The most outlandish lie you've ever told your child, and they believed.

[SheilasLemonade]

Many years ago, when DS was five, I told him that I'd won a gold medal for playing thumb wars in the 2004 olympics. He completely believed me, as you would being five years old. Asked to see my medal but I explained it was buried in the loft somewhere.

We've just sold our house and are planning on clearing some of the loft tomorrow. DS (now nine) pipes up "ooh mum, we can look for your thumb wars medal!!"

I've just had to break it to him that I lied! I can't believe he remembered 😂😂🙈🙈

It was clearly meant to be a lighthearted thread. And you posted that you never lie except you do lie about Santa. How’s that different from the posters lying about the tooth fairy?

That my sat nav has a safety feature where it warns you when your near bear territory. "Bear left"

My dad used to tell me that my nan was, in her youth, part of a trapeze troupe with my great grandad and my Great Auntie Jane. They were known as The Flying Llwellinos and my nan had many suitors. I believed this until I was in my 20s 😳and repeated the story to DH and DS. DH looked a bit stunned for a moment, then revealed that my dad had told him that it was a story he had told me as a girl, and had thought I had realised it wasn't true, so DH knew it was a lie before I did 😂

My 6 year old’s head teacher made a joke to the kids in assembly about being born at the time of the dinosaurs and he didn’t realise it was a joke. He said to me at ‘least you aren’t as old as my teacher mummy who was born with the dinosaurs’

That hummingbird hawk moths were actually birds. Several terrified children suddenly fascinated by the beautiful "bird" and how amazing it is to find them migrating to England. I think they are beautiful as moths too.

I told my child that a ridiculously dangerous new water slide attraction was adults only as soon as I saw it being built because I didn’t want to spend the next several years arguing about taking her. A child was brutally killed on the slide not long after it opened. She seems to have forgiven me for that lie.

Hamleys is closed at weekends. Has saved me a fortune. :)

My DD somehow became convinced that the only wild bears in Scotland were in Dundee. Roaming free.

I told one of DH friends when I was drunk that I won an international disco dancing competition. Then forgot about it until at a wedding a few years ago (about 10 years after my lie) someone else asked me if I still danced competitively as the friend had told them about my skills.

Not me but my husband. He has a huge scar that runs up the inside of his forearm. Over the years he has told the kids various stories of how he got it. Ranging from being attracted by a shark to escaping pirates. To this day even my teens aren't 100% on the actual truth ( nothing exciting he tripped over a basketball net when he was 15 & got a nasty break)

That I really did have eyes in the back of my head.

Harry Styles having 4 nipples must have been in the news or something and my DC were talking about it.
I told them that everyone is born with 4 and at a certain age when they are babies, you were supposed to twist the extra ones off.
I thought it was so outlandish they wouldn’t believe me until a couple of years later it was brought up and I had to say I’d made it up.

DH pretended a hire car had a voice activated boot. It was activated by a remote control but hoodwinked both DD and me for a while 😁

One child was told that their Christmas card had been entered in a competition and had won a gold highly commended. It hadn't, it was my lovely SIL who sent him an official looking letter through the post.

I told my son that Caribbean seas were so blue because they drained them annually and painted the sea bed. He believed me for ages 🙈🙈🙈

Dc was a horrible sleeper & id have to lie with her every night for an 1-1.5hrs before she dropped off. In my desperation I made up a story about how a man comes to each house to check if children are sleeping. She asked how he knew if the children were asleep. The best I could come up with was thar he had a laptop that allows him to see through walls. It worked for about a year.

Moths are not scary and terrifying, and something to get utterly hysterical about when they are flying around your room, dive bombing your face to ensure your certain death at the tender age of four, they are simply 'night butterflies'.

Cue 'aaaahhhh she's so cute, I LOVE night butterflies, she can live here in my room'.

Cue massive hysteria and sobbing when the 'night butterfly' then flew out of the room, never to be seen again (found deceased on the bathroom window sill next morning, body was swiftly disposed of). And now insists on forever leaving windows open so another one (along with a million of its mates) can come in 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ #backfired.

My son aged 5 had a period of being upset going to school so I sprayed him with de-sadness spray (body spray) to take the sadness away… it actually worked.

my kids think Coca-Cola is an adults drink like alcohol and you have to be 18 to drink it.

Snakes can't poo or wee. After all, where are their bottoms? This honestly started as an off the cuff joke remark but they both solemnly nodded and agreed with me and lo, the devil in me rose and decided not to correct them.

I'll probably have to at some point. Not yet though, I'm waiting to see if either of them actually think to question this ridiculous notion

You are only allowed Coco Pops if you are on holiday or in a hotel. Those people buying them in the supermarket are hotel owners.

DH's car had a 'rocket booster' button. If you pressed it you went fast (just put his foot down!)

Each local park has a dinosaur who lived there but was hidden. Iggy, who lived in the closest one, once sent the kids Christmas presents. Well, that backfired as they wanted to send something back....

And if you tell lies, your hair moves. I think I got that from here. You could always tell when they were lying because they would clamp their hands onto their heads to stop the hair moving.

My eldest DS (10 at the time) asked me what I was squirting on the table while I was cleaning it (it was cream cleaner).

Off the cuff I told him it was ostrich milk, and he totally fell for it.

He could have just read the label on the bottle...

I told DD that if she ever got out of the car at a Petrol Station the fumes could kill her.

That the sugar in Costa is called 'my name beans' because I was the first ever baby to be born in Costa. She's 14 now and we still call the sugar sachets that!
Told my #3 that a book written by Tony Hart complete with a front cover picture of very old Mr Hart was his Daddy when he was younger...He took the book in to show his teacher 🤦‍♀️

That we have a huge snake (think nagini style) under our floorboards and if the kids jump or shout too loud it’ll wake her up 😬

I used to tell dd that my chocolate was hard gravy 🤨 and that the tooth fairy can get teeth from DC poo (when they accidentally swallow their loose teeth).

The best was the porkies my grandad used to tell us.. like when he was a hero in the war (he never was- he just served a few years National service in the 50s) that he was shot by a chocolate bullet and that he used to work as a scarecrow protecting potato’s from the birds and used to show us how still he could be 😆

I just make up ridiculous shit as a matter of course so they don't believe a word I say these days

Also that I have a dinosaur called Dean that visits me when the eldest is in school, I tell her he’s a bit annoying, repeatedly headbutts the front door because he can’t knock on and he just comes round to show off 😊 she bloody loves that one!