We very soon won’t be able to afford our life

[WhatsHoppening]

We have a high mortgage, high childcare costs which thankfully will reduce but still wraparound. With our mortgage term ending in December and the increase in gas and electric, food costs, petrol and the increase in mortgage when we remortgage on a higher rate we will not be able to afford to live. Our outgoings will outstrip our income. We are both professionals, I work part time (4 days) and there’s no hope of DC getting into after school club on my day off (and realistically after childcare I bring in less than £100 pcm per extra day worked after childcare). I feel sick. I keep getting told by my parents and grandparents we will get through it but how?! My grandparents were post war so it was hard but my gran could be a SAHM for 3 kids on a my grandads teacher salary. This is a pipe dream for us now and DH earns more than a NQ teacher. Just a rant- lots have it much worse. But I’m scared for the future.

To your gran being a SAHP on a teachers salary, I wondered what their lifestyle was like?

My mum was a SAHP and my dad earned a decent but not extravagant wage. At the time I'd say we were comfortable but we had:

• one car
• one abroad holiday a year but with free accommodation, sometimes a UK holiday in a cottage
• one tv
• new clothes only occasionally, lots of hand me downs and my mum would make me dresses
• ok food but nothing fancy, always using leftovers, always the same meals on rotation. Small portions
• eating out perhaps 3 times a year
• we'd have the fire on instead of the heating
• baths a few times a week, always children in together
• my brother and I shared a room for a few years
• no childcare costs, we didn't go to private nursery only preschool when it was free
• my dad would bring home old printer paper from work for drawing etc
• never had trades in the house, he did the painting, fixing, building himself

Not to say you aren't struggling, and certainly standards of living should increase not decrease, but I also think out expectations have increased hugely in the last 20yrs.

I would list all your outgoings, every penny, and see what you can cut down on. Perhaps extra tutoring work for your DH, or weekend work for you.

I'm sorry that it's this tough.

Well it would depend how you died so don’t even think about that.

But surely the expense of that would be counter productive.

Sorry, that posted too soon. Why are you even thinking like that. Your life is worth more than any money to your family.

Agree, that patch of the 90s was tough. I remember the stress, my parents talking about a set of friend who just left in the night, posting the house keys in at the bank on the way.

I remember my parents raiding my piggie bank for the cash and promising to pay me back (they did)

My dad says now he could have covered the huge mortgage rates for a few months but not more.

If you look at them now you'd say they were really quite wealthy, they were lucky and we made it through.

I remember this too. I remember sobbing thinking we would lose everything we had worked so hard for.

I don't know if it's a possible solution today but back in the early 1990's we reverted to an interest only mortgage for this period. This took 1/3 off our mortgage overnight and made that difficult time possible to bear.

Tough as @*
we had this many years ago and it sucks

1. go veggie, all of you


2. slippers are king, warm feet = turn off heating ( obviously add jumpers etc as required)


3. DH ( hoping secondary) needs to tutor 2x A level students per week - depending on location that will be 35-50 per student per week

( yes that sucks and it is hard on him, but accessible stream of extra income for a teacher)

If you are public sector have you thought about a radical shift to a cheaper area. Wage same but housing could be a lot cheaper.

Thank you to those who have gone through the same it is reassuring to hear there is an end point.
Re: lifestyle to be fair we haven’t been abroad for years, don’t eat out, have one old car no finance etc. cycle most places, don’t spend much on clothes or going out. Virtually our whole income is mortgage and bills and childcare. It was right by doable before but won’t be now.

Lots of minimising on this thread but the reality is that a great many people are going to struggle and 'get another job' is just not a magic solution - everyone is feeling the squeeze and not everyone is able to just walk into a new job. The UK is a low wage economy and many places don't have high vacancies. Two working adults, working 1.8fte between them, is not asking something unrealistic to be able to pay their bills IMO.

I see Martin Lewis is raising the alarm again about the 64% anticipated rise in energy bills in October, it is getting tough out there.

I guess all you can do is either increase income or cut costs - but YANBU in finding it tough and dispiriting - those of us working hard are getting horribly squeezed whilst the government faff about arguing over who will get to live in Downing Street next.

God, that's a depressing suggestion.

It really shouldn't be this bloody hard.

We got a good rate with L&C online mortgage brokers recommended on here.

www.landc.co.uk/

Try to extend your mortgage term. I think it will be the norm in future to have mortgages over 30/ 40 years.

@WhatsHoppening it’s shit. Not doubt about it. I’m not about to lecture you or patronize you with any “tips”, tell you to get an extra job etc. I just want to tell you that were in the same boat. We’ve went from feeling relatively comfortable (not rich) to really feeling the pinch over the last few months.

You will get a better mortgage deal if you start looking before the remortgage deadline. By this time lenders will know you need to find a new finance deal and will not be as competitive on the rates and terms.
Are there any subscriptions you can cut? Change cars to smaller more economical models.

It depends. Some people just end up staying in places after Uni etc, no family to help with childcare, no real ties to area. I live in an area in Lancashire that I’m not from originally that scores very highly in best places to live nationwide. Lots of people move here for quality of life reasons.
I know not everyone can or wants to more but not to be discounted.

It’s a worrying time. Depressing to work more for less fun.
I just can’t fathom why as a society we work ourselves into the ground like this - I mean we have to eat! I get that but this isn’t the way it should be. Not helpful I know.
lift sharing to reduce petrol costs.
ebay and marketplace.
amazing how much stuff you don’t want or need!

We just sorted our remortgage. Fixed rate for 5 years. We used L&C.

Looking at getting a fixed rate tariff for gas. The electric fixed rate is set til March. Dh phoning supplier tomorrow to up the DD.

Our food bill is huge now (2 teenagers in the house!) It's pretty depressing, really.

Consider paying an early exit fee to secure your next mortgage now. You may find you save a lot that way.

Thanks all. Have just completed the form on L&C and booked for a call to discuss on Monday. At least I feel like I’m doing something!

Look at outgoings - easier to cut back here than ruin career prospects. Literally go over every single purchase. I have sympathy as we have costs higher than pay right now but know it is worthwhile given pension contributions/ childcare costs decreasing in the next year.

There is no need to do that. Mortgage lenders usually give 6 months on loan papers from issue to expiry.

Can you take a silver lining approach and move to somewhere nice but with cheaper house prices, where DH will get the same wage? I can think of some lovely parts of the country with lowish house prices.
Teachers can make a lot of money tutoring. It's very well paid compared with a lot of other work.
In the fairly short term your DC2 will be at school and costs will go down. Maybe tutoring and cutting general costs can see you through till then. Obviously cut out all but the cheapest holidays.

We were in a similar situation a few years ago. We were able to extend our mortgage term to get us through a difficult period, and will be able to reduce it again now our childcare costs have lessened.

I think a lot of us are going to be looking to cut out childcare costs by working when our partners are at home. I keep telling myself if it gets too much I'll quiet my job and try to get twilight hours in a nursing home - I've worked in care before and am qualified. Although they're so desperate for staff I doubt that even matters.