What’s the best age to have your first baby?

[chatterbug22]

Subjective I know but interested in people’s opinions on this. Know it’s 100% different for everyone and there’s a number of factors. Are you happy with the age you were/are or would you change it to younger or older, had circumstances been different?

Well, infertile from 37 due to poor egg quality so definitely not late 30s!

I wanted to ttc at 27. My personal deadline was 33. But my then partner refused so I had to leave a ten year relationship, recover from heartbreak, meet DP, and although we started ttc 18 months in, it was too late.

So, yeah, I wish it had been 27. Solo mothers by choice was less of a thing then but I wish I had a time machine so I could do it…

I was 22 and we weren’t in the best situation to have become parents (no career, min wage jobs, had to drop out of uni etc) then my 2nd came along soon after! (Unplanned) so we’ve been a bit stuck in a cycle of never being able to save to buy a house and instead we spend a fortune on rent.

Personally I feel we were a bit too young (naive) but I wouldn’t actually put an age on the best time to become a mum, I’d say its important to have lived a little first, travel, find a good career or job that you love, have savings and ideally own your own home before having children.

I was 33 with first and 36 with second. It was a great age for us to start a family as we were financially very stable by then so I could take plenty of maternity leave and then go back part time, my career was stable, we had a big house, we felt like we had 'done' plenty prior to having kids and didn't find the lifestyle adjustment difficult. I had two easy pregnancies too and no issues conceiving thankfully.

I would say 30 is probably the ideal point. You should be far enough along in your career that you have a decent resume built and have hopefully saved a bit of money. Yet you likely aren’t feeling the effects of age too much yet.

I had my first at 34. That worked out just fine. Plenty of friends had babies at 40 at they seem happy too.

I was 29. It was the right age for me.

I had my kids at 20, 26, 28 and 29. Physically my easiest pregnancies were the earlier ones. Mentally I think I was a bit young. I gave up a lot to have a baby at 20. But having said that, I don't regret it. I was done having kids in my 20s, I'm glad I've completed my family and I won't go through another pregnancy and newborn stage again and I can focus on them just growing up now. Plus I'll still be relatively young by the time they're all adults.

Late 20’s early 30’s

I was 25 first time around and that felt fine for me - looking back from 30 years later it seems so young!

I work backwards and think of the ideal age to have your last DC.

27

I was 31 when my 6 month old was born and I'm glad we didn't do it any earlier. Part of me thinks we could have left it for another couple of years. I did fall pregnant on the first try though. Had it taken longer, I'd probably have a different view!

I was 36 when my first was born. I wanted to start earlier but DH wasn't ready. I always wanted more than one DC, and I often wonder if that is to blame for my multiple miscarriages. TTC#2 at 38. If we are blessed with #2 there probably won't be time for a third. So I wish I'd had #1 earlier.

I had my first at 24. Was it a perfect age for me? Well, not really...we were pretty much broke, I was in a min wage paying job non-career job and only got stat mat pay as I was only in the job about 2 months before I fell pregnant. I was still on antidepressants. DH was a student, and we rented a third floor flat without a lift near the city centre. However I don't regret it or anything, it's all turned out fine and I'm glad I've had two whilst still being pretty young. I feel like if we are going to have a third I'd like to be no older than 30, and then job done so I can focus on other things later like possibly work/career and not preschool stuff. I may change my mind obviously and me and DH both unsure if we will have more anyway. So 24 was a good 'enough' age for me but everyone's circumstances are different.

I’ll be 31 when our first arrives. Was ready at 28/29 but fertility issues got in the way.

I’ve had babies at 23, 28, 36 & 40

My pregnancies in my twenties were easy, I sailed through and my body bounced back really well.

My pregnancy at 36 was more tiring but that’s difficult to judge when your already running after 2 children. I did get back into my pre pregnancy clothes but unlike in my twenties it took some real effort but it definitely didn’t go back the way it did in my twenties.

I then fell pregnant at 38/39 but sadly lost my little boy. I then fell pregnant again at 39, it was twins and I had my twins shortly after turning 40. By far the most difficult pregnancy of them all, but again difficult to judge as twin pregnancy is hard anyway, add to that my anxiety after having lost my son previously it was just a very stressful pregnancy. Physically I have definitely not bounced back this time, but honestly speaking I care so much less about that now. I’m still slim but I definitely will not be seeing myself in my pre pregnancy jeans ever again and whist me in my twenties would have thought that was then end of the world, 40 year old me doesn’t really care and I just feel lucky.

From a parenting perspective DH and I have been together coming up 20 years, we are better parents now we are older and we are more planned, organised and settled now than we were with our eldest 2 but then they had the benefit of young fun and spontaneous parents. Swings and roundabouts really.

I’m having my first at 33. Wouldn’t have done it earlier for career reasons as I needed to get to a certain stage to make it easier to take time out. But would have liked to be younger - I’d like 3 or 4 and worry about declining fertility towards/past 40.

@Ebonyhorse I rent and have 2 kids, what must u think of me? As your words were "not renting"

26. Should have got all your partying out of your system but still young

I was 32. With hindsight I think younger would have been ideal. 27/28.

32 for my first, 35 for my second wouldn't change it we had a few years married having great holidays, gor a house and both stable in careers and saved up enough money for maternity and childcare costs.

I was 36 when I had twins, I think that was a good age as it was fully established in my career so it didn't take a hit.

I was 34, 36 and 38. I didn't meet DH early enough to have DC in my 20s. Bonuses of being a bit older were having built up enough savings to be in a house that we want to stay in long term, and having established myself at work enough I've been able to negotiate part-time term time only hours. Younger me just wouldn't have been able to do that. I suspect the downside is that I struggled with pregnancy more, particularly the third one. I conceived very quickly each time though, if it had taken me longer I might feel differently.

Had my first at 21. Felt too young and inexperienced not to mention poor. But had boundless energy and body pinged back. Had my last at 37 was completely knackered (still am 7 yrs on) and am 2 stone heavier. In terms of energy to have kids I'd say 25-29 but in terms of sorting career/life first probably 32-36. I have found with friends those over 30 definitely struggle more as they have got use to only thinking of themselves and treating themselves so find it harder to adjust.

I would say early 30s

I was 25. I felt that was perfect for me. Young, but not too young.

Now 33 and pregnant with our 2nd and I definitely feel like an older mum.