We very soon won’t be able to afford our life

[WhatsHoppening]

We have a high mortgage, high childcare costs which thankfully will reduce but still wraparound. With our mortgage term ending in December and the increase in gas and electric, food costs, petrol and the increase in mortgage when we remortgage on a higher rate we will not be able to afford to live. Our outgoings will outstrip our income. We are both professionals, I work part time (4 days) and there’s no hope of DC getting into after school club on my day off (and realistically after childcare I bring in less than £100 pcm per extra day worked after childcare). I feel sick. I keep getting told by my parents and grandparents we will get through it but how?! My grandparents were post war so it was hard but my gran could be a SAHM for 3 kids on a my grandads teacher salary. This is a pipe dream for us now and DH earns more than a NQ teacher. Just a rant- lots have it much worse. But I’m scared for the future.

When was the last time you looked for a new job? I’d be aggressive about my career if I was struggling with income vs outgoings. Try a mortgage broker and you should be able to book a rate now and hedge against future rate increases. Would you be able to increase the term of your mortgage?

Yes me too. Single mother to an over 18 so no top ups and my outgoings are going to be much higher than my wage when the energy bills increase in October, if not before if fuel and food continues to rise.

I'll be going from a manageable wage to poverty and it's very scary.

and realistically after childcare I bring in less than £100 pcm per extra day worked after childcare

So you could add an extra £400/450 per month but choose not to?

She’s already said she can’t get childcare for the other day. I would stil try childminders even if it’s a different setting from school wrap around.

if your DH is a teacher, can he do a couple of evenings a week tutoring?

Have a look if you can move jobs to increase salary, job market is bouyant in some sectors at the moment. Also consider if £400pm increase is worth going FT for, it might not be and I can understand why you wouldn’t want to but it is a fallback option if you can make childcare work.

@WafflyVersatileOohOoh sorry it’s about £90-95 for the whole month for the extra day work. Which is better than nothing but seems very little as id them spend any family time on weekends cleaning and doing any life admin that I crush into my one day currently.

Could you pay interest only on your mortgage for a couple of years whilst you apply for other jobs/ childcare situation changes?

Not ideal but evening job/ weekend work?

Have you tried to remortgage earlier before the rates rise further?

Sorry I didn’t phrase it very well. For the one extra day I’d bring in £250 ish for the month so after childcare for the younger it would only be £90 odd and then the issue of the older child from 3:15.
I might have to start job hunting I love my job and it’s flexibility. I’m public sector so little scope to negotiate more pay and currently mid way through a masters in an attempt to boost earning potential.

It’s crap isn’t it. You’ll have to either:

1. cut costs in all other areas than those mentioned


2. work full time


3. Find other jobs which are better paid


4. find a side hustle

probably best to try a bit of all of these. Childcare ending should make a big difference surely?

Definitely be in touch with an independent mortgage advisor now. They can secure a mortgage now for December when your current deal ends. We did that in February and our loan papers were valid until September. We remortgaged on 1 July.

I have looked into it but since we last remortgaged we have had another child so on paper we look shit and I’m not sure if we would meet the affordability. I was hoping to postpone until 30 hours kick in or remortgage with same bank to avoid further checks.

Following your update and doing a masters, I would try to stay part time for sure. Are there any promotions coming up that you could apply for?

@MissBPotter it was meant to! To the tune of £600 more a month but seems that will be swallowed up quickly by other bills now and higher mortgage.

PCM - Per calendar month not a week.

I hear you... and there's no doubt times will be tough. Your post reminds me of our life with young children, when interest rates averaged about 7% and then hiked to 10, 12, 15.... and like you we were caught in the trap of paying exorbitant childcare costs. I remember lying awake at house wondering what the hell we could do and almost wishing the house could be repossessed because we were In negative equity too.
It's shit but you'll survive, though it will
Mean pulling all the stops out for a while. Can you or your dh take on some extra evening or weekend work temporarily? Anything you can cut out for the moment like Netflix? Can you cut fuel costs anyhow?
It's a scary time for so many

the fact posters are even having to suggest a ft teacher works evenings and someone working 4 days a week has to get a second job is horrifying!

have you checked all your outgoings? Any chance of reducing.

it is rough to have a worse lifestyle but going into poverty with two incomes is horrendous.

Need to see your incoming wages vs your outgoings spends to advise realistically.

No offence but if you're used to money you're probably wasting a huge amount without even realising it.

Could you increase the length of your mortgage term ? You could reduce it again in a few years when the children are older.

could you change banks, they might offer you a better mortgage rate?

there are some brilliant websites that if you write in all you incoming and outgoing costs, they will help you if possible.

you are probably doing it all already though!

im so sorry and just wanted to say that you are not alone.

'it is rough to have a worse lifestyle but going into poverty with two incomes is horrendous.'

I completely agree- it is. I was just making the point that that was the reality back in the early 1990s for loads of full time professionals, dh and me included. Our mortgage payment practically doubled in the space of a few months.

Of course it's not a race to the bottom and I'm not suggesting it's good for people to be living like this- but economies go in cycles and us oldies have seen this before. Sometimes taking on extra work is the only way through

Also the bank won’t be looking for a total new application from you (with all your details) you already have a mortgage and can ask them for a lower rate whenever you want to?

if you talk to another bank, they might have a lower rate and your bank might match that rate.

you can definitely fix it now if you need to, you don’t need to wait until the term of this fixed rate is up.

good luck.

Move house & downsize?

Yes, I know what PCM means thank you. OP said she’d earn an extra £100 net for every additional day she worked each month. By going up to five days, that would be an extra £400+ per month.

OP then explained that she worded it badly.

Would the adult child not be able to contribute?

I’ve looked at this but the cost of moving combined with the increase in house prices means we’d have to move somewhere considerably smaller/further away which would come with its own problems.
im worth far more dead than alive sadly- if I were to die our mortgage would get paid off, big sum for the family and DH could afford to manage without the mortgage payments. Sad but true.