the sentiment and the idea behind it, but there's absolutely loads you can't tell about a person's health just from looking at them It's a bonkers argument, frankly.

I've got no idea what health issues DD's nursery pals have that aren't visually obvious or that parents haven't told me about. How would I?

I didn't produce any milk what so ever after I had DD 16 years ago. I was extremely poorly when pregnant and basically medical staff said my body had all on keeping us both alive and there was nothing left over to produce sustenance too!

I get so mad at the 'breast is best' phrase, I physically didn't have any milk so was instantly made to feel like a failure and that DD would suffer in the future. My DD absolutely thrived on formula and despite some claims that formula fed babies don't do as well academically etc she has smashed every goal set.

After coming in the top 5% of the country for her SATS she passed her 11+ and although in all honesty she won't achieve the GCSE grades she could, purely down to her not being interested, she has started an agricultural engineering apprenticeship. She is working on combine harvesters and tractors daily, keeping them going so they in turn can keep us in food.

I fail to see where formula has had a detrimental effect on her in anyway at all and how it would've been 'best' to have been breastfed.

@Whiskeypowers now please elaborate and tell us how each one of those is eitherbeneficial or damaging? Thank you.

But it’s a poor source of vitamin D and iron. These both needs to be supplemented because breastmilk doesn’t contain enough.

Im surprised as the benefits sound astounding when written down like that, yet have so little effect on an individual’s health. I would genuinely expect them to have more of an impact.

I agree the mental health effect on women who can't feed their child is bad. I don't think dumping breastfeeding promotion is the right answer though. There is so much more we could do to support breastfeeding and help it be less of a struggle.

Some countries have almost universal breastfeeding. It helps if people live in extended families where they see others breastfeeding, there's no embarrassment about it and you grow up knowing what it looks like and how to manage things like engorgement or mastitis. Whereas in the UK often you've never seen anyone breastfeed before and your family tells you not to bother and you can't get hold of any medical professionals to help.

I get so mad at the 'breast is best' phrase, I physically didn't have any milk so was instantly made to feel like a failure and that DD would suffer in the future

Do you always get mad at facts because they don't fit in with your life?

No, OP is wrong. Breast IS best. The fact the me made you feel like a failure is your issue, and that can be addressed. Did you make a complaint about her at the time?