Writing my will - I would appreciate your thoughts.

[AdelinaLM]

I am in consultation with a solicitor but the more I try to work through what I want to happen the more complicated it seems.

So, I own my house outright.
My partner lives with me. We are not married but have been together for 12 years.
We have 4 grown up DC’s between us and another ‘estranged’ DC who wouldn’t be part of my will.

When we renovated the house, my partner paid towards this- ( 20%) of the house value at the time.

In my will my thoughts are if I die first, my partner would have the right to stay here until he dies.
On his death the house would be inherited by my DC’s but with a 20% share to his DC’s between them.

Does that seem reasonable? Am I missing anything?

I'm in a similar situation- I have a partner and we each have kids and together we live in my house which I own outright. We have agreed and had it written legally, that if I die first, he has a year to either buy my house or move out. My kids and step kids (from my marriage) will inherit my estate.

Then you don't feel guilty about taking his pension away from his children? I mean in the case of his death - it would come to you and not his children?

OP has your DP ever owned a property?

I do find it a bit odd that some posters think he should be turfed out of his home of 12+ years so the grown up kids can get their inheritance.

You can put a clause in saying he's allowed to live there until he remarried or died, whichever comes first.

@FlorianImogen
DP’s DC required a large loan from DP, to resolve financial difficulties of his own making.
DC has since distanced himself and stopped the repayments.

Neither of us feel that we are in a position to give the other four DC’s the same amount that this DC is keeping.
An inheritance for the four might go some way to levelling up.
Of course, if the DC repays the money, we would reconsider and change the will.

He has been married too and had a family home. He rented for a while to allow his ex wife and at the time teenage DC’s to stay in the family house.

Once that was sold and their money and pensions divided he continued to rent.
He rented in the first years we were together.

His capital helped the renovations to my house which we still live in.

I don’t think I have a chance of getting this right!

Some PP’s think I’m giving him to many rights and denying my own DC’s of their inheritance.

Some feel I’m denying DP’s DC’s of their inheritance.

I don’t think we will even start a conversation with the DC’s to see what they think…🤯

AAAHHHH. As someone said above - a minefield.

We are in your situation sort of BUT own the house as tenants in common. He has his pension and his will made out for his children. I have my pension and the house which is 90% mine for my children. We are married and have a joint account that we put equal amounts into each month for household bills. I have given him a life interest to live there if I predecease him unless he remarries or gets a new partner who would reside there. The house will then be sold and he or his estate will get the 10%.

It's really not difficult @AdelinaLM - keep it separate.

I really do think you've got your priorities wrong here.

It would be different if you were married? perhaps. But crucially you're not.

Something else to bear in mind - just because you've named in as the beneficiary of your pension, it doesn't mean that's what going to happen. Quite likely the death benefits would be administered by a trustee who will make the ultimate decision on who benefits - they are not bound by your expression of wish. They could decide that your children should receive it instead since you are unmarried. Equally that's exactly what could happen with his pension if he dies first.

However @AdelinaLM if you are hellbent on this it is wise to redo the death benefit regularly to show that this is an ongoing wish especially if there are any changes in your life - children getting married, you getting married etc. It is very unlikely that the trustees will not follow your directions.

My IFA told me she only knew of one case where this had happened.

Wirth such a good pension DH is probably earning a good wage. Does he save all this?

Yes, he has savings of around £50,000 currently. I have savings of about £20,000 more than him.
As I said earlier, he spends on both of us. Our holidays, days out, nights out, weekends away. He bought and runs a very decent car which we always use when we go out together. He has also bought furniture for our home.

Sorry, name change. I will revert back.

Done and back!

Thanks yes. We know that we can nominate proportionately our pensions.

We’ve also just had another conversation today where I suggested and DP agreed that we consider writing our wills to reflect the shorter term - more ‘here and now’ and review regularly. Maybe every three years.

My view is that if one of us died ‘now’, the financial arrangements will be different to what is relevant when we are (hopefully!) in our 80’s. ( and we might have had a wild time between now and then and be dividing £2,000 between the four DC’s…😂).

The main focus is the needs of our DC’s. An inheritance now, for any one of them, will be most welcome as it would provide them with capital to set them up whilst they are young. If we are in our 80’s, our DC’s are going to be late 50’s and need the money less.
Neither my DP or I could inherit all of each other’s estate, knowing that our DC’s (bar one) are unable, at the minute, to buy their own house. We are working out just what this will look like.
Thank you for PP contributions on here. I feel like I’m thinking out loud which is helping to work through my thoughts and for DP and I to continue to talk.

That sounds super sensible, definitely wise to keep revisiting the will. Too many people don't.

We’ve also just had another conversation today where I suggested and DP agreed that we consider writing our wills to reflect the shorter term - more ‘here and now’ and review regularly. Maybe every three years.

You should always write your will as if you were going to be knocked down by a bus tomorrow, and then review it periodically as life moves on and circumstances (not necessarily financial) change. You can't write it for 10 years' time as you have absolutely no idea what your life will be like then. That's a basic principle of will writing.