How often dose you child/children see they’re grandparents

[Abbiewilliams96]

I have a 6 year old son and my mother is complaining that she don’t have him on her own at weekends. She comes to see him every day Monday-Friday straight after school and takes him out with his football and to the park. She’s now complaining about now seeing him at weekends. Me and partner usually take him out at weekend and have family time and also my partner likes to visit his family with our son weekends too. I’m just wondering how often your parents see your child/children.

Plenty of interests. Also run 2 volunteer groups. But nothing is better than spending time with my many grandchildren (and children). There’s nothing odd about it. I love providing child care, doing school and activity drop off and pickups as well as taking some of them on holiday and having them to stay with me. In fact there’s one curled up in my bed right now fast asleep.

Children never forget things like this.

Its absolutely precious.

Sometimes once a week, sometimes every few weeks as I live fairly close. I think that every day seems a lot and demanding weekend too is well over the top and on her own is just very entitled and out of order.

My parents have seen my kids maybe 3 times in the past 10 years…they have no interest in having any sort of relationship with them 🙄

3/4 times a week

We live on the same road as my parents. On the 2 days I don't work we walk past their house on the way to school and they time bringing the milk in to say hello as we go past. They take the kids for 2 hours on a Sunday morning so I can do my own school work for the week ahead.

They feel very lucky to have us so close, and love spending time with the grandkids. They never pester us, it's always the kids that want to see them!

Thank you all so much for your replies. I do feel like everyday Monday - Friday is to much. I feel like I can never do anything with my son after school because if we’re not home from the school run by 3:30 my mother calls us straight away to see where we are. We are expected to be at home by a certain time after school everyday. Saturday and Sunday are the only days we don’t see her.

Usually everyday, they live about 3 streets away.
But that's usually just passing by and saying hi, popping in for a quick drink etc. Not hours on end everyday.

My mum everyday, as we live with her. In fact they probably see her more than they see me 😂
haven’t seen my dad for 2 years, because Of covid and he lives 4 hours away. Haven seen DP dad for almost 3 years due to him being very vulnerable. Me and DP went to see him in October to help him with stuff aro7nd the house.

My parents, once a week.

Husbands parents about once a year 🤣

MIL/FIL most days my mum a few times a year.

My kids love MIL/FIL , it's so sweet... takes a village to raise kids and all that...

That sounds very smothering OP. Can you break the cycle by making plans every few days, or even once a week?

Can you move away? That sounds far too much.

A grandparent’s POV here.
Twice a week for three hours and very occasionally a weekend sleepover. Ditto the other DGP.
One week, for various reasons, we looked after the DGC for five out of six days. It was waaay too much for us. We were exhausted and found it less fun.

Not since 2019.

MiL is slowly dying in a carehome in another country. The DCs were prohibited from visiting her on our annual visit last year coz Covid Rules and she's now too frail to cope with even a 5 minute conversation with them. DH wants them to keep their last memories of her still having an essence of herself before her rapid deterioration caused by lockdowns and reduced healthcare. They will next go over for her funeral. DH has literally done a few flying visits himself in the past year, but as he's not a filthy child, he can see her for timed appointments.
#SaveTheGrannies so worthwhile 🙄

DM doesn't like DS1 who has ASD. He doesn't hold with her children should be seen and not heard attitudes. He struggles with the sensory input of her house of hoard (she has a lot of cats and no sense of smell... his olfactory system is very sensitive). Due to poor hearing she has a cacophany of blaring TVs and radios which also overwhelms him. They clash and she's not the type to meet a struggling child half-way. She's not local enough to drop in and there's no invitations, so he just hasn't seen her since the Christmas after his diagnosis. She's not interested and I'm not forcing it. She recently saw DS2 for the first time in 2 years. I concocted an excuse to pass through the area on a significant date and happened to have DS2 with me. She likes DS2 but her attitude to DS1 is a barrier.

Pre Covid once a week for MIL (I or both of us took DC) and 2 times a month my parents.

Post Covid: MIL is dead sadly, my parents maybe 4 times so far this year.

Unfortunately my parents are very Covid cautious so choose not to see us much - and when we do it's masks on in the garden.

It has had a massive toll on me and DC, but you can't reason with them I've tried.

We see local grandparents about once a week. One set live further away and we see them every 6-8 weeks.

It sounds like your mum is overstepping. You don’t have to see her every day if you don’t want to. Oh and not making plans because you have to be home at a certain time is madness! She might be your mum but you’re not a child anymore, tell her no.

My parents: twice per week alone, one of those is a Weekly Friday night sleepover and another once per week with me there too.
Inlaws: once per week.

Once every 3-4 months (mil) due to distance 160 miles away. When my oldest were tiny we loved about 8 miles from my parents and they saw my parents at least twice a week. My Dad had recently retired and he used to drive over and ask me if I wanted any shopping fetching, but I knew it was just an excuse to see his dgc extra. My Dad often took them for walks to park, to play football/sneaky ice cream etc. My Mum used to make a fuss of them when I took them to see parents twice a week. My pil used to have children for 1 week every summer as they live by coast. DH and I used to have a holiday on our own for a week then come back and go on holiday with in-laws and dc. Sometimes my parents would come to and both sets of GP's used to spoil dgc.

My in laws are only 2 miles away so on a regular basis, once it twice a week. My father lives in New York and my mother lives in Nice , so not quite as often.

Your mum sounds very controlling. You're an adult with your own life!

What would happen if you just said you were busy and ignored her calls to see where you were?

My parents pick up my DCs from school and give them dinner four times a week. Sometimes we'll visit over the weekend if we fancy it and we also do a lot of days out in the holidays all together. They also have an occasional sleepover, usually if I need an evening of babysitting (they'd rather have the kids stay over then they can go to bed when they want rather than wait for me to get home!) They are incredibly close to their grandparents, so much so that even though come September I'll be working in the same school as them and won't need them to be picked up they've asked if they can still have dinner with them and so we're keeping that going! My mum even said she'd be happy to cook for me as well to 'make sure I'm eating something' 😂❤️

I'm a single parent so I expect there to be a lot more involvement with grandparents than average. Weekend family time includes them a lot because they are my family, as opposed to a husband or partner who I'd want to be carving out time for. I'm very very lucky to have such involved and wonderful parents. They truly scooped me up when my exh walked me out and have continued to support us since.

About once a fortnight, but it was more when they weren't at school yet. We go away with them for about 2 weeks in the year and also stay over about once a month.

Every day is way too much. If anything you need to see her less, not also start adding on weekends.

Oh OP, that is incredibly smothering.

Has your relationship always been like this?

OP, you are within your rights to start saying no and living your day to suit your family.