We very soon won’t be able to afford our life

[WhatsHoppening]

We have a high mortgage, high childcare costs which thankfully will reduce but still wraparound. With our mortgage term ending in December and the increase in gas and electric, food costs, petrol and the increase in mortgage when we remortgage on a higher rate we will not be able to afford to live. Our outgoings will outstrip our income. We are both professionals, I work part time (4 days) and there’s no hope of DC getting into after school club on my day off (and realistically after childcare I bring in less than £100 pcm per extra day worked after childcare). I feel sick. I keep getting told by my parents and grandparents we will get through it but how?! My grandparents were post war so it was hard but my gran could be a SAHM for 3 kids on a my grandads teacher salary. This is a pipe dream for us now and DH earns more than a NQ teacher. Just a rant- lots have it much worse. But I’m scared for the future.

www.moneysavingexpert.com/family/money-help/

Do the Martin Lewis money makeover and see where you can make savings from your budget.

I understand how you’re feeling OP. We’ve got one child and no childcare costs. In February I left a flexible job, 2.5 days a week, for a five day a week job in a school because the commute to the first job was 150 miles a week and my new job is a third of that. When I did my calculations, I was better off per month by about £100 a month. It’s now July and I’m about £3/400 down a month instead thanks to rising costs and it’s heartbreaking. I already have a side hustle and run a small business on top of that - I can’t do much more.

Has the OP said if her DH is a teacher, I thought it was the Granddad?

Foodbank? 😁

Lots of the public sector is desperate to recruit right now. I’d keep a close eye out for internal/external vacancies at the next grade up.

I don't think that much of what you have put is unusual today. I am a teacher and my husband earns similarly. We only ever go on one holiday max, spend little on clothes, use our fire to save money on CH etc. TVs are often mentioned on lists like this - how much are people meant to be spending on TVs nowadays?! I've literally never bought one in my life, have one in the lounge that was passed onto us a decade ago and still works fine. I don't know anyone who spends a significant proportion of their wages on a TV. We do eat out more than when I was growing up but it's a bit like the avocado/millenials buying a house argument - the cost oftge former is not what's stopping you buying the latter. A few meals out are not the reason why a lot of people might soon really, really struggle.

🙄

OP, I'm sorry if my post came across as flippant, it wasn't the place to be musing on lifestyle expectations.

I'm glad you're able to take back some control with the form.

If it was every only just manageable, I wonder if something just has to give: mortgage, or childcare? Presumably bills are as low as they can go and your income can't really increase by much.

From your lifestyle description it just doesn't sound sustainable in the long term. Is this the time for a dramatic rethink, if that's possible?

Really do wish you well

It's really awful to be in a position like this. All you can do is cut every penny you can and try and make a bit extra where you can. It will pass. It did in the late 80s early 90s but I sold quite a bit of family jewellery to pay the bills. I'm talking odd rings etc not huge stuff. We did car boot sales , ebay etc 100 quid here and there helps.

I know I think I was confusing and didn’t want to be rude to people trying to help- DH is a quantity surveyor so sadly can’t take on students but it was a kind suggestion. I am a university lecturer (arts).

Now is when subsidised nurseries need to be introduced. I've been saying it forever. Women are getting shafted (again)

Thank you, it didn’t I understand the premise.
I know- I feel huge regrets on the big mortgage now but we never saw all this coming.
I really would prefer not to move from the area we are both settled and happy in, DC in school, support locally. We aren’t in a v expensive area and moving away would negatively impact our quality of life hugely. We also can cycle commute to work which is a godsend.

Well I’d be sitting down with your parents and going through your expenses and see what they suggest. Perhaps they could provide free childcare or give you some money.
Before anyone jumps on me I’m in my 60’s and cutting back to pay my adult children’s energy bills in the winter because I know how hard it is for them.

We went through a terrible time when Dc were tiny. A week after having dd2, Dh lost his job and interest rates went up to 15%. You have to take a deep breath, make decisions about how to get out of the mess (we moved areas so Dh could get a new job, which ended up being much better paid and was the best thing we ever did).
What got me through initially was thinking “we’re all healthy, we will have a roof over our heads (even if it’s a caravan!) and we love each other”.

It is hard at first but you will come through it.

@Fairyliz thats so kind of you. My parents kindly gave us some money a few years ago to help with our deposit so I couldn’t ask for more. They are v wealthy to be fair but often talk about the high interest rates in the past and say we will get through it (I’m sure they’re right).

Thank you @LizzieSiddal there are so many so much worse off so I realise we are lucky in many ways it just feels tough.

OP - if you're a university lecturer, you may well be able to tutor. Lots of university undergraduates tutor online, often asking for several times the minimum wage. Just spend some time going over the gcse and A'level curriculums.

Second this. We're in a similar situation. Both full time workers, no family help so nursery is £1222 a month after tax free amount as it only covers approx 3 days a week. We live in a small house in the south east (was born here). I'm petitioning to try and get the cap on tax free childcare lifted to help women stay in work. It's awful tbh.

The reason for the state paying top ups when your children are under 18 is because they aren't able to contribute. I think it's perfectly acceptable that the child related top ups stop when the child is over 18. It's unacceptable to expect child related top ups for life.

Increase your mortgage term by 10 or 20 years
So monthly payments are less
You can review again in 5 years

It’s getting beyond a joke, we have a fairly high household income and we are struggling too ! We have just had a gas bill of over £5000, still in shock about this 😞

I think I’ll have to if things get desperate. The thought of juggling that with work, two small kids, my masters etc makes me want to cry to be honest but needs must!

Suspend the masters for a year or two?

Can you suspend your masters for a little while.

Sounds like a challenge for you at the moment.

Universities tend to be large employers with lots of opportunities. If you are struggling financially I'm going to assume that maybe you are towards the bottom of the scale. It may be time to do some assertive searching for promotion opportunities?

I'm afraid that at the end of the day, if a lecturer and a surveyor cannot make ends meet, then you are living beyond your means. It won't be forever but think about making a drastic change in lifestyle, you will make it out the other end.