Is there an etiquette for this?

[MarmiteCoriander]

If you ask a neighbour for potatoes, sugar or eggs etc- what do you normally do? Buy a replacement packet the next time you shop? Give them back the exact same amount of potatoes/eggs or do nothing?

We share over the fence
Examples
" I thought I had enough potatoes can I borrow a couple and I'll return them after I've shopped tomorrow'
'Can I borrow a couple of teabags for the morning, I'll drop you some back later' etc

During lockdown, my NDN repaid me for a bag of pasta with toilet rolls!

@howshouldibehave @Hellocatshome 😂😂 to be fair, it's usually another neighbour borrowing off me, I feel a bit uncomfortable. Usually it's in the middle of making something else like a cake, though, not, "I fancy eggs... "
@Davyjones yes, it's what friends are happy to do!

Also, @howshouldibehave do you not have teenagers (or a spouse) that eats the last x without telling you?

I have 3 kids and a spouse and honestly, no, they wouldn’t use the last of anything that was clearly needed for a meal. If someone wanted to make cakes-they’d check we had the ingredients first and go to the shop if we didn’t have enough.

@howshouldibehave Well, it's pretty common in my household (and my neighbour's) so I guess we're lucky we know each other!

Thanks everyone. I get on well with my neighbours, but if I'd run out of something- I'd just choose another meal to cook, or go to the shops if desperate.

Last month, they asked for potatoes. Fine- but it left me with 2. I waited the next day, as wasn't sure if they'd bring some back once they'd shopped- but they didn't. Last week, they needed sugar- so I gave them the last bit I had in the bag. I don't think its financial- just running out or not able to plan a different meal? No idea really?

Why are you giving your neighbours something that you clearly need? Absolutely bizarre behaviour.

I didn't need potatoes that night, otherwise I wouldn't have given them any away!

I didn't want to go out to buy another bag the next day- if they would be bringing some back, hence I was asking what the norm was.

It's quite common where I live, even though we are a two - minute walk from the shops

what, why would you do that, take your neighbours stuff when you’re two mins from the shops?

We’re relatively rural. When we’ve run out of eggs, flour, lemon, etc, part way through cooking, we’ve borrowed from neighbours, and they’ve done likewise. Never any expectation of replacement, just a sense that we’d all reciprocate.

Wouldn't expect anything back and wouldn't replace although have offered. We've all given things like an onion, an egg, soya sauce, nothing wild. We've all got young kids so it's much easier to get an onion from a neighbour than stop cooking, get kids sorted and in the car, drive to shop etc

Lmfao 🤣 Who legit asks their neighbour for groceries?!

I’m rural. You check you’ve all the ingredients before you start cooking. You make meals with what you’ve got. Not ask your neighbour for food.😂

Next time, be prepared and say you’re making xxxxx so you need whatever they ask for. I’d find this a bit weird if there are shops nearby and you’re not in the middle of nowhere. It’s lazy, imo.

I've made soup before and my blender broke. And I had guests, so borrowed my neighbours. Why wouldn't you?

The only time I've gone to a neighbour for anything, it was for eggs, because they had their own chickens and sold the excess. I paid for them.

I've always either had what I've needed, been able to make do with what I've got, or been able to pop to a shop.

But if I had to, I think I would, in general, give a small unopened pack of whatever it was I needed.

My neighbour often texts me asking if I have random food she can borrow. Makes no odds to me. We must be a bit weird on this street though, we often pass food into the others. My dh has colitis and ibd, he's asked the neighbours for toilet roll plenty of times.

That's a different scenario. That's borrowing something that you can give back after it has been washed. It's not something that you've eaten and need to buy in order to replace.

My local WhatsApp group (small road) sometimes asks or offers. If they are asking for something it's usually a baking ingredient so they offer whatever they are baking as recompense (eg a scone or biscuit!)

Can't say I've ever done it myself but I remember growing up it was completely normal for a neighbour to ask for sugar/eggs/milk. We knew all our neighbors well though so it was more of a helping a friend out/being neighbourly rather than knocking on strangers' doors asking for food.

In your case though PP it sounds a bit odd. Just say no next time they ask if it's becoming a habit for them.

Do you think they might just be asking for stuff as an excuse to come over/interact with you?

It seems like you need to start saying no as it already sounds likes it's turning it something ongoing and annoying.

this is about food.

I've given the neighbours eggs, but that's because in summer they can make far more than we can consume.

None of us has ever asked or borrowed though... it's a bit 1950's innit?

We live in a hamlet and borrowing is so commonplace that we wouldn't usually replace. For example, I borrowed a tsp of mustard for a recipe and another neighbour borrowed a sachet of yeast from us. We also take in each others parcels etc. It's lovely!