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Original poster

Advice needed regarding child welfare check

70 replies

Pondle · 09/07/2022 20:10

I'm having such anxiety and need some advice about what to expect.

(Name changed as I'm sure it will be outing to whoever did report me to the police)

Yesterday, a police officer came to our house because they had to check on the welfare of our children after receiving a report that I did not take appropriate action following an incident at a school fete.

The incident:
My 2yr old DS (who was a bit under the weather from recovering from flu-like illness) was crashed into, on a bouncy castle for his age, by a couple of 10yr old children. They caused him to roll off the bouncy castle. He did fall on his head. I immediately went up to him, checked him over and sat down right there to breastfeed him to comfort him.

He was okay. I was a little worried so I did ask for advice from a couple of family members who work as medical professionals and they both reassured me that he will likely be fine considering there was no bruising and the drop was small. I also checked via the NHS regarding concussion, again I was reassured he was okay. He wasn't showing any new symptoms that he hadn't had previously. So I didn't take him to A&E.

That was 2 weeks ago.

The police turned yesterday stating he had to check the welfare after someone reported me for neglect and not seeking medical help for a serious incident. He checked DS over for head injuries etc (ofc there's none). He attempted to tale a statement from my 2yr old and then interviewed my (suspected ADHD and ASD) 5yr old with speech issues and there were a serious of miscommunication that I wasn't able to correct.

He then took my statement. He did seem reasonably satisfied but said it may progress further.

I asked for clarity over what I'm meant to do... am I meant to take DS to A&E every time he falls over or gets punched by his older brother etc? Even of I don't think it's required? The police officer said yes as I'm not a medical professional.

I'm so worried. We already have social involvement due to DS1's behaviour being so extreme at school and the school have said a few times now that they are very concerned by how he causes others harm (before he started reception I did attempt to have discussions with them about his behaviour and how best to manage it but they refused to engage until he caused parents to make complaints).

Am I going to lose my kids? I get so terrified as my step sister lost her DS so I have seen it happen.

OP posts:
BiscoffSundae · 09/07/2022 20:12

Sounds like there is more to it

Thesearmsofmine · 09/07/2022 20:16

This sounds really odd. Surely it would be more than one police officer but also a police officer wouldn’t be trained to check your child over medically. Surely it would be social services?

Itwasntmeright · 09/07/2022 20:16

If you’re a good parent then just keep doing what you’re doing. People can report all they like, but if there’s nothing wrong then there’s nothing to find. Authorities do have to follow up on reports, so don’t take it personally, although I’m not sure what they expected to find after two weeks. I’m guessing they weren’t especially worried if they left it that long

kitcat15 · 09/07/2022 20:17

I think this is highly unlikely....if you have been referred to childrens services a SW would have visited....even a SW would Not have checked your child over...they would have taken him to your local children's hospital for medical assessment from a safeguarding paediatrician.....none of what you talk about would have happened in the UK OP

Original poster
Pondle · 09/07/2022 20:20

@BiscoffSundae There really isn't it. I already thought perhaps my post was a bit over the top with detail regarding DS1.

Social is involved with us with DS1 in the form of providing support during ADHD amd ASD assessment waiting time etc by sending a woman over weekly to provide us with advice on ways to help him at home. We were very keen to take that help as we hoped she would provide us with some sort of miracle we haven't tried yet but she just keeps saying how we are doing everything we should be already (she actually said we are doing everything right by him as parents and need to stop beating ourselves up by thinking we need to do more - I don't agree with that though, I think we can always do more, always room to improve).

Regarding the bouncy castle incident, why didn't whoever report us check on DS themselves? That's what I think is so odd? No one approached us when breastfeeding on me next to the castle. And no one pulled me to one side to suggest I get him checked out afterwards when we were all enjoying the rest of the fete. Idk, maybe they thought we looked odd as I allowed my kids to walk about barefoot? Idk. I know my family gets annoyed that I allow them to do that (but I know how annoying shoes feel and it's only a school field?)

OP posts:
BiscoffSundae · 09/07/2022 20:20

And why would someone report something that happened two weeks ago? Not adding up.

Original poster
Pondle · 09/07/2022 20:21

@Thesearmsofmine do you think maybe it wasn't even a police officer? Like some sort of con?

He came on his own, unmarked car, no uniform (I didn't even think to ask for ID!), just a waistcoat with police looking stuff in it.

OP posts:
NotaCoolMum · 09/07/2022 20:23

are the relatives you spoke to nurses or Drs?

Original poster
Pondle · 09/07/2022 20:23

@Itwasntmeright thank you, that's a good point about them having to check in and if they waited 2 weeks they probably weren't worried. We were abroad for the past week though so perhaps they did try whilst we were away? So that would have only been 1 week then? Although he didn't say he had.

OP posts:
kitcat15 · 09/07/2022 20:23

Pondle · 09/07/2022 20:21

@Thesearmsofmine do you think maybe it wasn't even a police officer? Like some sort of con?

He came on his own, unmarked car, no uniform (I didn't even think to ask for ID!), just a waistcoat with police looking stuff in it.

I can't believe you say you let a stranger in to your home and touch your child 🙄

Original poster
Pondle · 09/07/2022 20:24

@NotaCoolMum one is an ex-nurse and is a carer. The other is a HCA.

OP posts:
kitcat15 · 09/07/2022 20:24

I think this is a piss take thread... I'm out

Original poster
Pondle · 09/07/2022 20:25

@kitcat15 Fuck, should I report this to the police? He only looked at his head.

OP posts:
Original poster
Pondle · 09/07/2022 20:27

Idk whether to be relieved that you, @kitcat15 , think this is a pisstake thread or not. Part of me thinks I should be relieved as hopefully the social will see this is clearly ridiculous too?

Why did someone report me though? And who? That's what I don't understand. Why? And how did they know I didn't take DS to A&E later?

OP posts:
WingBingo · 09/07/2022 20:27

This does sound very odd.

plus lots of kids are barefoot.

Original poster
Pondle · 09/07/2022 20:29

none of what you talk about would have happened in the UK OP ... but it did, it happened yesterday after we returned from holiday.

There was a police slip in the front door asking me to call them ASAP regarding an incident. We were thinking "oh shit, did someone break in?" But the house looked fine etc. I called them and the officer came round right away.

OP posts:
TheVolturi · 09/07/2022 20:29

I don't think it was a police officer!

BiscoffSundae · 09/07/2022 20:31

Well it would be simple enough to check by calling 101 if this did indeed happen ....

Original poster
Pondle · 09/07/2022 20:31

Should I be relieved it sounds odd @WingBingo ? Like something I should stop thinking over?

Should I ensure I take DSs to A&E each time they get hurt now? I just don't know what to do. Surely A&E will then report me for being OTT?

OP posts:
wishuponastar1988 · 09/07/2022 20:31

I would've thought if there was a concern for welfare then the police would've asked you to take your child to the hospital. They aren't medically trained to confirm whether a child is injured or not. I am also not sure it is in their code of conduct to be interviewing a 5 year old with additional needs in the home - taking a statement from a child requires them to follow the ABE guidance - it's usually done in a police station. I'm also not sure why this would warrant a statement at this stage? Surely your child should've been seen by the hospital and them make the judgement as to whether your response was neglectful (I'm not saying it was).

Original poster
Pondle · 09/07/2022 20:31

Thank you @BiscoffSundae I shall do that now

OP posts:
Thisdressfitlastyear · 09/07/2022 20:32

How awful for you.

However, and please don’t take this as being pompous or similar but I’m a bit worried by your description of your two year old being punched in the head by his brother? Is that just a turn of phrase?

Aksbdt · 09/07/2022 20:32

surely it’s someone who knew that you hadn’t been to A&E though as anyone at the fete wouldn’t have known if you’d gone home then got worried.
when you say the 5 year old punches the 2 year old do you mean with full force?

anybloodyname · 09/07/2022 20:33

🤨 none of this makes sense

PoisonedIvydaffs · 09/07/2022 20:33

There’s no harm in contacting the police to verify that the person who came was one of their officers. It does sound a bit odd. Was he definitely police, not a social worker?

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