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DH tried to block me doing OU degree

82 replies

DegreeRebel · 24/07/2022 00:11

A few years ago I asked for advice re doing an Open University degree in secret, as DH didn't want me to do one and was putting every kind of barrier in my way, including telling me I'm too thick and should accept my limitations. So many people on MN were hugely encouraging to me and it made a massive difference to me, giving me the nudge to stand up and say "I'm doing this, with or without your support".

I've just completed the fourth of six modules of the degree, each one with a distinction, and although I'm still being sneered at and getting eye rolls, I'm bloody chuffed with myself. It's tough, I find it really hard going at times, and I'm not always confident I'm even going to pass a module, let alone get good scores, and yet here I am. If anyone who encouraged me is reading this, thank you. If anyone else is in a similar situation, please let me be an encouraging voice telling you to go for it.

OP posts:
marblemad · 24/07/2022 04:53

Finish your degree, upgrade your job, start saving and leave him!

Igmum · 24/07/2022 05:15

Well done that's brilliant work OP. And yes, your 'D'H is a knob.

CloseYourEyesAndSee · 24/07/2022 05:31

Congratulations :)
please tell us you're planning to leave the horrible arsehole??

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VioletToes · 24/07/2022 05:39

Well done!

Hope you've left your 'd'h or at least plan to once you've completed your degree.

daisychain01 · 24/07/2022 05:47

DH didn't want me to do one and was putting every kind of barrier in my way, including telling me I'm too thick and should accept my limitations.

How can you be in the same room as someone who wants to hold you back to that extent. I hope your qualifications open new doors for you so you can stick two fingers up at him.

You do realise that's why he's so insulting towards you, don't you, because he knows you won't be reliant on him for much longer.

BatshitCrazyWoman · 24/07/2022 05:50

Well done, OP 🎉 you're doing so well. That First is in your sights. Your DH is so so wrong about you, you can do it!!

(My now exH was similarly dismissive about my OU degree )

FrancescaContini · 24/07/2022 06:06

Very well done!

But why are you with such a horrible nasty arsehole?

nzborn · 24/07/2022 08:12

woo hoo, you go girl

MrsPerfect12 · 24/07/2022 08:16

Super happy for you OP. What's your plans for when it's finished? Are you aiming for a new career? Wishing you all the best.

im sad your "D"H isn't supportive, why do you think that is? He's threatened in some way clearly.

rocketfromthecrypt · 24/07/2022 08:17

I love this. I want to show it to everyone who says women, and MN, are spiteful and nasty. Sounds like your H was threatened by your intellect and drive and was doing all he could to try and keep your light hidden from everyone, including you, so you didn't outshine him. Please ditch him as soon as you're able to.

jumpingjackonthelash · 24/07/2022 08:30

Your DH is insecure about himself … not your problem. He can work on it. Keep going OP! Well done

TibetanTerrah · 24/07/2022 08:41

YoYoLife · 24/07/2022 03:46

Please don't tell me you're still married to that controlling abusive arsehole?

One step at a time. I'm impressed she's keeping her eyes on the prize and I think the DH probably knows his days are numbered anyway.

user1471538283 · 24/07/2022 08:51

Well done! Some men are so insecure they cannot see anyone doing well. My ex was like this.

I did my degree with the OU and it was so hard but so wonderful!

What an amazing future you are going to have!

Dalaidramailama · 24/07/2022 08:53

Goodness.

I have just completed my OU degree. My husband was my biggest cheerleader. If I felt like giving up he would be tell me to keep going and make me a cup of tea.

I am sorry you haven’t had this. He sounds awful.

Titsflyingsouth · 24/07/2022 08:54

I love reading posts like this. I don't even know you and yet I am so so proud of you.

Never let a man put limits on what you can achieve!

Kendrickspenguin · 24/07/2022 08:58

Well done! You are doing brilliantly. What is your degree in? What are you hoping to do afterwards?

You should be so proud of yourself. Keep on keeping on.

FlippertyGibberts · 24/07/2022 08:59

SpacePotato · 24/07/2022 00:24

Well done. Are you going to divorce the arsehole once you've finished the degree?

This.

HollowTalk · 24/07/2022 09:03

Why wait until she's finished?

A lot of women leave their partners when they start to study. It gives them confidence and a realisation that they don't have to live like that.

beachcitygirl · 24/07/2022 09:06

I didn't see your original thread but bloody well done you.
I faced an exactly similiar situation, my dh told me I was thick & I ended up giving up my OU degree at the first hurdle. I just didn't have the confidence.
Fast forward 6 years, I've just finished 2nd year at an RG uni full time with still working as cabin crew and a child with additional needs.

I hadn't been treated well & I got the support I needed & left the bastard.

I am so so so proud of you & cheering you on all the way.
The OU is one of this country's finest things.

Flowers I hope you find the strength to kick him to the curb. It's the best thing I've ever done. I'm excited about my future now I'm Not just written off as a big boobed trolly Dolly by a grade a twat.
Starlightstarbright1 · 24/07/2022 09:07

Fabulous .. well done..

Do you have anyone else supporting you ?

Do you have plans when you are done ?

CatherinedeBourgh · 24/07/2022 09:09

Congratulations! The OU has been tricky these past few years with the home exams, so extra credit to you for managing them in an unsupportive environment.

Wallywobbles · 24/07/2022 09:09

Can you give us any insight into why your H behaves like this?

Testina · 24/07/2022 09:11

Well done 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

londonlass71 · 24/07/2022 09:11

Well done and congrats. Keep going let his eye rolls be the thing that pushes you forward! Shame he isn't more supportive.

Herejustforthisone · 24/07/2022 09:12

Bloody well done. You must feel spectacular. Hopefully one day you’ll realise how brilliant you are and leave that negative, cruel twat you’re married to.

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