Summarise your most recent bizarre dream in less than 2 lines

[BruceAndNosh]

Mine - getting consumer advice on the best Air fryer... from The Umbrella Academy character Number Five.

A weeping American girl berating me for misspelling a presidents name carved on a gravestone

David Cameron talking his way in to our house party wearing a very 90s shell suit.

Me in the garden planting baby elephants under the apple tree. 4 nice round holes for their feet.

Picking a kitten from a litter of two, one had three eyes and the other had one eye. Couldn't choose so took both!

A 'toast' to a recently deceased childhood acquaintance. The speaker squeezed a soapy sponge & the rest of us tipped our drinks onto the table.

As far as I know, the Subject of the dream is still alive & kicking 🤔

Whilst walking about casually talking to the Queen, she went to the toilet (grotty work toilet) and to be respectful I stayed outside and looked after her handbag which she had left on the floor. Then I realised that someone had pushed a pram against it and I was trying to rub the prams tram lines off the bag before she saw it!

I can jump really high and can actually float about 40 feet high in the air for as long as I like - and nobody is impressed!

Being interviewed by the police for being bigamist and worrying that they’d ask me about a murder I committed the week before 😱🤣 I blame the weather 🤣🤣

Trying to escape Satan but not having enough change for the no 31 bus.

Our brains are funny the way they create scenarios

That my newborn baby daughter dried out and cracked up! Woke up sobbing hysterically.

Unlocking a door for a crying woman and finding Jon Pertwee (her husband) inside, then going on a convoluted journey to a place I love and turning back.

It's the heat.

I grew wings and took off like an aeroplane!

An old, pale blue, creaky house with some roof missing that was the spirit of a grand old lady.

She was nice. A house, but still nice.

Doing a crossword with Robert pattinson and Emma Watson and feeling inferior because they were really brainy

I was in the courtyard of a housing project and an owl was flying in daylight, circling after seagulls - I had to duck behind a car to avoid getting swooped on.

So then I went back into my flat which was sort of underground but very smart, then two ladies from the housing department came to inspect it but really to let me know the previous resident had been murdered there, which I then realised I had already known.

Having a gun held to my head by John Cusack who then shoots himself

Being Mutley the dog.

Balancing on stilts on the roof of a double decker bus as it goes round Piccadilly Circus
Didn't end well......

My son caused an accident and was arrested when trying to overtake a brown and beige lorry with one door blowing open but I blamed the lorry driver. Then I was in a very dodgy part of town trying to help two shop assistants with no English tell a customer with no English either how much he owed for petrol. €38.91!!

And then God said to me: “Violence isn’t caused by frogs legs”

🤔

I had dinner in the whitehouse with a naked Bill Clinton.

Buying Lou Reed's 'Transformer' album on vinyl from Bill Bailey.

Bumped into two people from my junior school who had just disappeared one day (30 years ago). He fell for me and we got up to all sorts. Male friend who definitely doesn't want a relationship with me was distraught.

Dropping triplets, that were the size of Barbies, in the pile of washing DH left on the stairs.