Music for a tricky funeral

[Lottapianos]

Planning MIL's funeral service. DP and I had a difficult relationship with her and we don't know much about her musical tastes. Would like some suggestions for tasteful, sober, respectful pieces of instrumental or sung music with the following caveats:

Nothing religious or spiritual
Nothing about love
Nothing mushy about 'family'
Nothing about what an inspiration the person was ('You Raise Me Up' etc)

For extra context, she was 76 and VERY conservative/ stuck in the past. Thanks for any suggestions, it's a tough one!

I intend to have If It Wasnae For Ya Wellies by Billy Connolly..
What about the Hokey Cokey?
Sorry absolutely no help.
More so as I won't be going to my mil's
..
Unless I loan her 'my' song...

'Time to say goodbye' by Andrea Bocelli and Sarah Brightman?

Can you ask the funeral directors for their recommendations? They’ll probably know what people usually have.

Something by a Scottish regimental piper? Traditional but not too sentimental.

Nimrod?

We played Pachebel’s Canon at a relative’s funeral. I think it’s a piece that would work well in many situations.

I was going to suggest this

I'd go for something obvious like Candle in the Wind or My Way.

Is it in a church with an organist? If so, I would just ask him/her to choose.

What was her favourite song/artist/piece of music?

'Time to say goodbye' by Andrea Bocelli and Sarah Brightman?'

Thanks for taking the time to reply but no. Trying to avoid anything sentimental or obviously 'funereal'. Should have put that on the long list above!

The funeral director will very easily advise on this

So those are all your imposed constraints on the music?

If so, it seems unnecessarily spiteful - music is written about the most meaningful things in life. Is her death only to be relayed through her relationship with the two of you?

Did she murder or torture anyone? If not - seriously, you can be more generous than this. Or ask someone else to organise her funeral.

Moon River?

I agree that asking the funeral director for some genetic and bland suggestions is the way to go.

How utterly depressing to die and for the people to be arranging your funeral to be doing so - so devoid of love.

No judgement Op as guessing there is a serious back story

'Is it in a church with an organist?'

No, crematorium, so will need to be recorded music

My grandmother loved The Last Waltz. Wasn't a dry eye in the house!

To be fair, muddler, OP and her husband have to survive the service with all the mixed emotions that brings when things have been difficult.

Things that cause distress to those present are best avoided.

Classical music tends to work, OP. And as a pp says, the funeral director will have already worked through similar requirements.

Is there a preferred style? 'My way' is often chosen, despite being really inappropriate for many people.

'No judgement Op as guessing there is a serious back story'

There most certainly is, and I'm not going into it here

Muddler, please just piss off. I've asked for help, I'm not interested in giving people chapter and verse about the reasons why the situation is the way it is, so please take your bleeding heart elsewhere

Did she have any hobbies/interests that might have music connections?

How about Jules Massenet - Meditation from Thais for violin and piano OP? It's a beautiful piece of music, no words to worry about either.

m.youtube.com/watch?v=7QtGOWemQhY

I know you said nothing religious but does it count if it's in Latin so nobody understands it anyway? Ave Maria is a pretty common choice

I'm a church minister and have conducted hundreds of funerals. If you don't know what to choose just ask for the crem staff to play something quiet. They usually use something neutral like pan pipes or piano music.

The Lark Ascending - Purcell?