Daughter 8 being excluded on the road

[Myname23]

Hi, my daughter is 8 & always played with a little girl on the road, bffs... Now this girl has teamed up with 4 other girls & they have stopped calling for dd, when she goes out to them they run & hide in her & basically making her feel uneasy...parents not approachable but don't want this for the whole summer... Dd is very sensitive & is upset by it all.. Aibu to just keep her off the road anyways?

Can anyone help please? I'm working from home so not in a position at the moment to organise playdates... Is she missing out by not playing on the road?

You can't make the others play with her.

This may not be a popular view, but this is one reason I’m not massively fond of children ‘playing out’ - I think when there’s no adult supervision (and by supervision I don’t mean breathing down their necks but just generally around) kids can turn brutal and unkind. I wouldn’t be encouraging it. Is there no way you can invite children over to play? I know it’s hard with work, but might be worth taking some leave?

She has 2 older siblings age 10 & 11.... She's great to read, colour, loves art & she's doing 4 camps over the summer. It's just I feel she's missing out socially by not playing on the road but now I'm second guessing myself & that's a fantastic point you make (& had been on the back of my mind!)

I understand that hence me starting this thread!

If she's eight I can't see why you can't do some play dates when you wfh. They will just amuse themselves surely.

She’s not missing out socially if it’s a negative experience for her.

I'll try next week, she does alot of activities as well.. I guess I'm just wondering what the general consensus is I guess but @Ifyoudid has a great point & after the last couple of weeks I think I need to be more protective of dd & keep her off the road if its not benifiting her positively...

Can her older siblings go in the street and play with her for a while? - I bet the other kids want to play then. Kids always want to do what older kids are doing.

Thanks, I think you are absolutely right... Unfortunately there are no boys whatsoever on the street, I think if there was the dynamic may be different somewhat...

Well they don't sound very nice so tbh she's probably best off without them as friends.

Her older siblings are busy with camps & extracurricular so don't really have the time (or inclination tbh). But yes I think it's prob for the best to keep her in... She's such a kind little girl & extremely sensitive

Yep. Thankfully none are in her class & a couple go to different schools so they're not her "school" friends...

Bumping🥰

I think this type of thing usually passes within a few days. It's what girls of this age do unfortunately. It is really big at the time and not nice for your dd. Lots of sympathy and Ask dd what support or help she would like from you.

Thanks for the replies, I really appreciate them... I didn't have to navigate this with the older dc as they're closer in age & didn't have this... Feel so sad for her... Is she honestly missing out by not playing out?

I'm new to posting, although been on here for years. I dont have children so apologise if i'm on the wrong track. But do you think that because she has so many activities and camp holidays that it might set her apart from the other kids and they may resent her in some way?

@MadAndGlad I have no idea but I think it's best for her not to be out with them anymore... It's not helping her in any way...

I wouldn’t be allowing an 8 year old to play out in the road.

It's a thing on our road many of the kids are younger than 8, some 5 & 6 year olds unsupervised... I'll be keeping her in & busy.

Well, no you can’t make other kids play with her, and like others have said, she’s best out of it. This can be the age girls can start getting cliquey.
with my daughter, I encouraged her school friendships instead. So invite a friend from school round etc.

Just because others are daft enough to let a 5 year old play out without supervision it doesn’t mean you have to.
At that age play dates etc are so much safer and more appropriate

@Wolfiefan & @Pinksalty thanks, appreciate the replies. Wolfie you are right but I really did feel she was missing out not being part of the "road gang" as such.. @Pinksalty definitely cliques have formed & it's obvious they don't want to include my daughter..

Frankly there’s nothing either of you can do about it really so whether she is missing out or not is irrelevant. Sounds like she has lots of other stuff on in the near future so she might just have to do reading or crafts today. Can you invite her a friend over?

Yes I'll organise playdates for weekends... Also this week I'm on call which may result in dd needing to be collected by grandparents last minute so playdates not an option as I could get called away...