Acts of kindness gone wrong

[Cloudywithachancee]

Just had a memory pop back into my head from when I was in secondary school. This was probably around year 10/11. A girl I knew’s mum died of cancer and the whole class decided to do a whip around for her. We raised £100+ thinking she would donate to cancer research or something similar. She bought a new pair of doc martens and then wore the unauthorised boots to school every day.
Everyones face was definitely 🙄 but no one could say anything obviously as her mum just died.

Has anyone experienced anything similar?

Aww I hope she doesn't see this thread, she'd know it was about her for sure.
If you wanted the money to go to charity, you should have made a donation to the charity in her mother's memory.
The shoes probably cheered her up a little, something nice in a time of unimaginable grief.

Why would she donate it? You gave her a personal gift of some money and she bought something that gave her pleasure at a sad time. It was a good gift.

Oh dear, well I don’t think this thread went exactly how the OP thought it would.

That being said, I do know someone who had money raised for them when their wife died, and they used that money to do up the family home so they could sell it to buy a new house with the woman they’d started seeing before their DW died.

That absolutely did attract some judgement, esp as the view was generally that the money would benefit the kids whose mother had died.

Why would she give the money to charity? If you wanted to give the money to charity you should have just done it but how does that really help a grieving child? You can't give a gift to someone during a hard time and then dictate how they spend it.

Like fuck I would be donating money to a charity that someone gave me as a gift, unless there were some very exceptional circumstances. Sad that she probably remembers her lovely classmates buying her some DMs when her mum died and you were all gossiping behind her back

I would actually rather the money go to her so she could buy something to cheer her up, rather than a charity that has millions donated to them!

@TheRealHousewife such a shame as that sounds so, so kind of you to go out of your way to do that. I hope you enjoyed all those treats you bought!

Wow - this probably wasn't what the OP intended!!! Let's hope it was a DM reporter rather than a real human ur lynching!!!

That wasn't an act of kindness, sounds more like virtue signalling. If you wanted the money to be for charity rather than herself then why didn't you give the money to charity yourself. You have the excuse of being a kid at the time and not knowing how collections for people work but as an adult now you still sound like you think she shouldn't have spent her "gift" on something that made her happy?

A 14/15 year old girl who had just lost her Mum was given a gift from her "friends" who then judged by the same mates behind her back for not giving her gift away to charity? Doesn't sound very kind to me. It's an act of kindness gone wrong but not in the way you think.

I have never given to a collection that's for a specific person and expected them to give that money away, if I wanted it to go to charity then that's what I do without the need to tell the person I've done that either.

Wow poor girl. Good for her for buying something for herself. How is that a good dead gone wrong?

Unkind example OP.

Op is either completely tone deaf and has no idea how ridiculous she is being. Or is looking For an easy / lazy article.

‘Poor little chap’ makes you sound like a knobhead.

My brother died by suicide when I was 33. My work colleagues organised a collection for me and I used it to buy a pair of Uggs and a few other things to treat myself. It would never have occurred to me to give the money to charity.

Im fine thanks. You, on the other hand, are clearly a knobhead.

Everyones face was definitely 🙄 but no one could say anything obviously as her mum just died.

What do you mean by "say anything" OP?
You & your little schoolfriends sound like a bunch of cunts.
And here you are now, all grown up, & still being a cunt about it.

There's something spectacularly awful about someone thinking a bereaved child ought to have spent donated money on something worthy or donated it to charity. I bet her mum, wherever she is, was smiling with approval.

Why the hell did you think the child should have given the money away? Your thought process is badly flawed.

How nasty of you all to bitch about her using the whip around you gave her. Even nastier to come on MN to try to get sympathy for your collective hypocrisy.