The most outlandish lie you've ever told your child, and they believed.

[SheilasLemonade]

Many years ago, when DS was five, I told him that I'd won a gold medal for playing thumb wars in the 2004 olympics. He completely believed me, as you would being five years old. Asked to see my medal but I explained it was buried in the loft somewhere.

We've just sold our house and are planning on clearing some of the loft tomorrow. DS (now nine) pipes up "ooh mum, we can look for your thumb wars medal!!"

I've just had to break it to him that I lied! I can't believe he remembered 😂😂🙈🙈

Due to never having any change, my 8 year old thinks the tooth fairy can come anywhere up to 5-10 business days. My dad nearly died of laughter when she I formed him.

I know this will sound like Smug Parenting or being Terribly Earnest but I promise I'm not - I've never lied to them, even in jest or when little to get out of a situation ('oh TV is broken). Excepting Santa I guess!

It's partly as I absolutely hate to be tricked myself, and partly as we had a very difficult time with my ex so I was always 100% honest, even when painful.

Congratulations, I guess? Not really relevant to the thread though.

I think it is relevant.

I understand ‘the TV is broken’ lies but that first one is just a bit odd.

My DD1 is now 14. When she was about 6 we were on holiday and went to a zoo. She was terrified of a peacock there (actually, she was terrified of pretty much everything). So we told her that if she put sunscreen on, it’d protect her from the peacock - that it doubled as anti-peacock spray. She believed us, and carried on believing until just this year. We’re currently on holiday and she muttered something about how she can’t believe that sunscreen wont actually protect her from peacocks! (It should be noted that she’s seen about 2 peacocks in her entire life - I’m not a big fan of zoos)

He's not yet three, but so far...

That whales outgrow their old bodies like snakes get new skins, and the sharks tidy up the old bodies.

Coincidentally, we might have let him get his eyes on some highly inappropriate YouTube Blue Planet clips.

Congratulations, I guess? Not really relevant to the thread though.

FFS.

Did you read my post? I just explained why I didn't. I also didn't need your supercilious comment, having prefaced what I wrote - but some people can't help themselves (I guess?)

As for relevancy, posters can scroll by & ignore mine, if they wish.

My kids thought for several years that Yorkie Bars has a poisonous substance that caused liver damage to pre teens. They passed this knowledge on to many of their friends who totally believed it and I got to eat my refrigerated chocolate for many years.

Think it was my mum or DH that dobbed me in.

I convinced DS then 5 that I could speak "sheep" language. We live rurally so every walk for about two years involved me translating messages to and from the sheep. He was genuinely shocked when I confessed

That we had a dragon that lived in the cellar and heated the house and the hot water. When the river steamed in the autumn I told them it was the dragon having a bath. They got so excited.
Our dragon was very shy but used to leave jewels around the house for them to find so they would know he was there. He could also shrink to minuscule proportions and hide in their bags to go to school with them. Very helpful when they were having bad days at school. I miss the dragon!

Dc believe the tooth fairy will put their money on their GH cards.

I rarely have change in the house. I’m surprised they believe it tbh.

Probably don’t now.

I used to tell my daughters that I was Britney spears' stunt bottom but I doubt they believed me.

That DH is an undercover side kick of Spider-Man and went to hero school .

DS believed he didn't like Crunchies 'til he was about 9 or10.

It was a good job I was there to take them away 😁

My mum used to tell us our eyes turned purple when we lied. Very useful for her when we'd try to answer questions without making eye contact or talking to her with our eyes shut.

When my youngest dc was in reception class he had really low self esteem and was gutted that he was given the part of a sheep in the nativity (he'd wanted one of the big parts), so I ordered him a trophy and had it engraved with "Best Sheep", his name and the year. We had a mini awards ceremony at home and pretended it was an official nativity award. Quite an elaborate lie but he was so proud of himself!

That the purple pipes that you sometimes see running alongside motorways/major roads are how Cadburys get the chocolate to their factories. I wish it were true!

That the paint marking on sheep meant which supermarket they would eventually end up at: Green they were Asda sheep, orange were sainsburys and blue belonged to Tescos etc 😁

I told my children all the standard mythology about the Scottish haggis. Even pointed out haggis sharing a field with sheep when we were out in the car somewhere near Callander. If they'd been sceptical, the montage of a haggis family in a gift shop in Portree totally convinced them. They were outraged when Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall did a programme in which haggis were hunted in the Borders and had feathery wings, because they KNEW that was wrong.

I also made the mistake of telling DS, DD2 and DD3 to stop biting one another's chins (it was a game, I can't remember what about but they were finding it hilarious) because they would get chin poisoning. I knew that telling them that someone would end up getting hurt would cut no ice with them. DD2 guessed I was just making shit up, but at bedtime DS and DD3 were both distraught because they thought they were going to die of chin poisoning.

Oh god, mine is really quite awful. DS1 was about 3 and very sensitive (later diagnosed with Aspergers), was going through a phase of being really freaked out about huge concepts like death and abandonment.

We were having the annual excruciating posh dinner out with MIL, and I'd ordered trout. It arrived whole, tail and eyes, the lot. DS1 went beserk. I, thinking on my feet, managed to convince him that it wasn't a real fish, that the very clever chef had artistically constructed it out of canned tuna (which he didn't know was real fish!), rice paper, jelly sweets and edible paint.

MN tore me a new arsehole for not making the complacent little fucker face up to the fact that we were eating dead animals.

I once told my youngest that I was 21
worked a treat-she proudly told everyone that her mummy was 21 for about two years
it worked until her big sister took her to buy my birthday candles-a ‘3’ and a ‘5’ and she threw a massive tantrum in the shop
(I had her when I was 29)

I told all of mine that if the tooth fairy came and found a tooth that hadn’t been brushed every single day,then she’d refuse to take it and wouldn’t leave any money
they all believed me and I never had any problems with them brushing their teeth

We very rarely ate fast food,but we would have a maccies twice a year
i didnt want them to have a milkshake (all that sugar!the food is bad enough!) so in my misplaced guilt,I told them that the bottles of milk where in fact ‘white milkshakes’
the penny dropped for my son when he was about 15-his silblings had worked it out many years earlier

many many moons ago,there where flower fairy dolls (I’m showing my age)
anyway if you collected enough tokens,you could send off for a small,cheap plastic ‘tooth box’ (idea being that if you lost a tooth,you’d pop it in the box and the tooth fairy would find it in there rather than fishing about in the dark)
my grandad brought me up,and when I lost my first tooth,I popped it in the box and went to sleep all excited that I was going to have my first visit from her
next morning,there was my 10p under my pillow but the tooth was still in the box
my granddad told me that the tooth fairy had really bad arthritis in her hands and couldn’t open it but had left me my cash

honest to god,I was about 18 when the penny dropped that it wasn’t the tooth fairy that had bad hands…

My mum had my children believing for a long time that she had X-ray eyes and she could always see if they were being wee monkeys.

We had our bedroom wall painted and for some reason there's a weird mark on it. Happened a few months after being painted.

DC spotted it and ask what it was and I said I woke up one night to find your Dad licking the wall.

They believed me! That "lie" prank is still going on almost 5 years later.

Conkers are baby hedgehogs. Unfortunately, I was teaching biology to year 7s at the time.

My late mum used to tell me that our eggs came from Henrietta, the chicken who lived in our garden. I believed it for several years until I learned to read the word 'Sainsbury' on the egg box.