The most outlandish lie you've ever told your child, and they believed.

[SheilasLemonade]

Many years ago, when DS was five, I told him that I'd won a gold medal for playing thumb wars in the 2004 olympics. He completely believed me, as you would being five years old. Asked to see my medal but I explained it was buried in the loft somewhere.

We've just sold our house and are planning on clearing some of the loft tomorrow. DS (now nine) pipes up "ooh mum, we can look for your thumb wars medal!!"

I've just had to break it to him that I lied! I can't believe he remembered 😂😂🙈🙈

I was looking after my nieces and they were playing soccer but arguing and one of them kept bursting into tears. I told her that The International Rules of Soccer say that it's illegal to cry while playing soccer and that legally I'd have to take away the ball if she cried again. She 100% believed me.

The tooth fairy once wrote DD3 a letter stating that due to health and safety concerns they couldn’t enter her room. She had a period of time to tidy it as that was when the next local collection of teeth would be. If it wasn’t done by then they couldn’t be sure when the fairies would next be in her area.

We were at a service station once and DD4 fell in love with a MLP in the grab machine. She was beside herself she couldn’t win it, we explained the machines only actually pick up every 50 grabs or so and we can’t afford that. I managed to pick one up on eBay before Xmas. On Christmas Day she was over joyed and asked me wide eyed how I got it. I don’t know why I said it but I told her I drove back up the motorway one night and I waited hours till lots of people had played the machine and it might work and I had lots of goes till I got the pony.

Its been 6 years and she still believes me and brings it up. I will take this lie to the grave and if her older sisters spill the beans I will disinherit them (I won’t, we haven’t got anything for them to inherit 😂)

When DS was little, it was just me and him. When he was in bed and I wanted a sweet treat, I'd raid his treat box.

Whenever he noticed things were missing, he'd ask where they had gone and I'd tell him 'ohh mummy's friend Gem came around last night and was hungry, so I gave her some of your treats)

Whenever Gem came around, he'd look at her suspiciously, from the corner of his eye. She could never understand why he didn't like like her 🤣 even to this day, he's 13 now, whenever Gem comes over, he's always a bit wary!

Mine believes that if he has lied to me his tongue turns blue and only parents Can see the blue. Now whenever I think he is lying I ask him to stick it out (he won’t if he thinks it’s blue). Works a treat.

DS is 4 and heard me shouting at the radio about Boris Johnson. Every time he gets in the car he asks if Boris has gone yet. I've tried explaining the concept of a caretaker PM but ended up telling him Boris has to stay to feed Larry the Cat otherwise he won't have any food until they find a new PM. Probably not far from the truth of his current activities to be fair.

When DS was little, his hamster Joey died when he was at school.
I picked him up and told him that during his "annual health check" the vet noticed he had extreme muscle and stamina, and suggested that he spend the summer training for the "hamster olympics"
Of course I said yes, he can't miss this opportunity and he will write to us etc
For ages I'd write letters to DS from the hamster Olympic society detailing how many medals he had won.
Joey went on to train young hamsters after his success, and honestly...DS was at university when he brought it up
"There never was a hamster Olympics was there mum?"
I had to admit, no son, he died when you were at school

The music from an ice cream van means they’ve sold out of ice cream. 3 years later and it’s still working….

When he was a toddler, DS was helping me unload the tesco shopping. He found some jelly babies that I hadn't planned on sharing. He asked what they were and I told him they were cat treats .

I told my daughter that all spiders die at night.
She was so scared one that one would come into her room at night, that it just came out of my mouth to calm her down.

I also wish it was true.

My mother told me I was the most beautiful girl in the world. I believed it until I was about 25.

She also told me she had been jailed for stealing sweets when she was 15. It was just a lie to make sure I never stole anything.

@countvoncount Hamster Olympics! Brilliant!

My mother also told me that cats could smell if you had been good or bad. So I'd better be good or my cat wouldn't want to play with me.

That the hazard lights button in the car is actually an ejector button for the seats of misbehaving children - worked for years.

That there are rich tooth fairies and poor tooth fairies and it's just luck which kind visit. They can also run out of money on a busy night and have to come back another night.

Ice cream vans are empty if they are playing music.

There is a cloud factory near us. It's steam coming out a distillery chimney! They still believe.

We were coming back from our holiday yesterday and stopped off in a town I really wanted to visit. DC's we're not happy about it and whinged and moaned the whole 30mins we were there and then had the hall to ask for an ice cream on the way back to the car.

I said I'd ask and as we stood by the door I asked a member of staff in an café if they had any whilst shaking my head and the waitress said no, they didn't, the chef then popped his head out and said 'we do!' And the waitress then said 'but that's only dog ice cream!' I could have kissed her tbh.

I did feel a tiny bit bad, but they hadn't really deserved it.

When she was around 2 or 3, DD(14) used to really worry about DDog and DCat being alone at home all day whilst she was at nursery and we were at work so DP used to make up stories about them. Things like, oh they got the bus and went to KFC and bought a bucket of chicken and 2 cokes but then ran away because they had no money and were chased by the police. Or, they caught a train to the beach and swam with seals but naughty DDog and Cat stole all the seals fish so are now banned from ever going there again. They even spoke (but only to him of course) so he had to relay their daily stories every night at bath time. This went on for about 2 years and she fully believed every word.

I told her that Father Christmas stops coming when you reach double digits because so many babies are born every day he just can't keep up so outsources the work to parents. She believed that one for quite a while (only child!)

When DD was small we watched the Outkast Hey Ya video where Andre 3000 plays all 8 characters. I was being silly and remarked how proud the mum of the octoplets must be as they were all so talented. About 10 years later she had a friend round and the video came on TV. DD told her friend 'oh its the band with the octoplets'. 😊

I needed to distract mine so said a swan was swimming in the birdbath. They rushed over to look.

I always have to lie to ds about the local parks closing down as it's time for little children in the area to go bed as the sun is getting tired now for producing light all day and going down soon too. But there's a park nearby off our high st and every time we go to that park my ds 3 always runs off to the older kids section which means I have to climb after him through narrow passages but high play frame where it annoys me as I keep hitting my head or getting stuck in it trying to physically supervise ds and then we go down the slide and then he wants to do the same thing 10 thousand times again. A few months ago we walked passed the park and he had a massive tantrum wanting to go in. I had a long maxi dress on and flip flops and I thought to myself there's no way in hell I'm climbing up the advanced frame 10 thousand times let alone in a maxi dress and flip flops! So I said to ds that the local kids broke all the play frames and there were no more climbing frames, slides, swings and spinning round and round's (roundabouts). I said the local kids were naughty and weren't listening to their mums when it was time to go home as they played too much on the play frames and it finally broke. I said you have to listen to mummy when it's time to go in the other parks as well as the frames will break. Now we go to smaller parks and I say it's time to go otherwise the park will be broken and now and ds climbs off and follows me instead of me dragging him out kicking and screaming and we walk past the big park sometimes and he points out that the park is closed because the kids have broken it for playing on it too much.

That's priceless!! Lol!

We have "bad dream cream" which kids rub on their foreheads at bed time to prevent bad dreams. I laugh inwardly because my almost 13 year old still hasn't questioned it. In the event of a bad dream we apply more cream and chant "bad dreams go away" x 3

That if you took ham sandwiches to the shore of Lough Ness the monster would come and gently nibble them out of your hands.
That delightful thought scared DC1 to death and no ham sandwiches were allowed on the day!

And one that I don’t remember telling…
We were passing a golf course near the sea and I told DC that all the golf balls that fell in the sea went down an enormous funnel and back to the club house.

That Santa used Toys r Us as refuelling depots which meant a) no one could visit in December and b) got round the problem of sleigh:children globally ratio

I advise you not to let your DC ever hold a snake, then, @BarnacleNora , because they’re likely to be disabused of that notion quite quickly. Snakes are very good at pooing (and simultaneously peeing) on people.

@Garysparrowsthirdwife that story about your grandad brought a tear to my eye!

Those of you telling fun/funny lies to your children… do you worry that when they find out, they’ll trust you less? Or has that been the outcome?

@HereWeAreAtTheEdgeOfTheWorld ad using him pants were important to stave off attacks from the Willy Bird seems not to have caused trust issues.

I put a spider plant in the bathroom, but youngest child who is scared of spiders then refused to use the toilet. So I corrected myself and said "Oh, didn't you realise, it's a Spider CATCHING plant"