Grooming gangs/child sexual exploitation - was it going on in your area in the 80s/90s/00s? Did you realise?

[WhichBitchIsWhich]

Prompted by another thread about the Telford sex abuse scandal, I'm wondering how widespread this really was (and maybe still is but today's teenagers aren't likely to be on MN to answer).

I grew up in a small Midlands town and was at secondary school between 1993 and 1997.

It was definitely going on there at the time, though I've only realised the scale and true extent of it in retrospect.

Girls (working class white girls, to be specific) from our school would regularly meet adult men who they called their boyfriends outside the gates at lunchtime and "go for a drive" in their cars, coming back with a McDonald's a while later. They were often collected at the end of the day by the same men. Some of us recognised this as abuse (or at least as not okay). I remember discussing it with friends a few times as a teenager and we certainly knew these men were not "boyfriends" as the girls involved said. It certainly wasn't a secret, the staff knew about it and watched it happen but said or did nothing (I assume, as it carried on year after year).

Most upsetting to me was a deaf girl with learning disabilities who was in my form group, who lived in a local authority children's home in the next town over. She was pregnant at 15 and I still remember someone asking her in class who the father was and her replying "just some fucking [racist four letter word beginning with p and ending with i]" (apologies for even hunting at the word but it's what she said). She didn't come back to school after she reached about 6 months pregnant and I heard from another girl who had lived in the same "care" home that she didn't get to keep her baby.

I realise now as an adult what was almost certainly happening to her

I’m in Bradford. Yes, it was widely known about from the mid 90’s. And widely covered up. If anything was said about it, you were, apparently, a racist.

Well I grew up in Telford so it clearly was going on. There was one girl in my school year (this was early 90's and year 10 or 11) who got pregnant and was waiting to see what colour the baby was to try and narrow down who the father was. It was really shocking as the non white population of the town was really small at the time. It has only just occurred to me though that she was probably being groomed.

Child abuse has always gone on. Gangs are maybe a new thing.

But abuse by seemingly 'trusted' adults has always been a thing, Including grandparents and parents.

I've also had a school friend confess to sexual abuse by her mother while her father turned a blind eye and physically abused her. Seriously messed her up mentally.

I haven't seen her in a very long time. She tried to cut all ties with the past, but I often think about her.

It was definitely going on at my school - I can think of at least three girls who were being exploited from the age of fourteen or so (this was early nineties.)

I went to school not far from Rotherham - surprise surprise!

I remember attitudes at my school among the staff being pretty racist tbh. The school was about 30% Pakistani kids and some of the staff would make comments to/about them that would probably get them sacked now. I remember once going home and telling my mum something a teacher had said and her speaking to the head about it but I don't know what if anything was done. The staff didn't clamp down on racist language from the kids either.

I feel like it was more that the men were just invisible somehow, their role as abusers wasn't really acknowledged. Nothing seemed to be made of the fact that the men were abusing the girls and were completely in the wrong. Teachers would say things like "I know you're in a hurry to meet your boyfriend Gemma but nobody's leaving this class for lunch until the chairs are all put back" 🙄

I can't imagine many of the staff would have given a fuck about being thought of as racist. So I suspect they just thought the girls were slappers.

Yorkshire in the 1990s. I am increasingly of the opinion that an older cousin was abused. Since I’ve reached adulthood a couple of family members who were adults at the time have said they had suspicions too.

I didn’t notice anything like this at school, though. It must have happened. There were two girls in my year with older boyfriends who got married immediately they left school, which still weirds me out.

It was certainly happening in SW London.

Yes, that was another of the attitudes, the girls were ‘bad girls’. But that’s ignorance, the people in positions to put a stop to this purposely bought into the ‘racist’ theory when no racism was used, to keep a lid on any potential trouble. Don’t forget, this was around the time of heightened tensions (which there always is now) leading up to the Bradford riots. The police weren’t adequately manned, if the organised grooming had been clamped down on immediately then it would have been a lot better, obviously.

I saw this happening in Edinburgh. All different races. There are certain men that seem to be able to spot vulnerability in young girls at 200 paces.

I remember thinking it was ick at the time, but this was also a time when date rape was a common phrase, brat pack movies trivialised assault and it was alright to sleep with someone older if they were famous.

I truly hope girls today grow up with a measure of their own self worth but to be honest, with social media pressure etc, i can only imagine its even harder....

I cant say I was aware of any abuse/grooming gangs where I live (at the time). Looking back I remember a couple of girls had older Asian "boyfriends" (probably in their 30's!!) but I didn't know anything about the relationship as in how long/how often etc.

There is someone who posts drunken cries for help on Facebook and it's heartbreaking to read. Doing a bit detective work on his very limited profile he's a man maybe 55-60ish who was in care homes and from what he says was pimped out by the local council and abused by them and their friends and also the care home knew about it and I think had their own abuse going on. He never replies any offers of help or advice but it seems to be something that he needs to get off his chest. A very tormented soul.

Absolutely happened in our small town in the South West, mainly centred around the taxi rank and then the visiting fair twice a year.
I know of several girls of 15/16/17 who had babies, It was the talk of the town for a few weeks but then almost forgotten about til the next one.

In the rural town I live in now there's a homeless man, he must be in his 40s, who wanders round town all day drinking and swearing at people. He sits begging with a sign saying "XXXX council are all paedos" and rants and raves about it. DP (who is good with people and can converse with anyone) had a chat with him on a bus once and found out that he had been in local authority "care" as a child so the conclusion is obvious. It's very sad.

Just as you describe OP, in Aylesbury (SE) in the early 90’s.

The girls were just “slags” according to local opinion at the time.

I grew up in Telford, I was at secondary school in the 90s. We all knew young girls with much older Asian boyfriends, all of us. I’m afraid at that time I didn’t even consider that the men were doing any wrong, I didn’t even consider them at all, I just thought the girls were slags and wondered what the hell they saw in these men.

we all knew-the parents,teachers,us kids,our parents and whoever lived in the area
the girls where the ones in the wrong-they ‘tempted’ the ‘poor little man’ who couldn’t resist/help himself and the sick thing was,it was not only ‘normal’ but it was the girls ‘fault’

I was one of those girls, growing up in the 80s, groomed at 14 by a man in his 30s and effectively raped by him for the next 4 years until I pretty much had a breakdown aged 18. It was common knowledge in my area and I was blamed - someone told my parents I was “running about with a married man” and my dad beat me unconscious for bringing shame to the door, I had just turned 15.

The blame meant there was literally nowhere I could go for help, everyone I knew would tell my dad and I’d be beaten worse. It meant the guy could continue to abuse he because he knew there was nowhere for me to go for help. He picked me up from school, would turn up outside my house, when I was out with friends…

It took 30 years for me to see I had been abused, the impact of shame has been horrendous and I’m still dealing with the trauma now.

Despite that I’ve build a good life for myself, have a lovely family, nice home and very successful career. But yes, people knew, and condemned and perpetuated it.

Yes, quite a well to do town in the South East and this definitely was happening in my school in the mid 90s. A mix of White and Asian predators in their late 20s/ early 30s targeting year 9 and 10 girls. Gross. It was an open secret. It was a different time back then.

I have often thought Rotherham just the tip of the iceberg given what I observed at school

Also knew a teen who slept with a very well known BBC DJ, who was not Tim Westwood. She was proud but looking back it was gross as he was a lot older. Won’t say who but there are a lot more skeletons to come out of the closet.

@TangointhePark 💐

I was a police cadet in the mid 90s and the police officer in his 50s who was in charge of us was shagging one of the 16yo cadets. We ended up reporting it as we knew it was wrong, big CID investigation. They denied it, couldn’t be proved, so cleared of everything but he was moved back to uniform. Six months later he kicked his wife out and married the cadet, still said nothing had been going on prior to that! They’re still married! Maybe it was “true love” but I think she was groomed/has Stockholm syndrome and that was a copper!

Ignoring the religious and cultural factors is one of the reasons so many got away with it.

Maybe a little younger / sheltered than people on here but I'm absolutely disgusted no one did anything!! If you were an adult witnessing this behaviour why didn't you do anything??

I remember a really good video I was shown as part of safeguarding training about ten years ago which showed this issue from the victims perspective. So the teenage girl gets an older “boyfriend” in his 20s. So young enough to be attractive but old enough to be exciting, he drives a car, has money, picks her up and takes her places, buys her alcohol, maybe drugs, takes her to parties. She’s soon besotted with him and then some time down the line he’s passing her round his older friends and telling her if she loved him she’d do it. Often while she’s very drunk.

video was on YouTube wish I could remember the name of it and find it.

I was a naive and socially inept girl so I think it was going on a lot more than I knew.

One incident I remember - I spoke to the sister of a girl I'd been friends with who was in Y10 with me and who'd stopped coming to school, asked her how her sister was. She told me that her sister had been kicked out of home for (her words) 'trying it on with her dad'. .... I had no words. Then she continued that she'd now 'gone off with the Asians'. I asked her what she meant and she just gave me a pitying look. I thought about it a lot and concluded that the sister must have been lying about it all as they'd had a falling out - it was a very rough family. I went around to her house once and it was very bad. Realised what she'd meant when I heard about Rochdale and Rotherham etc.

There was another girl who stopped coming to school, though lots did, especially in Y11. She'd been my friend was I was younger. I think she's one of the women who talked about their CSE experiences in the media.

I feel bad that it was happening around me, to people I knew and I had no idea. I got mugged when I was 17 and the police were dismissive and horrible so I can only imagine how much worse it could be in that situation.

I'd also agree with what others have said - girls were seen as being at fault for being abused or being promiscuous. Even quite young girls were judged harshly. It messed up my sexuality as I didn't want to be seen as bad for having desire, iykwim.

I was at secondary school in Telford 1995-2002 but it was a private school so I was probably relatively protected from the reality for more vulnerable girls in the area (not that abuse doesn't go on in private schools, but the children in care/otherwise vulnerable who were mainly targeted by these gangs were less likely to be at the school).

I remember there were a couple of girls who joined us at an unusual time e.g. halfway through year 10, with rather vague stories for their transfer, who were not the usual demographic of pupils at that school. Rumours used to spread about them being a "slag" or all sorts of grim stuff they got up to at weekends. I now wonder if in fact they were moved to our school in a desperate attempt to get them away from abusers?

I went to secondary school in the 2000s, not too far from Birmingham. I can remember some of my friends had older "boyfriends" (who were in their 20s), they'd drive them around and get them alcohol etc.
At the time as a 14 year old, I didn't think much about this. I probably thought it was all quite cool.
Looking back now I'm absolutely horrified!