DH tried to block me doing OU degree

[DegreeRebel]

A few years ago I asked for advice re doing an Open University degree in secret, as DH didn't want me to do one and was putting every kind of barrier in my way, including telling me I'm too thick and should accept my limitations. So many people on MN were hugely encouraging to me and it made a massive difference to me, giving me the nudge to stand up and say "I'm doing this, with or without your support".

I've just completed the fourth of six modules of the degree, each one with a distinction, and although I'm still being sneered at and getting eye rolls, I'm bloody chuffed with myself. It's tough, I find it really hard going at times, and I'm not always confident I'm even going to pass a module, let alone get good scores, and yet here I am. If anyone who encouraged me is reading this, thank you. If anyone else is in a similar situation, please let me be an encouraging voice telling you to go for it.

Congratulations 🥳 well done for ignoring him.

This is simply not true, I have marked for both physical unis and the OU and OU is notorious for encouraging 'marking up.' For example, something which would barely scrape a pass at Edinburgh is often marked in the 50s or 60s at OU. It is very common, tutors raise it often but the marking criteria and quality of work and expectations of students for OU is markedly different.

Regardless OP you should be very proud of yourself and your achievements, finish the degree and ditch the husband.

You realise he's an abuser, right?
Do your degree.

Well done. Such a shame you have to do it without your H’s (not putting the D in for dear as he clearly isn’t) support, why is it husbands can’t offer this, jealousy, control. We only have one life and that is for living.

telling me I'm too thick and should accept my limitations

Well done, proving him wrong. He's afraid of your intelligence and independence.

No one can know their limitations until they put in the hard work to seriously try to achieve a goal. You have not found your limitations yet.

Well done. Unfortunately some men feel threatened by educated women, they feel very threatened by women in jobs better paid than theirs. When I was doing on line dating, a guy cancelled a second date because after thinking it through I was too clever and used long words! (I'm normally educated to degree level and have a good but not extraordinary vocabulary) men like thick women it seems

Well done to you. Such an amazing achievement.

congratulations OP! Totally brilliant. 💐💐💐

Well done.
Are you still with your husband and why??

I remember your thread! Well done OP, that's a huge achievement! You should be so proud of yourself. Not only for getting this far, but doing it despite your terrible lump of a husband.

I hope you not only continue to prove him wrong, but that this will help to get you in a position where you are able to leave him.

Well done OP that is amazing! ♥️

I don't say LTB often, probably only said it twice on here.. but please leave this man. This is not normal. Your partner/husband should be your biggest cheerleader in life, full of positive encouragement. They should want to see you flourish.
Life is too short to spend so much time with such an awful negative man.
I hope you use your degree to find your freedom!

Congratulations and all power to you. Your husband doesn't deserve you. Well done on repeatedly proving you can excel and hopefully you'll be on track to take steps to build a better life once you've gained your degree 🍾🎉💪

That's great @DegreeRebel, well done! 😊🎉
What do you plan to do about your unsupportive husband once you've graduated?

You’re an inspiration OP, very well done to you 👏👏

Well done, I think you’re fantastic!

Well done to you.

yiur husband is clearly a. Horrible b. Abusive c. Deeply insecure. It suits his narrative that you are thick and he is stupid. As you prove him wrong, prepare for him to ramp up the abuse and arseholery.

Congratulations OP. I am an engineer and we all appreciate anyone who makes the extra effort in time, money and effort to get qualified.
Please don't get sidetracked by the discussion about the marking being generous or strict. These go on when comparing Unis and can vary by subject or year by year.
By getting distinctions you have taken yourself out of that 'maybe' area.

It seems that you enjoy studying in itself. Might you consider an advanced degree from a bricks and mortar place and enjoy/benefit from interaction at a higher level?

Congratulations! I too got distinctions and finished up with 1st class honours, and it was hard work. I did have a suspicion that I was usually scraping just under the grade division after all the computer and tutor marked assignments, but after the exam, there I was. Not on the last module on the history of science, though. Didn't quite grasp that I needed to have opinions after very little reading, instead of dealing with facts and numbers in the actual science. I think there may have been adjustments after the national marks came in to get an appropriate distribution of results. There was definitely a sense of staff wanting people to succeed.

And you need to rethink your partner.

What an amazing achievement, well done!

whoop whoop to you

and all the best for the rest of your degree.

Well done! Why are you still with this sneering git?

I've literally just been posting on another thread about how the OU changed my life. Well done OP! When I did the last piece of course work I felt such an anti climax and I wasn't even bothered about graduation. I think I was in shock. About 3 months later my certificate just dropped through the door and it hit me like a steam train. I had a ceremony booked within an hour and I will never forget my graduation. I could hear my husband whistling for me and cheering. There is nothing quite like an OU graduation for the mood of pride and excitement! In contrast, my "traditional" MA evening two years after was a somber muted affair that wasn't half as much fun.

I used to be an OU tutor and was always filled with admiration for students who struggled on through challenging life circumstances. Many drop out or just scrape by, but you have excelled! Well done!

You should believe in yourself more as you have proved him wrong.

I think your DH is projecting his own insecurities onto you, and you've proved him wrong so I think your amazing and well done to you.

He may even be jealous.

When you have your degree, don't let him put a downer on it either.