What’s the best age to have your first baby?

[chatterbug22]

Subjective I know but interested in people’s opinions on this. Know it’s 100% different for everyone and there’s a number of factors. Are you happy with the age you were/are or would you change it to younger or older, had circumstances been different?

No age. When you feel ready.

31 worked well for us because I had just finished a career transition and was semi established in my new role once I got pregnant (established enough that I was able to find another role easily after taking 1.5 years off for part of the pregnancy and my daughter's first year) and we were in the midst of building a new house that is a better fit for our larger family. If those things had happened earlier I think I would have been happier to do it at 27 or 28, physically I feel like it would have been easier and I would have preferred to be a younger mom, but we would have missed out on some of our best travel and our relationship is stronger now than it has ever been so really this was the best time!

I was 19. Ideally would have been a bit later in life and done a few things before settling down but at this stage of my life where my 3 are now adults and some of my friends are just having firsts I am glad we did it when we did and it's over with. My personal cut off for having kids is 35 and my ideal age for starting would be 23 -25. Although I missed out on doing some of the things my friends did out of school I'm glad we are at the stage we are with the kids now.

When you can - physically, emotionally, financially. It’s more about having a stable relationship, a reasonable roof over your head, and two stable income sources.

For most people I know this was mid-late thirties as there are some careers that you simply can’t be ‘established in’ by 26. For plenty of others in society this will be early 20s, because they’ve been out of high school for a while and established in a reasonable job with time to save.

I was pregnant at 22 (by choice) and had my eldest just after my 23rd birthday. Had my youngest at 26.
Both felt fine to me, I didn't feel particularly young at the time. We already had housing sorted and a full time job so maternity leave/pay were sorted.
I am happy that the kids got my energy in my 20's, I definitely don't have the same get up and go now I'm not far off 40!

I was 34, and it was perfect for me as prior to that I had quite severe anorexia and couldn't look after myself, let alone a pregnancy and baby. I recovered by the age of 30 but needed time to repair the damage too.

Part of me is sad I'm "older" having my first child, I was always certain I'd be a mum in my 20s, but I was in no fit state physically or mentally then. If my little girl ends up being my only child then at least I'm giving her the best possible version of me.

Late 20s as the bug for going out and partying had definitely worn off for me for years and also was in a good financial position and passed my driving. All about the age you feel you've peaked. I knew I didn't want to be 40 with toddlers and babies.

I was 32 when my first arrived and 35 with the second. At the time it felt like a good age but with hindsight and due to tiredness, my DH and I wish we had started about 2 years earlier.

I was 22 which was perfect.

Am now mid 40s, Dd is in her 20s and independent. I can please myself and have taken up loads of friends, interests, hobbies which I have time and money for.

I went back to uni and got a second degree when Dd was at nursery and have always worked. Really concentrated on my career following that second degree with no mat leave breaks and have done well there.

me and Dd have a really good relationship most of the time.

I was 31, I think if I was doing it again I’d want to do it younger. Perhaps 28? That was when I first felt secure in my job. I think I had too much time being free before children so it was a bit of a shock when I suddenly couldn’t do whatever I wanted.

I was 26. It was perfect for me. Would've been 24 If I didn't have a stillborn.

I was 40 when DD was born (after many years of trying) and whilst I'm grateful every day that we were lucky enough to finally have our baby, MY GOD I AM KNACKERED

So in a perfect world, I think 28-30 would have been about right for me. However, looking back, I'm not sure I would have had the emotional maturity at that age. I was pretty selfish back then.

I was 28 and it was perfect for me. Had my second and final baby at 32 with a 3.5 year age gap.

I had my first at 35, would have preferred 34 but it took 15 months to have a successful pregnancy. Now pregnant with my second at 36.

We waited until my husband and I were able to live in the same place after many years of long distance (in different countries) and after I'd moved I needed to establish my career here, so we got married and bought an apartment while we were waiting to TTC.

I'd have been devastated if we'd been unable to have a baby and I'd probably have regretted not trying earlier. But our circumstances meant starting any earlier than 33 would have been very tricky. The vast majority of 35 year olds will be able to conceive and carry to term without any major issues though, so you'd have to be very unlucky for it not to work out at that age.

I was 28 for my first. While I had hoped to have kids earlier but I had some health issues to deal. The extra few years before we started meant we had our own place, some money behind us etc. In the end it was the right age.

I had always pictured myself with 3 kids and probably would have had another if we’d been younger when our first was born. But at 37 the idea of one last pregnancy and newborn stage is just not appealing. Again, just having two has worked out for the best.

I'd just turned 29 and as others have said it worked out well for us as it meant I had time to establish my career and have time with DP as just the two of us.

A colleague had her first at 39 and said she did feel she struggled more with losing some of her ability to please herself a lot of the time.

Real mix of answers, really interesting to see peoples thoughts on this!

@QuebecBagnet that’s good to know considering we’re hoping to be in a similar position. Have a house and two stable jobs. There’s a lot of stigma but I want to be in the best place health wise and freedom in 40s is appealing!

I was 27 which was ideal for me. I'd been working for 5 years, married and had a house/mortgage so it was the next step for us. I'm now 45 and have so much freedom whilst still feeling young enough to be out every weekend!

This chart shows the latest age to start TTC if you want a 50%, 75% or 90% chance of one, two or three children. Quite useful.

Biological concerns aside, it's hard to say what is the best age. I know a woman who had a first child at 21, another who had her child at 45, and everything in between and they mostly seem happy with what they decided.

This was my experience as well, I was (just) 28. All the NCT mums were 33+.

Perfect age for me, very straightforward pregnancy and birth, loads of energy but a "proper grown-up" ( owned our own house both professionals although still sitting exams).😀

I was 22 and 26. Now my boys are 21 and 17 and I’m only 43 and living my absolute best life now they they are grown up 😊 for some reason, I now find babies and toddlers quite intolerable which I know is really bad as im sure other people found my own kids also intolerable when they were small!

@Mellie555 interesting, that’s very similar to how we would like things, I have always wanted more time with them and to have the most energy physically. Did you feel like you wish you’d had more ‘fun’ in your 20s in any way? I’ve never liked going out on the lash and have always been family orientated.

@greenteafiend interesting chart!

When you are ready. That doesn't always coincide with when you are able.