Advice needed regarding child welfare check

[Pondle]

I'm having such anxiety and need some advice about what to expect.

(Name changed as I'm sure it will be outing to whoever did report me to the police)

Yesterday, a police officer came to our house because they had to check on the welfare of our children after receiving a report that I did not take appropriate action following an incident at a school fete.

The incident:
My 2yr old DS (who was a bit under the weather from recovering from flu-like illness) was crashed into, on a bouncy castle for his age, by a couple of 10yr old children. They caused him to roll off the bouncy castle. He did fall on his head. I immediately went up to him, checked him over and sat down right there to breastfeed him to comfort him.

He was okay. I was a little worried so I did ask for advice from a couple of family members who work as medical professionals and they both reassured me that he will likely be fine considering there was no bruising and the drop was small. I also checked via the NHS regarding concussion, again I was reassured he was okay. He wasn't showing any new symptoms that he hadn't had previously. So I didn't take him to A&E.

That was 2 weeks ago.

The police turned yesterday stating he had to check the welfare after someone reported me for neglect and not seeking medical help for a serious incident. He checked DS over for head injuries etc (ofc there's none). He attempted to tale a statement from my 2yr old and then interviewed my (suspected ADHD and ASD) 5yr old with speech issues and there were a serious of miscommunication that I wasn't able to correct.

He then took my statement. He did seem reasonably satisfied but said it may progress further.

I asked for clarity over what I'm meant to do... am I meant to take DS to A&E every time he falls over or gets punched by his older brother etc? Even of I don't think it's required? The police officer said yes as I'm not a medical professional.

I'm so worried. We already have social involvement due to DS1's behaviour being so extreme at school and the school have said a few times now that they are very concerned by how he causes others harm (before he started reception I did attempt to have discussions with them about his behaviour and how best to manage it but they refused to engage until he caused parents to make complaints).

Am I going to lose my kids? I get so terrified as my step sister lost her DS so I have seen it happen.

Sounds odd. I'd call the police station (not the number on the slip, google the number) and check whether the officer was genuine (though I'm not sure how he'd have known about the bouncy castle incident if it wasn't).

And next time anyone shows up like that demand official ID before you let them in.

The last thing I would have done to my child is fed him breast or otherwise.
2 might be considered old for a breast feed by some and not by others.

I would have immediately taken him to first aid but not given water

Sorry but same, how often is ds2 getting punched or other in the head by his older brother and what do you do when he does?

If you phoned a number on a calling card then its easy enough to get that verified as genuine

The fact the cop was on his own and not in uniform suggests it was someone from the child protection unit, or similar, which due to time lapsed since the incident would be who was dealing with it

A 5 year old punching a 2 year old full on - yes I would report it each and every time to a and e

I wouldn't take my child to first aid for a standard head bump unless it had been unusually hard or they had lost consciousness or showed other worrying signs. Kids bump their heads. Breastfeeding is often the best thing to do with an upset child who has had a bump as it's very calming for them. Whenever DD had a tumble while she was still breastfed, it would calm her right down. Same with injections.

Was it the police station you actuallycalled ? Are you sure it was the same matter that was reported? I mean sounds like they sent a detective and not a regular PC.. how can that be

Also agree this sounds very weird all round!

Okay so the man who answered on 101 said he can confirm it was a police officer and that he can tell me that at the end of the report it says "no offence and no concerns" but he then said he can't go into any other detail or what's happening beyond that.

Surely that's a good sign though... the "no concerns"?

Thank you @BiscoffSundae for that suggestion again.

The few times I have had dealings with the police, they have almost fallen over themselves to show their ID. This sounds very odd.
Can you call 101 to verify?

Sounds like it's a malicious report/someone nosy busybody tbh.

Sounds like it's a malicious report/someone nosy busybody tbh ... that was our families' response when we told them. MIL suggested perhaps one of the parents' whose child has been hurt by DS1, their way to get social to check in on us? Idk, seems mental, surely they'd just say they had concerns rather than wait till a bouncy castle fall?

Or someone who's seeing the 2yo repeatedly being punched by elder sibling? -if that's what's happening?

MIL suggested perhaps one of the parents' whose child has been hurt by DS1, their way to get social to check in on us? so is ds1 hurting other children too?

This all sounds very, very strange.

The police officers visit does not sound standard at all. If there are medical concerns about a child they'd have been taken to the hospital for a CP medical conducted by a paed.

Also 'an ex nurse' and a HCA are not medical professionals... at all.

@Hugasauras that was my thinking, there was no confusion, no loss of consciousness, no mark etc. I did check with relatives ad NHS but all said not to take to A&E. And yes, BFing is so soothing isn't it, I still feed him on demand and to comfort. I'm not sure how that can be viewed as a bad thing.

@MichelleScarn DS1 isn't repeatedly punching DS2 and I'm not sure anyone has seen it. It's usually a frustration thing and 99% of the time I catch him before the swing hits. Tbh most of the time DS1 is hitting me.

He hasn't ever left a mark on DS2, I'd have taken him to A&E if it was a full on contact punch.

This is why we have the social involved already and took the opportunity to have weekly visits to obtain behavioural advice etc. Social know DS1 hurts other children. I did warn school before he started that he needed 1 to 1 supervision at nursery as he is a biter but school dismissed it until end of last term when parents started to complain (I'm gutted its taken that but also glad they did because it now means the school is engaging with us on how we can all aim to support him and get him help to stop this uncontrolled emotive lashing out).

It’ll probably be someone who is weird about breastfeeding older children. Don’t worry about it x

Ah okay @concernedguineapig I didn't know that. I thought anyone who worked with patients with providing care and having knowledge on providing medical care were classed as medical professionals. Oops! So is it only Drs then?

Do I need to ring 101 and get my statement changed? What if they think I'm trying to dupe them?

He isn't even old though, he has only just turned 2 @Wnikat !

If SS are involved you are going to get pulled up on everything.so you have to ve twice as good and engage even though it is often pointless and humiliating. Anything else is seen as not engaging.

Best way to deal with it is state your side”He had no indicators of a head injury but you are right officer, I will do that in future”

What business is it of yours or anyone else’s whether a hurt 2 year old is immediately breastfed by his mother
what a toxic and unhelpful aside

I think not going to A&E was a reasonable judgement. Most bouncey castles are only about 12 inches off the floor and tend to be surrounded by safety mats. Obviously a nasty accident could occur, but you seem to have taken reasonable checks to ensure that the child was ok and provided appropriate comfort.

I wouldn’t worry. Police and Children’s Services get lots and lots of reports that they need to check out, but they’re generally pretty reasonable and realistic. I doubt that they would take this any further (unless you’re leaving out something significant such as accident occurred because child was unsupervised and you didn’t notice for ages etc).

@Theoneinthemiddle but surely they only know to engage if someone reports? Perhaps it was a teacher then at the school who reported as they know social are involved?

That is what we done though, let him talk to DSs and then politely gave our account and explained why I did not take DS to A&E. Then sought advice from him about what we are meant to do for every knock and bang. I mean... he did fall off his scooter today, no marks but should I have taken him to A&E? Surely they'd be so annoyed at me wasting their time!