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Original poster

Writing my will - I would appreciate your thoughts.

94 replies

AdelinaLM · 14/07/2022 19:54

I am in consultation with a solicitor but the more I try to work through what I want to happen the more complicated it seems.

So, I own my house outright.
My partner lives with me. We are not married but have been together for 12 years.
We have 4 grown up DC’s between us and another ‘estranged’ DC who wouldn’t be part of my will.

When we renovated the house, my partner paid towards this- ( 20%) of the house value at the time.

In my will my thoughts are if I die first, my partner would have the right to stay here until he dies.
On his death the house would be inherited by my DC’s but with a 20% share to his DC’s between them.

Does that seem reasonable? Am I missing anything?

OP posts:
Original poster
AdelinaLM · 15/07/2022 10:43

Augend23 · 15/07/2022 10:25

But was it worth £250k after renovations or before?

E.g. worth before renovations £100k, spend on renovations £150k (if which he contributed £50k) - worth after £250k then your 20% makes sense.

Worth before renovations £250k, renovations £150k - worth after £400k, then he's contributed 1/8th, which is 12.5% not 20%

Show quote history

Worth £250,000 at the point of renovating.
Renovated at a cost of £150,000.
Renovations paid for (from savings) £100,000 me, £50,000 him.

House now valued at £550k ( which is probably irrelevant as we don’t know the value it will be when I die…hopefully! 😉)

OP posts:
Takingthepmaybe · 15/07/2022 10:47

Why does he get your pension and not your children? Presumably could be a decent sum - I would have thought you’d want that to go to your children??

Candleabra · 15/07/2022 11:01

I really think you are overthinking this.
Both leave full estate to own children only.
Assets like houses/tenants in common arrangements etc are for long marriages where the children are shared. Or no kids.
I would just keep it simple and leave to your kids. And change your death in service nomination to the kids.

He has a good pension! If he has chosen not to buy a house and live in yours rent free that’s on him.

SuperCamp · 15/07/2022 11:18

If the house was worth ££250k before you spent the renovation money , and he then put in £50k and you put in £100k he doesn’t now ‘own’ in a moral sense 20% because your £100k raised the value by twice as much as his did.

It sounds as if you have a big house, now. Would he really need your house to live in alone?

Have you asked him about his thoughts on his housing security and his likely preferences should you pre-decease him?

If you leave him a ‘life interest’ to live in the house, or a good period of time, and his pension is bigger than yours, surely he will be ok for money to live on? With his private pension plus state pension? I would make your kids beneficiaries so that they have a greater chance of some inheritance while waiting for the house.

Is there any chance that you could repay him his renovation money so that he could start buying a Buy To Let and eventual home of his own? If you paid it to him gradually?

Augend23 · 15/07/2022 11:22

AdelinaLM · 15/07/2022 10:43

Worth £250,000 at the point of renovating.
Renovated at a cost of £150,000.
Renovations paid for (from savings) £100,000 me, £50,000 him.

House now valued at £550k ( which is probably irrelevant as we don’t know the value it will be when I die…hopefully! 😉)

Show quote history

But is the 250k before or after you had done the renovations? At the point of could mean immediately before or immediately after.

Original poster
AdelinaLM · 15/07/2022 11:41

Augend23 · 15/07/2022 11:22

But is the 250k before or after you had done the renovations? At the point of could mean immediately before or immediately after.

Show quote history

I bought my house for £170k.

The house was worth £250k at the time of starting the renovation. ( so unmodernised).

we

OP posts:
burnoutbabe · 15/07/2022 11:42

he contributed £50k to a house worth £400k (after renovations costing £150k)
so thats 1/8th (12.5%). not 20%

Augend23 · 15/07/2022 11:43

burnoutbabe · 15/07/2022 11:42

he contributed £50k to a house worth £400k (after renovations costing £150k)
so thats 1/8th (12.5%). not 20%

Yes, exactly this.

Original poster
AdelinaLM · 15/07/2022 12:46

burnoutbabe · 15/07/2022 11:42

he contributed £50k to a house worth £400k (after renovations costing £150k)
so thats 1/8th (12.5%). not 20%

Thank you! Yep, I can see that.

OP posts:
MadeForThis · 15/07/2022 13:16

Your dc will own 80%.
He can live in the house rent free in return for paying for the upkeep and insurance. Can you trust him to do this?

Or he can pay rent on the other 80% and dc are responsible for upkeep.

Ilady · 15/07/2022 15:25

I can't understand that your putting him and his requirements before your children. He has been living with you rent and mortgage free for 12 years. Your not married and he gave you £50,000 towards house renovations and he seems to have no legal documents to say this.
Does he think he can live in your house after you die?
Along with this your planning to give him the value of your pension upon your death.

He needs to be thinking of his future and making plans for what will happen to him if you were to die first. He needs to be planning where he will live then.
Along with this it's up to him to sort out what inheritance he can leave to his own children out his own funds or property he already owns. Their inheritance is not your responsibility.
He should be paying the cost of a life insurance policy for you that pays him on the event of your death. He can then put this money towards a house/apartment for him to live in if he does not already own a property.

The reality is that you have your own adult children. Your house should be sold on your death and each of your children should get a % of it value. You can give your partner a % of its value in cash then. It not up to you to house him at that stage.
By the time you die your kids could be married/have partners and or kids and they could need or be glad of some financial help at that stage.
They should not have to wait for him to move out of your house to sell it. Along with this they should not have to wait until he dies before they can sell the house. Nor should this house or a % of it value fund his nursing home care.

In your case I would be setting up things that your house would be ring fenced from being used to pay care fees at a later date and so it's value goes to your children. I would also insure that what ever is in your pension or savings goes to them as well.

You need to tell him that he won't be living in the house after your death because it will be sold then for your kids inheritance. He needs to be aware of this so he can make his own plans. Your kids need to be aware of your plans also.

RomeoOscarXrayIndigoEcho · 15/07/2022 16:30

Giving someone life rent is a caring idea but does create problems

My MIL gave life rent to her ex DH (they remained very close after divorce)

There's only a small property and the funds would be shared between DH and his sister. We're stable. Managing. Have a mortgage that we are slowly paying off. We don't "need" the money.

The funds would be life-changing for SIL and give her some much needed security and stability.

It could be a very long time before the funds become available (they'll never be taken for long term care for example as the flat is in trust at the moment). SIL needs the money now.

Original poster
AdelinaLM · 15/07/2022 19:55

Re-reading the thread.

I find it interesting that the consensus is that we shouldn’t look after each other financially, after the death of one of us, as we are not married.
We are in a very long term relationship, all be it with our own children. We feel married.
I just don’t want to remarry.

OP posts:
SuperCamp · 15/07/2022 20:11

AdelinaLM · 15/07/2022 19:55

Re-reading the thread.

I find it interesting that the consensus is that we shouldn’t look after each other financially, after the death of one of us, as we are not married.
We are in a very long term relationship, all be it with our own children. We feel married.
I just don’t want to remarry.

For me, it isn’t whether you are married or not that is the issue, it is that you are leaving (or tying up use of the house) assets to a man who is not your DC’s father. And who has not significantly contributed to that main asset.

I agree with you: I wouldn’t marry again unless I had children with a new DP.

And I think it is fair for you each to consider the welfare of the other, whichever is the surviving partner.

But I wouldn’t want to completely prioritise a DP (or 2nd DH) over my Dc.

SkeletonFight · 15/07/2022 23:39

AdelinaLM · 15/07/2022 19:55

Re-reading the thread.

I find it interesting that the consensus is that we shouldn’t look after each other financially, after the death of one of us, as we are not married.
We are in a very long term relationship, all be it with our own children. We feel married.
I just don’t want to remarry.

It's not very long - it is 12 years. You are happy for your pension pot to go to this man as opposed to your children?

coodawoodashooda · 15/07/2022 23:41

SkeletonFight · 15/07/2022 23:39

It's not very long - it is 12 years. You are happy for your pension pot to go to this man as opposed to your children?

Show quote history

It's the fact he doesn't regularly and consistently contribute now. If he did contribute like that I would respect his right for protection more.

SausagePourHomme · 16/07/2022 00:18

Your children would be devastated if you leave your pension to your boyfriend and allow him to live rent free in their house after you die, meaning they might not see a penny until they are elderly themselves with their families grown.

He is not your dependent, he's a grown man with the ability to look after himself.

I just don't get why you'd do that.

Original poster
AdelinaLM · 16/07/2022 08:16

SkeletonFight · 15/07/2022 23:39

It's not very long - it is 12 years. You are happy for your pension pot to go to this man as opposed to your children?

Show quote history

12 years is a lot longer than my 4 year marriage…

The agreement about pensions is actually fairer on me.

I have a lump sum of £50,000 due and an income of around £20,000 per year. He has a lump sum of £170,000 and an income of £33,000 per year.

OP posts:
Original poster
AdelinaLM · 16/07/2022 08:18

SausagePourHomme · 16/07/2022 00:18

Your children would be devastated if you leave your pension to your boyfriend and allow him to live rent free in their house after you die, meaning they might not see a penny until they are elderly themselves with their families grown.

He is not your dependent, he's a grown man with the ability to look after himself.

I just don't get why you'd do that.

But if I were married, and as with any married couple, that is what would happen. My estate would pass to my spouse. The DC’s would have to wait.

OP posts:
FlorianImogen · 16/07/2022 08:20

May I ask why the estranged child is disinherited? I have an estranged child but I have included him partly in my Will? I'm in two minds what to do about him. At the moment his 1/4 is split 50/50 with his only child who is still only 4 with trustees in place.

IrishMama2015 · 16/07/2022 08:56

OP are you children happy with the arrangement of your DP getting 20% of the house and your pension etc?

Candleabra · 16/07/2022 09:05

With that sort of pension he can look after himself. I honestly don’t know why you’re so fixated about giving him the bulk of your estate. If you die first, it might as well be the whole estate as your kids can’t access their 80% share until he dies as well.
It’s fine saying the pension share is ‘fair’ but it does depend on the death order and the gap. He may be around for years without you (sorry) and be able to live with someone else in your property.

Candleabra · 16/07/2022 09:08

And I think it’s different with a marriage where the other spouse the other parent of the kids. Of course the children have to wait for their inheritance in that circumstance. But you can hopefully trust the surviving parent to do the right thing for the children when you’re gone.

coodawoodashooda · 16/07/2022 09:28

Candleabra · 16/07/2022 09:05

With that sort of pension he can look after himself. I honestly don’t know why you’re so fixated about giving him the bulk of your estate. If you die first, it might as well be the whole estate as your kids can’t access their 80% share until he dies as well.
It’s fine saying the pension share is ‘fair’ but it does depend on the death order and the gap. He may be around for years without you (sorry) and be able to live with someone else in your property.

This. What does he think he should get?

MrsOwainGlyndŵr · 16/07/2022 09:32

I'd ask if your DP should pay rent to live in the 80% if the house he doesn't own once you pass away.
Or the 100% if you don't consider him to own any of it.
I don't see why he should live in a property rent and mortgage free AND not have to maintain it. Your DCs could see the value of their inheritance greatly reduce if he doesn't maintain it properly, and it's not fair that they bear the maintenance costs if he's living rent free.
Minefield! I don't envy you.

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