I’ve written this 3 times but it was too long and waffling so name change and down to bare bones.
the last 5 years I’ve put myself last behind everyone but the last 2 years in particular I’ve been a total mug. A series of events since Easter culminating in a dose of covid that put me in bed for a week have opened my eyes.
I straight up told dh that if things didn’t change the marriage was over. No therapy, no second chances no trials. He took it the way it was meant, agreed that he had been taking the piss and things have changed (for less than a month, I’m not calling it a success yet).
here’s the bit that might be ridiculous. Can I do this with everyone else? Just tell them that I am now my own top priority (apart from my kids) and I will be working to my own goals exclusively. Then using the classic “no that doesn’t work for me” when I’m asked to do anything that doesn’t support my goals. I know people are unlikely to take it well but there can’t really be any come back can there?
what tipped me over the edge was being treated like some unfortunate soul with no life or ambition when actually I’m running round pleasing everyone else!
i can give more detail but I am the epitome of the phrase “setting yourself on fire to keep other people warm”. Or I was, bugger that now.