Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Would you be hurt?

82 replies

poppydood · 27/07/2022 11:41

I was seeing a guy (who I met through mutual friends )
He messed me around,slept around (then said we weren't official ) then he spoke about us getting together...
Anyway last Friday we went out and he stayed over.
Saturday morning we were having breakfast and he smiled as he got a text and said
"That's Kelly I know you don't like her,she's asking me to go for a drive when I'm home"
I asked if he agreed to go and he said yes.
Then when he got home I rang him and we spoke for 2 hours -as he was getting ready for her to pick him up.
I got upset and he said I was being silly as they were only friends (they had slept together )
That night he got back and text me-I asked if they kissed and he said "no she kissed me"
He told me not to get jealous.

Yesterday he sent me a screenshot of Kelly asking to meet up saying "oh look it's your favourite "

Then that night he disappeared
I text asking if he was out with her and he sent me a picture of her
I replied asking why he was doing this to me...he responded
"Hi it's Kelly,sorry he is a bit busy now..can I help"

The day after he was texting me as normal

OP posts:
LittleMissPeggySue · 27/07/2022 13:42

What an absolute piece of shit this guy is. You are so, so much better than this. Delete his number, block him on everything. Don't give him the luxury of telling him, he doesn't deserve it.

Bookmark this thread and read the replies every time you feel like you might contact him.

Stick a note on your mirror to remind yourself that you are a goddess who doesn't need to put up with crap men.

WinterMusings · 27/07/2022 13:47

poppydood · 27/07/2022 12:41

I did the stupid thing and told him he's making me feel worthless
Asking him what they have that I don't etc etc
I don't think I can redeem myself from this now can I

Yes, yes you can.

block the enormous twat everywhere!!!

then get out & have fun with friends.

even if he suddenly stopped seeing Kelly & everyone else in a skirt he wouldn't be worth your time or tears!!

WinterMusings · 27/07/2022 13:48

I'd have been hurt the FIRST time he acted like a shit head, but not again as I wouldn't have given him the opportunity! Not even when I was much younger & was more 'gullible'.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Dating General relationships Relationship problems
OldEvilOwl · 27/07/2022 13:51

Tell him to fuck off

Karatema · 27/07/2022 13:55

poppydood · 27/07/2022 11:48

It's like he is getting a kick out of seeing me hurt.

Exactly! Kick him into touch!

clpsmum · 27/07/2022 13:55

AuntieDolly · 27/07/2022 11:43

Why are you entertaining a minute of this nonsense? Dump and block

This

clpsmum · 27/07/2022 13:56

poppydood · 27/07/2022 11:48

It's like he is getting a kick out of seeing me hurt.

And you're allowing it

HashtagShitShop · 27/07/2022 14:00

poppydood · 27/07/2022 12:41

I did the stupid thing and told him he's making me feel worthless
Asking him what they have that I don't etc etc
I don't think I can redeem myself from this now can I

"they're welcome to you. Do not message me anymore."

Then block and never let him in to your house and just ignore if you see him out and about.

Concentrate on you. You'll thrive without the drama and constant uncertainty.

Blue4YOU · 27/07/2022 14:00

You have posted about him recently, haven’t you OP?
this is the guy who takes pictures of him with her and sends them to you and tells you when he’s slept with other women..?
you keep hoping it’s because of something you are doing so you can get him to stay: you can’t and he won’t.
He is a sadist.

sunshinesallday · 27/07/2022 14:06

I'm sorry you are being treated so badly. You really mustn't allow this to continue and you need to walk away now. You don't need to give him any explanation or tell him that he's hurt you. You owe him nothing.

I think it might help you if you google and read a little bit about self esteem and self worth. Nobody should treat you like this, and you could probably do with increasing your own self worth so that you won't let it happen again.

This type of behaviour is not acceptable under any circumstances and if he has done this to you, then whatever he says now if he tries to win you over, it isn't true. I'm sorry but he doesn't care about you, otherwise he wouldn't be doing this.

Please walk away from him and look after yourself xx

MsSquiz · 27/07/2022 14:12

He's doing it to see how far he can push you and get away with it!
If he was genuinely concerned about your feelings, he wouldn't tell you anything about another woman messaging him and he certainly wouldn't being seeing her

My ex used to be like this. We were on and off so often I didn't know where I stood. I was his "best friend", we slept together often, he then got a girlfriend and we carried on sleeping together because he obviously loved me as he didn't want to let me go... he would also get with other women and introduce me to them as his "best friend" like I was on some golden pedestal.
Then when it all came to a head, and I told his girlfriend and people what was actually going on, I was the crazy psycho ex girlfriend who was obsessed with him...
it took me more than 5 years of this behaviour to eventually walk away one day (all because he didn't get me a birthday card, it was the final straw)

Don't be me

IncompleteSenten · 27/07/2022 15:51

poppydood · 27/07/2022 12:41

I did the stupid thing and told him he's making me feel worthless
Asking him what they have that I don't etc etc
I don't think I can redeem myself from this now can I

Why are you so desperate for the crumbs he throws your way?

That's no way to live your life. To be so completely unimportant to someone and begging for scraps.

You deserve more. Please believe that.
Everyone deserves more than this.

RenegadeMatron · 27/07/2022 16:26

poppydood · 27/07/2022 11:48

It's like he is getting a kick out of seeing me hurt.

It’s not ‘like’ he’s getting a kick out of seeing you hurt.

He is getting a kick out of it.

Reading this makes me shudder - how can you bare to let him treat you like this?

Dump his worthless ass and spend some time asking yourself why you let a man treat you like this.

EV117 · 27/07/2022 16:35

I wouldn’t be upset, no. I’d tell him to crack on with Kelly and that would be that.
I mean this kindly - dickheads exists, that’s the sad truth, we can’t wish them away, therefore we need to set boundaries and make sure our back bones are in good order.
Block him, now. Don’t text him or anything or give him the satisfaction of a sad break up on your part. Just ghost the twat.

Original poster
poppydood · 27/07/2022 17:17

I can't bear it
I'm crying every day-I just want him to want just me.
He said when I first told him I liked him ...he felt 50 feet tall that I was attracted to him..now he's doing this.
All my friends keep saying he isn't attractive...but he's got this charm (hard to explain)
We have had good times ..if that's not enough then there's nothing else I can do

OP posts:
Cantbeliveyoufakeit · 27/07/2022 17:45

With kindness OP I think you need to have a think about why your self worth seems to depend on whether or not this dickhead wants you. Everyone here can see he's a dickhead, your friends can see he's a dickhead so why on earth are you crying over him? He's not worth your tears, or any more of your time and everyone can see it but you.

Rowen32 · 27/07/2022 17:55

Oh my gosh, STOP texting him. He's making a fool out of you and probably having a great laugh with his friends about what he's doing to you. Stop it, block him and redeem yourself, you are worth more.

Poppyblush · 27/07/2022 17:58

Sorry to say this but he does not want you, and you are not his priority, so dump him and move on

Motherofalittledragon · 27/07/2022 17:58

Wow he's a complete arsehole.

Hilly87 · 27/07/2022 18:06

He sounds like a narcissist x

Wellthatsjustswell · 27/07/2022 18:11

poppydood · 27/07/2022 11:48

It's like he is getting a kick out of seeing me hurt.

I'm crying every day-I just want him to want just me.

He knows you do. He’s getting a kick out of the power play.
Find some self worth and dump him. You deserve better.

AffIt · 27/07/2022 18:12

Hilly87 · 27/07/2022 18:06

He sounds like a narcissist x

The armchair diagnosis isn't necessary - he's a prick and that's all the OP needs to know.

ilovemyboys3 · 27/07/2022 18:14

Absolutely get rid! Have some self respect woman

Hilly87 · 27/07/2022 18:25

@AffIt I would disagree. Understanding the behaviour may give some clarity for the OP to let go. I know it's not a years long marriage but there's no harm in looking into such patterns etc.

Riapia · 27/07/2022 18:54

Well you’re no JKR. 😉