What age to swim in a lake with friends?

[DolphinAspirations]

What age would you be happy for your DD to swim in a lake with no adult supervision? It would be with friends of the same age in scotland. Mine has swum in a lake a couple of times with me but that’s all. She can swim at a medium sort of level.

We are having a difference of opinion.

The way she’s replied to my thread is funny. That’s all. She’s seeing that I’m not totally out there in saying no, which is what I hoped for.

She can see that it’s not just me thinking that way, and actually that the majority of replies agree with me, so she’s realised that I’m not weird for saying no. So that’s all good.

Thank you everyone for your replies.

All you outdoor swimmers I hope you are more mindful of others than the ones near me. Screaming and shouting at 6 friggin am daily....
Twats.

I'm from the UK (North Wales, so not even a the hotter South), and the main area I go to will be heaving at the weekend with the carparks full from 10am. I would venture elsewhere but with a 4yo and the high temp walking in to anywhere more secluded is unappealing.

I don't have a wetsuit at the moment so only swim when it's warm enough for a swimsuit and I've been 4 or 5 times so far this summer.

Yes in England! There’s an aqueduct shallow but deep enough to swim literally all the teens in our small city spend the summer there! We all think it’s a really nice thing to do - sociable they cycle there and swim not sitting in rooms on phones. My teen would think I had gone mad if I suddenly vetoed it - especially today!

Honestly depends WHERE. I used to swim in Lubnaig and it’s got a big drop off and is ridiculously deep. I always swam in a group when going right across. Other lochs are more shallow.

if you’re in fife then there are shallower lochs and I’d happily send mine to pittenweem daily.

No by a buoyancy aid I mean a buoyancy aid (with crotch straps and a big collar), if I'd meant armbands I'd have said armbands.

But OP's daughter and friends don't have bouyancy aids and it's not a designated safe swimming spot as you describe. That I would let dd12 do with friends!

You'd be horrified by the average summer that the kids from DD school will be given by their families. My friends DS4 was riding his mum's 17hh horse without a lead rein this week; my NDN DS6 can ski black runs; my friend did her first multipitch mountain rock climb with just her dad age 7 (at 40 my friend is an absolute inspirational women, she is fearless). We (DH and I) took our DD rock climbing for the first time at 2 years old.

None of this is remotely comparable. I'm gong to assume the 4 year old was supervised not alone when riding his mums horse and that they know the horse is reliable. I assume the black ski runs have been a gradual process of instruction and proactive at lower levels not just a group of friends with basic skills skills going to try one for fun? I assume they didn't just head up that mountain after having a few shots at clip and climb? All this stuff is A - supervised and B - a skill built up to (either that or you do indeed live in a reckless community)

Sheer stupidity to allow her; young people think they’re invincible and competent, they’re neither.
Too many drown every year ‘having fun’ in rivers, quarries, lakes etc, three in the last few days. Locally the risk of catching a sewage-bourne illness or Weil’s Disease is very high, I shudder at the thought of people swimming in it.

I'd be happy with a shallow aqueduct too that's lowly to be milo b with people. A large lake - no!

Teenager as long as they could swim well for a lake. But most lakes around here have a roped off area for swimming. Rivers are much more dangerous.

Not round here they don't - they are vast and deep - no dedicated swim areas. People have drowned trying to help others who have got in trouble. We have stretches of rivers that are far safer (but I'd still want some vague supervision for a swimmer who isn't strong)

You live a in small city and ALL teens go swimming at an aqueduct? must be very busy plus they cycle there too, do they bring their dogs, perhaps get involved in an adventure or three....

I'm sure some up an coming author could write a series of childrens stories about their summer hols.

Ha. Well my kids all their mates all the teens of my friends so yes in my world pretty much all of them! Not sure it’s particularly Enid Blyton tho we are talking about teens…I see it as equivalent of teens going to beach which seems to be seen as acceptable whilst inland swimming means instant death according to this thread!

But these are preschool and younger primary age kids who are already doing more than many posters on here would approve of. OP DD is 13, she is closer to being an adult than the she of the children I used as examples.

Even if OP can control her DDs activities this summer, next summer she will be 14, at some point she will make her own decisions regardless of what her parents tell her. So if OP wants to stop her going swimming, somewhere other than a pool (let's face it the term open water is misleading in relation to what most teenagers want to do) then fine, but she needs to come up with a plan that prepares her DD for doing it safely next year. Not listening to the alarmist posters saying 'never' or worse the illogical ones stating '21' as an age where apparently without any prior exposure it is suddenly now okay.

Ideally OP should have spent the last 13 years when she had influence and control to prepare her DD for adventures in the outdoors (and yes I have been taking my DD in the lake since she was 6 months old).

This thread has really got on my nerves. It's alarmist and extremist. It may not be safe for some. No one , literally no one said everyone has to jump into a freezing lake and drown. The whole point is that you have to risk assess what your closest water is. For some it wouldn't be safe, for others it will.

Like I said, we have a lake near us. We also have a river, which in parts can be can be dangerous, in others bits safe - there are 6 or 7 beaches, well known that families go to, kids jump off a branch safely into the river. its been done for 30+ years and all locals know which bits are fine. I'm not suggesting this is true of every poster, or that they have similar, but to deny me, what I know , is offensive.

I find the posts towards @MsTSwift really offensive. To imply she's some sort of Enid Blyton, famous 5 wisher, is silly. She may very well have safe water near her.

Thank you! Sadly my teens are nothing like the famous five unless the famous five now into small bikinis eye liner and hoop earrings.

Do you know the lake OP. Can she go? And just paddle. Up to the knees. You wouldn't want any to deny her the chance of going, surely?

And I say that with recent experience. Ds2, same age is starting to go places, eg river with friends, that ds1 years ago, jumped off the very same branch into the same river. To the cinema etc.

I spoke to HoY the other day. He was Ds1's HoY, but the year above, so the year that ds2 will be going into next year. He said the difference was stark. This year has been very badly affected by Covid and they haven't developed and they're not as mature as previous years. HoY Is having to put more things in place to help them and facilitate in their emotional development. He says they can't seem to resolve petty quibbles amongst themselves, and he's constantly contacted by the children themselves and their parents over tittle tattle. It's an interesting thing.

I do believe this year (like many) need to get out, with their friends. But will also need more support to help them develop because of the damage that Covid has done.

I don't think it would've even occurred to Anne to try the eyeliner, incase Uncle Quentin saw.

100 percent not at all. My friends big brother was 17 when he drowned in a lake. He was a strong boy and good swimmer. Far too dangerous

If it’s a proper lake with a county managed cordoned swimming area, then I’d say from 16 onwards in the day time. Never in evening/night for a “beach party” where there may be drinking. Never to a wild swimming location. Never in the ocean. Only once 18.

My DC were are all excellent swimmers by age 10 too, but it takes time to teach them and only an adult life guarding/supervising can offset teenage risk taking behaviour caused by their hormones.

Never. It's madness for any age.

We live by the beach and my kids have been going there unaccompanied since 12/13. Including, horror of horrors, small cliff jumping. It's one of the joys of living by the water. The kids that get into trouble in the water here are the ones who are not used to the water and aren't strong swimmers. Mine are very strong swimmers, they surf and one of them is a qualified beach lifeguard so I'm very comfortable with it.

I've had a think about this and I'd agree with never, but we live on the south coast, in a town with 2 beaches and I've let mine go there unsupervised into the sea since they were both 11 with friends. There are no lifeguards here.

So I am feeling hypocritical. But, having thought about the difference between the sea here and a lake/loch/river/canal etc is that there is no cold water shock. There is nowhere that they can jump into the sea - no pier etc. You can only get in by walking in and it takes a long time to walk out far enough to get to waist height. If you're too cold you'd not go any further and come back.

For some reason going into the sea doesn't seems as dangerous to me as jumping in lakes.

But these are preschool and younger primary age kids who are already doing more than many posters on here would approve of. OP DD is 13, she is closer to being an adult than the she of the children I used as examples.

I'm not sure anyone would disapprove of the things you've described in the context they've happened in. DD12 is fine hacking out her only alone or with friends but not fine to swim in the local locks or reservoirs unaccompanied, she'd be fine to swim in a dedicated lido, lake with cordoned swimming are. At 13 OP's dd may well be close in figured to being an adult than these children (who are partaking in age appropriate supervised activity) but groups of teens aren't known for their sensible behaviour in large groups. What OP describes is not a lake with a dedicated swimming area and her daughter is not a strong swimmer who has been open water swimming since 6 months old and she can't turn back time now and make it so she has been. You need to go on the individual circumstances here not what you imagine your super explorer kids will be doing in 10 years time in your area

. The kids that get into trouble in the water here are the ones who are not used to the water and aren't strong swimmers.

Like OP's daughter ...